My journey

[Bluedrea]

I have been married for 3 years now I haven't used any contraceptives till date. We were using natural calendar method to avoid pregnancy initially. But in 2019 when I have started to TTC I started to test my ovulation and found that I ovulate around 19 th day of my cycle. Apparently I have been having sex around that time for three years now, as I thought in the past I ovulate around 14 th day as everyone. Now I am freaking out TTC every month which end up in periods. I feel so depressed now.

[LizzieBW]

Hi Bluedrea,

I'm so sorry that you've had a stressful time with TTC. I have to say that timing sex around ovulation is not an exact science (as you will be aware by now!). In theory, you're only fertile in the 5 days leading up to and including the day of ovulation. If you're testing with ovulation sticks then when you see a positive result (i.e when the test line is as strong as or stronger than the control line) then this usually indicates you will ovulate within 24-48 hours and is the best time to have sex. Apologies if you already knew all of this but many, many women don't know the details because they've never had to learn it.

Equally, you won't always ovulate on the same cycle day unless your periods are absolutely bang on the exact same length every cycle. You should also have at least 12-14 days between the day you ovulate and your period starting so if you did ovulate cd19 every cycle then your cycles are, 31-33ish days long?

Also, sorry to ask but have you been having sex only at the time you thought you were ovulating? If you were concerned about your fertility and decided to proceed with some tests this would be one of the first questions they might ask you about the frequency and timing of sex. Just a reminder thag ovulation tests also cannot confirm ovulation is happening successfully, a positive result only indicates your body is gearing up for the process.

It's great you're reaching out when feeling low and I can reassure you this is an amazing community full of wonderfully kind women/people (a few men) who will give you heaps of advice, care and support. You're not alone xx

[Bluedrea in reply to LizzieBW]

Yeah my cycle is 30 to 34 ish... I have been having sex during my fertile window, still no luck.. I seriously think something is going wrong. I am eagerly waiting for this pandemic to be over to consult a fertility specialist. Thank you so much for your support, this means a lot xx

[LizzieBW in reply to Bluedrea]

Ah, I'm sorry you've realised you have been having sex around your fertile time but no success as yet. I completely understand how it feels to struggle and how devastating the arrival of a period is. Hopefully your GP will be really happy to do initial hormone blood tests and sperm analysis referral or if you're going private, even quicker 🙂 and fingers crossed the covid-19 pandemic is well under control within the next 6 months 🤞meanwhile, we all wait 😔 xx

[Bluedrea in reply to LizzieBW]

Till I get appointments from GP, I am planning to TTC.. Please pray for me and give me any suggestions which can help me through the journey.I am desparatde to try anything.. Xx

[LizzieBW in reply to Bluedrea]

Oh Bluedrea, I wish I had the answers for you. My Husband and I have been trying unsuccessfully for 4 years 3 months now...and counting. We know the chances of a natural conception now are slim but we will hope and continue to try. We were due to start our first cycle of IVF this month but Covid-19 stopped it. Other than ensuring you are using folic acid, I don't have any specific advice but wishing you loads of luck xx

[Bluedrea in reply to LizzieBW]

Oh I know your struggle and pain now..yeah m taking folic acid. Hoping for the best xx