Ladies I am not having a good mental health day, it could be because AF is soon to be showing her face, but I am not dealing with not proceeding with our treatment, and the uncertainty of the future and fertility treatment.
I was meant to start down reg on Sunday (Mothers Day), and our clinic could only offer us a freeze all cycle because of COVID 19. This wont work for us, we never have anything to freeze. They said when 'its calmed down, call up and we can tell you when we are doing fresh transfers'. When will this be?
This time was meant to be our best shot. My husband is going to have a fresh surgical sperm retrieval (Costing 2k) on the day of egg collection, we have already paid for, and have spent the last 3 months getting his swimmers to be as top notch as can be.
I cant cope without a plan, I need a date to work towards I need a focus. We had said what if we plan for starting meds in June for a transfer in July...surely this should be ok...but will it?
We need 12 weeks to prepare for my husbands retrieval, no alcohol or caffeine lots of supplements, healthy eating. Do we stick with our health kick in the hope we can start in June, putting our lives on hold for 4 more months, or will it be 6 or 12?
Do we revert back to a semi normal life and try to forget about IVF until we are out the other side, but then we would then have to wait 3 months before starting treatment to know that we have done what we can for my husbands sperm retreival. Do we keep spending £100's a month on supplements in hope? I am lost in what we do, please help, what would you do....or what ARE you doing? Lots of love xx
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Italy300618
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So sorry to hear about your challenges, this being out of control is awful isn't it.
We are in a similar position but waiting to start round 5 which will be our last round. We have decided we will have a couple of weeks blowout, eating what we want, drinking far too much, and generally commiserating about IVF, lockdown etc, and then get back onto the healthy living. I think we all deserve to let rip a bit we have all been so upset and disappointed recently... but I know as a couple we need to put an end date on that 'treat' time.. otherwise we will be drunk through to October!!
Sending you a huge hug, I have been really down the last couple of days too, its tough but we will get through it xx
I think that is a good call, its my birthday coming up too, it would be nice to enjoy a drink and lots of cake, and commiserate...a lot!! Perhaps a few weeks, and then back on the health train. Thank you for sharing, and I am sorry you are going through this too, big hugs back to you, its nice to know I am not alone xxx
So sorry your not having a good day. Likely impending AF will not be helping
I can’t tell you what you should do obviously but I was thinking similar yesterday- approx £100 a month for us both to have all the vitamins we’ve been taking and we took them for 6 months (or will have been by end April) to be super sure we’d done our best! Healthy eating really has gone out of the window with everything the last week or so as it’s more about eating what we have rather the options!
Obv time is an issue with all of us as she is only going up which isn’t a helpful thought
I haven’t called my clinic because if they offered a freeze all cycle we would be in the same boat. Only ever had one blast each cycle and I don’t think they were good enough to have frozen. Pretty sure they only put it back each time because it was all we had!
MH is going to take a hit with all this and it’s horrendous feeling like your on your own. Just remember your not! I also need to take this advice sometimes as it doesn’t always feel that way
Always here to message privately or otherwise
We all need some form of control and at the moment working from home is the only thing I can control and that’s grim xx
Thank you for your lovely reply. I am sorry you are also going through this. You are right, its not like we can get lots of lovely fresh veg in at the moment, its eat what you have!
The freeze all situation wouldnt work for a lot of us ladies, but now I dont think they are continuing with treatment full stop after 30th March. Thank you for your support, sometimes it feels like I am alone in this, but I only have to come on here to know I am not, it is heartbreaking for us all.
I have really tried over the last 6 months to develop some coping mechanisms, as I am not great dealing with stress and anxiety, I really felt like I had turned a corner, but once this virus stuff sorted it went through the roof, so I know even if I was able to I couldn’t go through it in these circumstances.
