Hi everyone,
I found out last Thursday I was pregnant and it was all confirmed with the blood test.
Today I have had a miscarriage. My hcg level started going down and I started bleeding.
I don’t understand I keep questioning my self where did I go wrong?
I can’t explain the pain I am feeling in my heart. I feel so broken and shattered. I couldn’t believe I managed to get pregnant and now it’s all been taken away from me within a second.
I can’t do anything but cry.
Hi FertilityStruggle,
I’m so so sorry for your loss. I have been in your shoes and I know how much you are hurting right now, my heart is breaking for you 😢
Please know that you did nothing wrong. This was not your fault. You did everything right.
This is not the end of the road for you but let yourself hurt, give yourself and your body time. It’s ok to grieve for what you’ve lost. I promise you that you will get through this. Sending you the biggest hug in the world tonight xxxx
Hi kiboxx
I just keep questioning my self, why did this happen? If I managed to get pregnant why did it not work out? I don’t understand what was the reason.
I feel so broken today, after taking many medications for months today it has all stopped. It’s almost like I have lost a routine itself with my hope.
I really hope I can get thru this xx
It’s normal to ask yourself those questions. It feels so unfair, and you feel lost and that’s ok. I didn’t get out of bed for a week, I wasn’t sure I would ever get out of bed again but I did, and you will, just look after yourself and do whatever you need to do right now for you.
Sadly you will probably never know exactly why but they tell you when it happens early it’s normally something wrong with the baby but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. It also doesn’t mean it will happen to you again, it’s just shitty luck. But it wasn’t something you did wrong. It’s an awful thing that at happens to far more women then we realise and it’s good to talk about it.
People are going to say to you that it’s a good thing you fell pregnant and you’re going to want to tell them to fuck off but in time, that will be more of a comfort. They say you’re 10-20% more likely to have success with IVF after a failed pregnancy. Just a little piece of hope to help you through the dark. I’m always here if you need to talk ❤️ xxxx
That really does make me feel a little more hopeful. I hope it works for me the next time and I definitely want to use more eggs next time.
It sounds stupid but I just want to do another cycle as soon as possible because I just want a child. I just want to be a mother something some people have so easy in their life.
And same for you, I will always be here for you and everyone ❤️ xx
I completely understand that feeling. I rushed into my next cycle far too quickly because of that very reason but no one could have told me not to so I won’t say that to you either.
Do you have frozen embryos or will you be doing a fresh round?x
I don’t blame you as I feel like it’s what mentally we need to help up recover from our loss.
I had 8 frozen embryos in total. Now I have 7 left. We are planning to use two or even three next time as we have no problem even if we had twins. I just want to do 3 to increase the chances of getting pregnant and having a successful pregnancy. X
I would definitely have a chat with your doctor about that at your follow up, I’ve had double transfers in the past but only when it wasn’t the best quality and it was either put them in or lose them. I think if it’s frozen embryos they are always good quality so you’re very likely to have a successful pregnancy from one of those without needing to do multiples. I don’t know your age of course as I think that changes what they recommend!
Amazing that you have 7 frozen! I know you probably don’t feel very lucky right now but that’s a great number 💕 xx
I have a follow up appointment with them at the end of the month. All the embryos quality were good.
It’s strange because the one we used this time was the best quality one and this worries me a lot.
I actually never new 7 was a good number but I’m glad to know that now x
The best quality one on paper isn’t always the one that makes the baby. Embryo selection isn’t an exact science so don’t go thinking that’s your best chance gone! So many get their baby from their second or third rated embryo. They are all good and one of them will be your baby 💕 xxx
That is true, my sister had Ivf three times. And the third time it finally worked for her.
I hope the next one is my baby . I am still young but I don’t like people thinking just because I am young I should be patient or I have more chances. Sometimes the age doesn’t matter. Some people can be older and yet have more of a healthier body from inside then mine. x
That’s absolutely true, I’m sure there is nothing wrong with yours though 😘
The good thing about being young though is your egg quality is better so the chances of this happening again are very low xx
I really hope so!
