Near the breaking point

[Stellacookie]

Hi. I’ve never posted here before. I’m really struggling today. Maybe it’s the hormones or the stress. I’m day 6 into my third cycle of IVF/ICSI due to male factor. I can’t remember the last time I felt like myself. I’m exhausted. I’m moody. I feel like my career is falling apart because my brain just feels so fuzzy. My relationship is suffering. My BFN last time left me feeling so depressed and I’m afraid it will happen again. On top of it all, I don’t feel like I have anyone in my life who understands how hard this is 🙁 We want a baby but it feels so difficult to hope and be positive and I feeling like I’m nearing the breaking point

[Tigr]

This is such a difficult and stressful time and it probably is a mixture of everything you said. The hormones are making us crazy and it is just emotionally draining to go through this process. Especially the 2ww is hard. You will get through this though, your hormones will settle down, you hopefully get a positive result and in the end it will all be worth it. Consider fertility councelling, especially if your partner and you are not on the same page and if you are stressed by previous results. You could use his support in those difficult times. If you feel like people around you won't understand (they possibly really don't if they have not had similar experiences), maybe it would be good to find someone in a similar stage to chat to sometimes? Maybe there is a support group nearby? Everybody here has more or less an idea of how it feels to go through all of this. Let this community be a support for you! 🌻 You will get through this. Hugs!

[Italy300618]

Hey lovely, so sorry to hear you are struggling, it sounds very similar to me, we arent long for starting round 3 due to male factor.

Its completely and utterly normal to feel this way due to what you have been through and going through. Everything suffers, your work, your relationship, your friendships and your sanity!!

I havent reached out to counselling, but if you feel like this may help you why not give it a go?

I'm running out of solutions tbh, I'm trying lots of mindful apps, to help keep me calm and help me sleep, I've tried talking to friends and family and sharing my feelings but it doesn't really help.

You cant help the negative thoughts, they will keep creeping in, but please have faith. Just try and keep positive between you, keep talking to each other, this really could be your time, it will happen and you will come out stronger.

You arent alone, here if you ever want to talk, sending you a big hug, and wishing you all the luck in the world for your cycle xxxxx

[ttcemmie]

Oh my lovely. It's probably the hormones AND the stress. I have completely lost myself and I'm exhausted, moody, have let my career go to the dogs, and I am probably not even keeping up friendships to the point I should! So I can totally recognise myself in this. Hopefully you have people that are supportive (even if, of course, they don't completely understand). We're here for you, anyway. xx

The main thing I've had to do for myself is to give myself ALOT of slack and to try and adjust to a new normal (which is: being less interested in my career, not keeping on top of the housework, and being moody - it's hard!!!). Also, you don't need to be positive all the time. Just be whatever you can be. Sending ALL my love. xxxx

[Progy7]

Have you considered counselling? Most people I know who have tried it have found it beneficial. I’m trying counselling myself next week. IVF is so stressful. A trained counsellor has seen it all before and can make you feel so much better.

[Sandy_Blake]

Babe I totally am in ur head space right now. It is the toughest fight for us women and like u feel like a being an emotional drain on all my friends who just cant understand or appreciate what I'm going through. Just remember u are not alone x

[Hartley1]

It's not easy and I can understand why you're feeling like that. We also had male factor. Having had BFNs it's only natural to feel like that...(no matter what anyone says abt being positive...day before OTD I was told off by my MIL as I was anxious abt testing having had spotting, the nurse at the clinic said to me my period maybe starting). However as long as there are times you are also feeling positive a few negatives are ok (I think). Consider yoga and acupuncture to help relax. Keep faith it will happen for you...I wasn't much of a believer but I starting praying. My answer was to also give up work for a bit...my career is suffering but once I took time out I realised this was more important to me. This is what I did...maybe think about these things but also counselling might be worth considering. I wish tge best for you and pray it happens for you too. Read it starts with an egg by Rebecca Fett...itll help focus your energy in what you can do. Good luck xxx

[L400ynd]

Oh my love. It’s so hard to read this. I feel for you. Yes you are right. No one knows how hard it is.

Hubs and I have decided our 3rd go is our last go. For much the same reasons. It’s so hard going emotionally and physically. My work was also suffering as well.

I hope and pray this go is the one for you. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions and be kind to yourself. You are going thru the mill.

Lots of love xxxxxxx

[Stellacookie]

Thanks for all your words. It really does help to hear from other women who are going through the same things. I’m not crazy! I wish I could step back from work but truth be told it’s a new job. And I’m under the microscope. My absences are being noticed. And because I’m still on probation, I’m reluctant to tell them I’m trying to get pregnant with IVF. On top of it all, because we started our treatment in Brussels (where it is free), we are continuing there, which means shuttling between there and London every other day right now. It just feels like a lot!

[JoP32]

So sorry to hear you’re struggling atm Stella. I think it’s probably a mixture of the hormones & stress of it all.

It’s great that you’ve reached out on here - there are so many wonderful ladies on here that are always ready to pick you up when you feel down or cheer you on when you reach an important milestone. And they (we) get it. We get how hard this journey is and what a roller coaster it is and that for me, has been so helpful - knowing that I’m not alone and that there are people that understand how I’m feeling (even if my ‘real life’ friends & family don't).

We’re all here for you and if you ever need a rant or a chat just shout! Some days are tougher than others but you’re strong - stronger than you know - and you’re not alone. We hear you, we understand and we stand with you.

You’ve got this! 👊👊👊 xxx