Please know I am also here for you if you need it, we can talk it out and remind ourselves that we will get through it! xx
Same - I felt like I had turned a bit of a corner with anxiety now we knew we were moving toward some kind of plan. I feel a little like because I’m working from home it’s giving me less time to think but it’s the unknown I struggle with too. Once it all goes back to “normal” it will be mayhem at clinics as everyone will want things ASAP and rightly so
It will be mayhem at clinics. They will have to come up with a way of how to prioritise people that have perhaps been waiting longer or something? Diane had just put on a video for support, which I think is a nice idea, havent watched it yet . Big hugs to you xxx
I'm struggling not having a plan too! Usually that's what keeps me sane but no joy. I think I've resigned myself that I'll have to wait until things settle down and although we dont know when that is at least we can have the money there to get going. I felt like you did last weekend, with the disappointment and hormones raging I was a mess but I do honestly feel a little better this week!xxx
Sorry you're struggling too Cinderella! Some days are worse than others arent they, I am glad youre feeling better after the weekend, I am sure I will shake it off, just a bad day xx
Hi pet , if it was me , I would hit pause for two weeks. Both of you relax and enjoy food and wine etc . Then plan the next 12 weeks with online fitness , dance class etc and your current thing to get ready for 12 weeks time.
There is no answer for a date . Just do what you can to stay healthy and virus free.
It is ok to have off days. I’m not feeling too great myself having had my down reg two weeks ago , followed by 8 days of stims ..... now everything is cancelled .
Get confirmation of your plan from your clinic .
Then take charge of what you CAN.
I’m having a spa day later . Hot bubble bath , prosecco , face mask , body moisturise from head to toe. Nice music 🎶 candles . If I can’t go to the spa..... the spa will come to me.
Make good use of your once out of the house for a walk or run .
Google some new recipes for ingredients you have in the cupboard . Bake scones or something ? Even make pasta ??? Flour and water ?
Make your meal plan for the next five weeks, then a shopping list etc .
Thank you hun, that really has helped me an awful lot. Having a bad day today! I like the idea of 2 weeks and then a 12 week hit the ground running plan, thank you for all the ideas. I love cooking so I will try and be more creative, and I have just ordered a couple of fitness dvds!
I am sorry you are also going through this my love, I hope you are ok, sending a big hug to you, and enjoy your spa day, that sounds heavenly, I may plan that in for myself! Take care xxx
I’m so sorry you’re struggling today. I fully understand.
I know I’m in the 2ww so please don’t think I’m insensitive in writing this but I’m pretty certain it’s not worked this time so we’ll be getting our BFN on OTD. With that in mind I’ve been thinking long and hard about what to do as well - we too have been super healthy for months and I dong know if I can (want?) to continue doing it indefinitely.
I know some will say that we should carry on anyway as it’s obviously good for us but like you, the expensive supplements, ZERO booze (I like my wine so this is tough!), expensive holistic treatments & fertility massages etc is difficult to continue with indefinitely...
So, my plan atm is to have a week (or maybe 2) off - drink the wine, stop the pricey supplements and turn off from ivf for that week. Then get back on it again, ready to stick it out for the long haul. If I have the occasional wobble after that then so be it - I’ll aim for a 95% ‘being good’ ratio.
Thanks Jo for your reply. I dont think you are insensitive at all. No matter where we are in treatment its affecting all of us. I am sorry you feel this time hasnt worked for you, theres still hope, keep the faith my love!
You are right, this style of living and cost of it all is very difficult to keep up and perhaps indefinitely. I am totally with you on your plan (that is if you have to...you dont know yet!! fingers crossed) A couple of weeks restbite, turn off from IVF eat and drink what we want (we like our wine too), and then get back onto the plan as we always do. I have done it twice before so whats the difference now, it will happen again, and the break will do us good. What a crazy world we are living in, lots of love xxxx
So sorry you’re feeling like this at the moment! I totally understand as I also like to have a plan in place and the uncertainty around timescales now have sent my head into a spin!! I was also due to start my treatment this week and for the first time in ages I was feeling really mentally and physically ready. It’s a horrible feeling to be so prepared and close to starting and then have it taken away.