Good luck to you too, I wish everything works out for you ❤️
And thank you for showing me so much kindness x
Thank you 😊 hugs xxx
You are so kind and amazing Kibo ♥️💫
♥️♥️♥️
How are you doing Littlepeax?xx
I'm ok thanks Kibo ♥️ good and bad days. Trying to keep positive xxx 💫
Hope pregnancy is going well for you. Bet you cant wait for your first scan, how amazing xxx
Glad to hear you’re doing ok. One day at a time ♥️
Excited and terrified. Hoping Thursday will bring a little piece of reassurance 🙏🏻 xx
Aww I bet the worrying never goes. But try and enjoy your moment 🥰 your doing so well.. let me know how your first scan goes xxx
Thank you, I will 💕 xx
Oh dear, I’m so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel, you must be just devastated, it’s heartbreaking. You will feel lonely at times, like none understands you unless they have experienced it. You’ll get angry. The wonderful women in this forum helped me a lot to got through it, although it will always be a pain for me, but it is getting a little better now, you need time. If you want to speak to someone you can send me a private message any time.
I just want to be locked in my room and be alone . The only thing that is getting me thru this is my husband. I feel so bad as if I have let him down but I know he doesn’t feel that way.
This was the first time ever I had gotten pregnant and now it’s all been taken away from me .
And thank you so much your message means a lot to me ❤️
Awww I understand what you feel right now. My husband was my rock and I was feeling bad for him too. Please don’t feel guilty, don’t blame yourself for what happened. I was so careful, I stayed in bed any time I could, thinking it would help. My Midwife said there are people who are alcohol and drug abusers and end up having a healthy baby and people who are super careful and have a miscarriage. I know it’s not fair. Most of the times it happens because of chromosomal abnormalities, so it happens for a reason. Your body knows what it’s doing. Take time to grieve the loss of your baby, cry, get angry, spend time alone to remember this short life that means so much to you. It will always mean the world to you, with time you will become positive again about your body and desire of becoming a mum. When I had my miscarriage I was devastated and my biggest worry was that I could never ever love another baby as much as the one I lost. That any other baby I would have would never be as beautiful. There will be lots of thoughts in your mind in the next coming months, it’s a rollercoaster. Some days I’m absolutely fine and some days I feel devastated and hate everyone. There are days I don’t even want to speak to my husband. Honestly, it will be a mixture of emotions. It’s all part of a process, you will then get much better with time, I promise. I’m sure you will get pregnant again and have a healthy baby.
My midwife said the same to me today. She said I see people come in for termination and some woman who are smoking and drinking while others who are so careful. It’s so strange but it’s all just part of life. It just makes me so sad why woman who want a child so badly and will sacrifice anything in their life for a child but it doesn’t happen.
I honestly just want to start my cycle again and try again. Me and my husband agreed next time we will put more eggs in. And we pray maybe this might change things a little bit.
I’m going to allow my body to get back to normal and then try again. I’m not going to give up until I get this 🤞🏼
I hope you get pregnant and have a beautiful healthy child too ❤️
Of course, never give up! You will read amazing successful stories on this forum! Just wait for your cycle and try again. I hope you have your rainbow baby soon!
Thank you so much and same for you! ❤️
♥️♥️♥️
So sorry to hear this. My heart is aching for you. You haven't done anything wrong; it's unfortunately out of your control. Allow yourself to cry in this time of grief; you've lost your baby. So cruel that it was taken away so swiftly. It's not fair. Lots of love and hugs, and we're all here for you. xxx
I have cried nonstop. The moment I found out I honestly cried like I have never cried before in my life. I know some people may think it was early stages so I can move past this but for me it almost feels like I am mourning for a child. This was my child even if it was just an embryo.
The worst part was when I went to A&E the lady said to me if your having a miscarriage then it’s a miscarriage nothing we can do go home. It made me so sad how unkind some people can be towards other people.
This is something I have been dealing with for years now and I finally thought I was getting it.
I understand what you're going through, and you are mourning for your child. It doesn't matter how "early" it was. That is sad how un-empathetic some people can be about miscarriages, but hopefully it will at least be better being at home than in A&E. Not that anything can make it "better", of course, but A&E is an awful place to be. You will get through this, but that's not something you need to worry about right now as you just need to take it step by step, day by day at this point.
I honestly didn’t even leave my room the whole day today. I just couldn’t get my self out of bed. Iv managed to get some days of work which will help. I’m so afraid to face people again. I don’t even know if I can ever be back to normal again. I’m usually a happy and jolly person but now I feel like I have lost that part of me.
Awww love. 
Take as long off work as you can/need. This is an awful awful time. Take all the time you need to be by yourself, to be in bed, whatever you need, whatever you can cope with.
