Stress and fertility

[Sparklylife]

Anyone else have any experience or any literature I could read about stress and infertility? I am worried that stress is playing an important role and it seems like something I have so little control over. I thought I was managing my stress levels, but worried I probably am not really. Seems like it is always there in the background and not sure what else I can do. It is like a bad circle, because the more I think about it now, the worse I am worried it will be.

I am three days late for my period, but according to my fertility app I am one day late officially as my period can vary a little a few days here and there. I am now worried I am getting my hopes up for them to be taken away again in a day or so. It is just so difficult not to think about when you are always waiting for that time of the month. It just reminds you without you wanting to constantly think about it. Can’t help it.

I did a pregnancy test this morning, just to settle my thoughts once and for all.. as I was hoping it would just take my mind of it knowing my period is on its way. It was negative, but still no period.

The last month has been really difficult as I am working for the NHS and I have been redeployed based on my past skills to help out in the pandemic. It has been very stressful and I have tried my best to look at positives and to relieve my own anxiety, but it seems to be a little out of my control. I am constantly tired and very often find myself with a headache lately. I got a feeling my period being late now is due to anxiety and stress, rather than us actually being successful.

We are on wait for IVF treatment now after successful surgery in September, but still nothing happening naturally.. normally a 6 week wait, but who knows how long this wait will be now as everything is on hold. Cannot help but feeling a little helpless, but then I get annoyed with myself as I am so grateful really! I am healthy, in a happy relationship, my life is great and I still have a steady income and my job is going nowhere! It is such a mind boggle!

I hope you are all ok, staying safe and looking after yourselves the best you can!

Sorry for my little rant, but it kind of helps getting it all out like this 😇 No one else I can talk to about this really - other than my partner and mum - and feel they get it a lot!

Lots of love 🌸

[Starsandsunbeams]

Hiya, firstly, I want to say THANK YOU! As an NHS worker, and everything that you and the teams around you are doing, especially now in these very testing times, thank you xx

As for your post, I have read quite a lot in the past about stress being a factor for fertility/infertility, but can't quite remember what I've read in order to point you in the right direction at the moment. It's a tough one though, because I found that the more I thought about being stressed, the more anxious and stressed I became! Lots of things helped me to feel a little more balanced, like taking walks outside or regular sessions of exercise, meditation and listening to mindfulness apps. I can only imagine what your job must be like right now though. For me, we are currently waiting for our fourth embryo transfer, but due to Covid-19, all IVF through my clinic has been put on hold. In one way, I'm seeing this as it being taken out of my control, there is nothing I can do about it during this pandemic, so I'm not having to make decisions or do anything right now. Really difficult though, as something that I find so hard about IVF is that you have little control over the outcome it seems, although I think we all do as much as we can to keep some control, whether it is diet, exercise, relaxation etc etc.

I will look through my books and let you know if I find some good things to read. Take one day at a time. These times are unprecedented and we just need to look after ourselves and loved ones to get through this. You are doing an amazing job, just being you at the moment is enough xxx

[Sparklylife in reply to Starsandsunbeams]

Thank you so much for your reply and reassuring words! It is true what you say that this is something I don’t have control over, I just need to accept that and not worry about what I can’t change! Concentrate on what I can instead. I have started running again and currently just completed week 4 of Couch to 5k, hoping that will help and it seems to relieve immediate stress after a shift at work at the moment, so that is something at least. Downloaded the app called Calm, will see if that is something that may help me. Might also look into audio books - but not sure where to look for that yet.

Again, thank you! Your words means a lot. And I wish you all the best for your fourth transfer once the clinics can get back to some normality. Hopefully it will not be too long a wait. Hope you stay healthy and well! Xoxo

[Sarahmanc]

Hmmm I never read anything specific that linked stress to infertility but it certainly makes sense. In times of stress, the body only performs essential functions and I guess reproduction isn’t one of them. It’s bloody frustrating because the more you think ‘I must stop worrying’ the more you worry!

All I can say is that it finally happened for me when I cut my hours at work. I was finding it really stressful. I also conceived after a holiday. It was one of those irritating cliches that people say to you - go on holiday, relax and it’ll happen - and you want to punch them!

This is such a difficult time, especially in your field so I think you just need to cut yourself some slack at the moment.

Fingers crossed that your next treatment is successful and in the meantime thank you so much for your part in fighting this horrible virus xx

[Sparklylife in reply to Sarahmanc]

Thank you for taking the time to reply! It does make some sense I suppose, it is just like you say though - I am probably my own worst enemy. My period arrived late this month, 3 days over my normal cycle, which has been very stable, so I think it probably is down to current circumstances. Just so worried I was going to get my hopes up when deep down it did not feel right.

Both your replies have made me realise I need to let go of trying to control everything, some things are out of my control, so no point over worrying about it and indeed - cut myself some slack. Thank you!!

And I am really, really happy it did happen to you! 🥰 Maybe a holiday or two will be booked once we are allowed out in the world again!

Hope you and your family all stay healthy and safe! Xx