I agree with what the other ladies have said. Take a couple of weeks out to enjoy yourself. Enjoying all the things I have given so many times during this process is helping me to get through this. Even if just for 2 weeks, it will help you to try and relax a little. Then you may hopefully be in a better frame of mind and can focus on getting back into your health kick. I normally find after a bit of a blow out I’m ready for a good health kick again xx
I am sorry lovely that you are going through this too, sorry you couldnt start treatment either! I am sorry for moaning, I know that a lot of people are clearly feeling the same. I do actually feel with this lock down thing that I feel quite cut off from a support network with regards to friends and family, and I just wanted to seek some advice on here. Sounds like us ladies will all be doing the same then these next 2 weeks, I agree what you all say, it will help to relax us all a little bit, I was the same at xmas, and then after a while you feel ready to get back on the health train.
Oh you’re not moaning at all, please don’t think that. You’re letting your feelings out which I think is a really important thing to do, so please don’t apologise ☺️. That’s the purpose of this forum, to speak with other people going through the same situation and who you know can truly sympathise and understand your feelings of disappointment and frustration. Fertility treatment is a difficult enough process to go through without the added stress and uncertainty now thrown at us from Covid-19. I totally agree, we are more cut of then ever now not being able to see our friends and family so it’s more important than ever for us to connect and get support from each other on here. Sometimes you’ve just got to have a rant and let it out, definitely don’t bottle it up.
Yes I think the sales of alcohol will have increased (or at least definitely in my local supermarket 😉😁). Sending you lots of love and hugs 🤗😘 xxx
Hi love. Sorry to hear you're in this situation and going through this. IVF is a mental nightmare without all this. After my third cycle (which was a failure and I didn't have a plan yet going forward) I think me and my husband had a month or so of "blowout" before getting a bit more serious with our diets and returning to normality. I would take some time to let your hair down and have a bit of fun (which I imagine can only extend to drinking in your own living room or garden if you have one). Then maybe when we know a bit more how this coronavirus thing is going to pan out to get back to seriousness again. You can't spend your time now physically in lockdown AND mentally in lockdown. Sorry - not having a plan is the worst. Really hard to deal with. Sending lots of love. x
Thank you for your kind reply. I totally agree, there can be too much lock down for my liking, and no good for me at all! A bit of restbite will do me good I'm sure. Good luck for OTD, will be thinking of you! x
Reading your post and all the lovely replies has really helped me today. I completely agree that the lack of control around this whole process is one of the hardest things. Anything you can do to feel like you are managing how and when you want will help.
I started the down reg for the first time on Saturday. I went through the NHS so it's taken 2 years of tests and one of my tubes being removed and now only had 3 follicles at the last scan. Got told today to stop the injections as very unlikely there will be any eggs or embryos to freeze. I'm totally gutted and it's really hit home that I may have missed my chance to have a child using my eggs.
I think the suggestions to have a break from the healthy living is a great one. Enjoy a gig and tonic, treat yourself to any nice food you can get hold of and then set a date to get back to working towards the next round.
Also it's OK to be sad and frustrated through this. Pick a film that will make you sob your heart out and feel all those emotions. Then you can pick yourself up the next day.
Thank you for your lovely reply! I'm so sorry that you're treatment has now been cancelled my heart goes out to you 💗💗
I am glad reading this has helped a little bit. The lack of control is insane! Have you seen Diane put up a video from a fertility counsellor that was very helpful.
I think it sounds like we could all do with a little TLC and break for a couple of weeks doesn't it. Thanks for your support, my best friend has been nominated existent I dont know what I would do with you ladies. Thanks again, and take care of yourself too, big hugs xxx
Oh my goodness I absolutely feel your pain as was meant to be starting this month. As if IVF isn’t stressful enough 🙈. I have been so upset then I watch the news & think at least me & my family have our health (so far) 🤞🏼
I intend hitting the Gin this weekend but through week still trying to be fairly healthy with daily workouts.
Don’t stress too much about the supplements. The only round of IVF that worked for me in the last 6 years was the one I was only taking folic acid & vitamin d as I had no idea about all the ones am now aware of. I do now take ubiquinol but nothing else as I had my worst round ever when taking DHEA.
I am very very blessed as I have a 4 year old, first round worked as I mentioned. Unfortunately his sibling is taking slightly longer than I had hoped. Very grateful for what I have though.
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