Awh pet 😫🥺😢......... I can only imagine your heartache to finally see your positive and then for it all to disappear. 😢
It is just so unfair.......
Your poor heart 💔
Just cry ..... you did nothing wrong.
Sending hugs 💐💐💐💐
Thank you so much.
I really hope I can get thru this too.
Crying is all I have left at the moment.
I hope you get a better result then me and it all works out for you ❤️
You’ll get through it 😘but you just need to take a time out for the sake of your heart and your head. 💔😘💐
Grief is not something to get over in a day, definitely reach out for a counsellor when you feel ready .
One step at a time .😘💐
Take all the support there is out there before moving forward.
Praying peace and comfort over you this night 😢🙏🏻😘💐
I have an appointment for next week with a counsellor. I just don’t want to block everyone out but I have a feeling I probably will.. I am dreading going back to work.
It’s going to be one day at a time for now.. I am surrounded by lovely people which helps a lot. My husbands family is very supportive and so is my own which really helps.
Good luck with your results and stay positive ❤️ xx
You are NOT going to work!
Take two weeks off and see how you go.
You will need people to help you, but the right people. It’s a natural reaction. Your counsellor will help you find the best way to process and reflect this journey . Well done you 😘💐
Thanks pet 😘💐
I have taken a week off I will try to take another if they let me! Sadly it’s all unpaid but that doesn’t bother me right now.
Thank you so much you have been a great support from the beginning ❤️ x
Can’t you get sick leave????
I can but with us we can only have two sick leaves of episodes in a year. And each time it can only last up to 2 weeks. But iv been off work since Wednesday this week so I have a week and half left x
Poor pet. 😘
Hey
I’m so sorry for your loss.
As everyone has said there is nothing you did that caused it, unfortunately miscarriages are both cruel and don’t make sense. When I went through my MC I saw something that said you don’t just mourn for the baby you lost you mourn for the whole life ahead you thought you would have together and I think that summed it up, it doesn’t matter how far on you were ♥️.
It’s the saddest of times and my heart hurts for you, the only true healer I have found is time, but unfortunately it isn’t something you will ever make sense of. Thinking of you x
Hi MrsH86.
What you said really made me cry, you are right . What is hurting me more is I started planning my whole life.
I even made a list of all the things I was going to buy and all the things I was going to change in my room for this baby.
I made this baby my world in the space of a week and it hurts so bad.
I feel like I’m mourning for a child and for my future.
I know 😥 it’s so tough because you had planned for them in your life and they were so wanted.
It may not help now but I took some comfort in the fact that all my little baby would have known was love which is exactly the same for your little baby ♥️ x
I'm so so sorry to hear your news!💔 Unfortunately sometimes there is just no reason. It hurts like hell & it will take a while to even feel ok. It maybe doesn't feel like it but you will be ok, you will!! Hugsxx
Thank you so much.
Your kind message means a lot ❤️ x
You're so welcome! I know it doesnt take the pain away but the support here is second to none!! Lots of love.xxx
I'm so sorry hun that you are going through this.
It's shitty and difficult and you can't imagine ever getting through it, but you will.
Sending you big hugs, take care 💜
Thank you so much ❤️
Your message means a lot and makes me feel supported x
I am so fortunate and grateful to have stumbled across this support group.
We are all going through our individual struggles and it's great to have this endless support. Take care, I'm here if you need anything xx
I’m so sorry for your loss 💔. We have been there too and understand how confusing and absolutely devastating it is. Know you have done nothing wrong. It’s difficult not to question everything but unfortunately there are often no answers. I know it might not feel like it now but in time these feelings will start to ease. But right now it is important to allow yourself the time and space to heal and to mourn the loss not only of your baby but of all that could have been. I’m heartbroken for you lovely and hope that you have people you can talk to. But also know you are never alone, we are here for you. Big hugs xxx
So sorry to hear your news, thinking of you and sending you lots of love during this difficult time xxx
I know the feeling and i am so sry i had a miscariage 4 weeks ago at 5 weeks.it was my 3 ivf and my last i start seeing brown and then red and after 3 days of my blood test i miscariage its so sad 😞
The same has happened to me. Brown blood then red then one clot and it was all gone. Everything shattered.
I hope you are feeling better and I hope we both get thru this ❤️ x
I make 3 weeks crying for my loss but now i want to move on i can t keep crying bcause i not gonna do nothing.that s what happen to me all gone in a minute no pain nothing and then the blood was going down.now i m healing but still thing of it.
I understand how you feel.
Take your time to heal and I hope each day gets better for you x
Same to you xx hugs
Hey dear
Am so sorry about the loss
I just don't know what to say ......😔😔😔
Thank you so much. I guess there’s nothing anyone can say: it’s just one of the hardest things. When we think we are finally going to get it after years and it gets taken away is what hurts most. Xx
Really I hate god...
He gives privilege to
- those who have one night stand
-those who have extra marital affairs,
-those who hate kids...,
-those who throw kids in garbage after birth....
God gives all the fertility and blessing to these people .....and.....
look at us we are literally going through all possible meds n injection with the side effects mostly of stroke ,heart attack and ovarian n uterine cancer......risking our life's to have one kid .....
That also in the end negative bfn or
miscarriages.
Wohhh god you plan verrry welllllll....thank you praise the Lord amen✌️✌️✌️
Hi Sayusayme,
The only thing that gets me by each day is God.
I just feel like he has something planned and everyone has some sort of struggle in their life and having a child is my struggle.
I will keep fighting and he will give it to me one day.
Be strong and we can all get thru this❤️ x
Hi Sayusayme,
You’ve been through so much in such a short space of time and so I wonder if right now you need time and support to gradually heal. You’ve mentioned that you feel numb and sound broken hearted which is understandable, as life has a way of being cruel, but we have to believe that that’s not all life has to offer and that happiness has a place in our lives too. Perhaps take some time out to talk about your experiences and to start the process of feeling better. You need to be in a healthy place emotionally because you deserve to feel more than just empty. You offer so much strength, comfort and reassurance to others and so I hope you allow yourself to heal and to receive the same. x
Hi I’m so sorry this happened to you! I am in the same boat but I have had an extra week to heal a bit and all I can say is that it does get a little easier with each passing day to cope. It just seems so unjust to make it that far and then for it to be taken away doesn’t it? Please take care of yourself mentality and physically and lean on others. After the sadness I had anger (still there a bit) at the world! Try not to be hard on yourself though. Sending you big hugs and feel free to PM me if you like, especially about the physical side of the miscarriage as I didn’t know who to discuss what was going on in my body with and I really wish I had done xxx
Hi Twiglet2
Thank you so much, I will definitely take your advice. It does seem so unfair to go thru injections, medications and then finally get pregnant and have it all taken away.
I will take some time to heal and try and move on but at this stage it just seems so hard. I will definitely message you as I was a little concerned too
Thank you x
Lots of hugs xx
I am so sorry, the same happened to me in early January this year , it's not fair is it I know how your feeling, after the crying and hurting the angry kicks in , then for me I use to feel bitter which I hate the most.
But now in February I am going again at the end of the month, I never thought I was going to do it again this is my 6 th attempt
But you're get the strength to pull through
Time is a healer for sure. Stay strong hold in there .😘😘😘😘
Hi Angels2us
You are absolutely right! I’m most afraid of becoming bitter, I want to be happy for other people and not feel jealous! It’s hard sometimes as i want what other people have.
Oh that’s amazing honestly good luck with your new cycle! I hope by March I can start my cycle too.
You stay strong too ❤️ xx
Hi,
I had an identical experience.
After trying for 4 years, one failed round of IVF, I found out I was pregnant on the 10th January. On the 16th January (exactly 6 weeks pregnant) I had a miscarriage.
I just wanted to share as I know nothing can heal the pain. But to know that others are having the same experience made it somehow easier in terms of not blaming myself so much.
It’s out of our hands.
The other way I looked at it was that if my body rejected it then there was a serious problem with the embryo and So it’s for the best. Just have to trust Mother Nature.
Apart from that time is the only healer.
My heart goes out to you it honestly does ❤️xxxx
Hi Pagey81,
I’m so sorry you had to experience such pain and loss. I wish your next cycle works for you!
You are right, it does make me feel better that at least it worked but then sad that it didn’t work out.. I wish the next time it works out for both of us ❤️
The pain is the worst and the future I planned which I regret as I shouldn’t have let my self get to excited.
Thank you for being so long 😘xx
Thank you ❤️
Let’s keep strong, positive, and thankful for all we have. And as everyone says relax. (So hard though)
The mind is so strong, so focus on what we want for the future. Not what we don’t want.
If one thing infertility has taught me it is take nothing for granted and appreciate everything.
Here if you need 🙂
I hope too that you are successful and it works out, baby dust and love xxxx
Sending you hugs ❤️
It hurts so bad.. It's ok to grieve and you should embrace everything you feel because they are all valid feelings. Be prepared to feel better and then sometimes the sadness hits you all over again, it's a rollercoaster.
But through it all lean on your loved ones for support, remember you are strong and will pull through.
As others have said you definitely didn't do anything wrong!
Sending you love and positive vibes.
Hi Alidees,
I have finally understood, it is okay for me to cry, to feel sad and feel miserable. I guess I have to take each day as it comes.
Having my husband around really does help as his very supportive. I just keep reminding my self that if it worked this time it will work again and it will all work out 🤞🏼
Thank you for being so kind ❤️xx
I am so sorry for your loss. This has happened to me one year ago. I know the horrible feeling... I felt like I couldn't get out from home 'cause I didn't want to see any children or pregnant women at the streets... I lost after one week of my BFP.
Today I am 13 weeks pregnant of a healthy girl. Things that I have learned:
- PGS testing. Most likely the loss I had was due to a non viable embryo. Afterwards, I only transferred tested embryos. You still have chances of implantation failures, but once it sticks, it's likely to be a successfull pregnancy.
- High graded embryos may have better chances. But I had a loss with a 5BA blasto and never got pregnant with good ones. Statistics. My pregnancy is from either a 5CC or 5BC. Transferred 2 viable embryos, got pregnant of one.
- Need to be persistent. Failures are more common than successfull stories. But eventually you will succeed.
- Get emotional help from professionals or family/husband. Practice exercises. Enjoy your husband. After crying a lot, book a table at a good restaurant. Drink a good wine, make plans, be grateful for being alive and for having the oportunity to go through treatments.
Good luck! You will get pregnant again and will have your baby with you!
Hi Catwerner,
Thank you for such a nice message.
My husband did say let’s go out for dinner today but I can’t seem to get my self out of bed for some reason. I just don’t want to see anyone at all. I’m happy to stay in bed but he thinks it’s unhealthy which is true but I just need some time.
Recently when I have seen kids it makes me so emotional and now it’s only going to get worse!
I’m so happy for you congratulations! I hope you have a healthy and beautiful little girl! And the rest of your pregnancy is easy x
I really hope it works for me the next time, me and my husband decided to use more embryos next time maybe 2 as I really want to increase the chances. I wish I had done two this time too but it’s okay:
It’s just frustrating as I was 4 weeks pregnant and assumed the embryo did stick but I just don’t know what went wrong sadly.
Thank you again your message was really sweet and encouraging ❤️x
It is very likely that your embryo was an abnormal one, not viable. This is the cause for 80% of the early pregnancy miscarriages. That is why I ended up testing them.
It also took me few days to go out for dinner, but we had a trip together.
But what I did was to cry a lot, with him by my side and we both drunk a beer together to get over this.
I will say again... You are not alone, at least vou know your body works and you don't need these extra tests for implantation (ERA). It will work for you!
Hi Fertilitystruggle.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I truly hope the future is kinda to you and that unimaginable happiness is to come. Take all the time you need. Mourn, heal and know that things change in the blink of an eye. Good things happen just as quickly and unexpectedly as sad things. Big hugs...x
Hi Tiddly1984,
Thank you so much for your kind words.
I hope the future brings me more luck and a child!
I really have to take my time and each day as it comes to accept this and try move from this. Hope time heals me but for now I just need a good cry. I hope you get a happy ending too x
❤️
Hello! So sorry for your loss. My wife and I just lost our son at 18 weeks. I hope you can get through this. It’s hard not to blame yourself but this things just happen. Hang in there. We’re taking a break and getting back to it at a later time. Time heals all wounds. Take care.
Hi Twomomsttc,
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I know it’s really difficult. I’m trying to get through this slowly but it’s become really difficult.
I hope things work out for you and your wife and you have healthy child soon.
Thank you for your kind message.
Thank you so much, I hope you get your rainbow baby soon! Take care of yourself.
So sorry for your loss. It is a big loss of future dreams and plans and the perfect t family we all so deserve. It’s anger and bitterness and sadness and feeling cheated. It’s the big massive why? Why did this happen to me and I know. I thing can reassure your pain but after 6 miscarriages and one healthy beautiful boy I can tell you only my story and what I think. Healthy babies are usually born against all odds and unhealthy babies are not. Your body protects you and Mother Nature is fierce. The good news is you can get pregnant. Take a deep breath, cry and grieve and take the time you need. Xxxxx
Hi Corchi,
I’m so sorry to hear about your 6 miscarriages but congratulations on your beautiful baby boy. You really have been through a lot to get your beautiful boy.
I’m trying every day but what hurts is the loss of future. Everything else I can deal with but it’s killing me each day slowly and makes me feel like what if it never happens then? I know everyone says stay strong and it will but it’s not easy to be strong.
Thank you so much for your kind message xx
I know sweety it’s not easy and so many people will tell you things to make you feel better and reassure you but I know exactly what your feeling and the fear at what if? No one can answer you that and when people used to tell me it will happen I knew they meant well but it would anger me because heck no one really knows except the man up there 👆 so all I can say from my very personal horrific story (and it was horrific with 4 chemical and 2 at 3 months old) is to keep persevering but know that all we can really do is do our best. I was also terrified as I was older and I really didn’t have time on my side ( I eventually gave birth at 37-38 and now at 40 trying again to give my son a sibling but so far failing (again!) we pick ourselves up and go again. God only knows where we get so much strength but we do and you will. You can do this and you will be ok. Xxx
I have many years ahead of me but it just scares me to death what if I keep trying and it never happens?
But then my faith in god is strong and I believe he will bless me one day and this is all just my test. But then some days I get so drained out and sad and then it all builds up at the end.
You have had a very painful experience and you are so brave and truly I am so happy for you! My own sister tried 3-4 time’s and it just wouldn’t work and now she has twin sons and she’s so happy. She was getting nervous too as she was getting older and the chances decrease.
They say God only tests those he knows can handle it. This is our test and soon he will see I have been patient and I didn’t lose my faith in him and he will bless me very soon.
Thank you for such a beautiful message you really have encourage me. I hope you have another child very soon xx
Thank you so much fertilitystruggle 🙏🏼 I wish you all the best 💕💕
Omg so so sorry it really does Rio your heart in two when this happens it happened to me 3 years ago and I was devastated and felt empty !!! The miscarriage part was also bad as I lost a lot of blood but the good news is you can try again straight away and I got caught 3 months after and now have a very energetic 2 year old there is nothing that you did wrong it just wasn’t meant to be but there is still loads of hope good luck xxxxxx
Hi Donba,
It really does rip your heart and makes you question your whole life and future.
I’m so happy you have your own beautiful family and hope I can have that one day.
Thank you for your message ❤️x
Oh love I am so sorry to hear you're having to experience this heartbreak. Its absolutely awful I know and I wouldnt wish it upon anybody. Take some time for yourself, I always found it easier the busier I kept myself which is easier said than done. Just know you are not alone and there is always support at hand if you need it even if its through sites like these ❤❤ sending all my love xxxx
Hi Bmw12,
Thank you so much for your kind words.
I think each day will make it easier but for some reason it’s only getting harder. I’m really trying my best but it doesn’t seem to get easier. I’m trying to keep my self busy but for some reason I can’t seem to get my self out of my room.
Thank you again ❤️xx
I did find it got worse before better also. It's a group that nobody wants to join but honestly, there is so much support within those groups lovely 💕💕❤
I’m just struggling to even leave my room. My husband has asked me plenty of times to try and leave the house but I just can’t. Sadly I’m back to work on Wednesday but maybe that will help me to stay busy and a little distracted.
But at the moment it just doesn’t seem to get better. If by next week i don’t feel better I might just try get help. ❤️
Never be worried about seaking help. My first miscarriage I forced myself onwards and I thought I had dealt with it and cone to terms with it, then i lost my son at 19 weeks and it was brutal. I was genuinely ready to end it all. I had had enough and no longer wanted to exist. I ended up in antidepressants and I just started myself from scratch. I put myself on a "diet" nit for weight loss but to make myself eat. Started monitoring what I was drinking. I went and did anything I thought would distract me. Decorated the living room, bought jigsaws, books a nintendo wii and started doing the wii sports, had my hair done forced myself to do my makeup and shower and got a new job and then one day - I dont know the exact day, I woke up and it felt less bleak than the day before. It was awful and theist trying time of my life and that pain will always be a part of people like us but it will get better. Slowly. Just know you have so many people that are sending their love to you xxx
Im sorry you have had to go thru so much! I just wish none of us ever had to go thru anything like this! I wish we could all just get a child happily without so much pain and sorrow
Sometimes we get so low before we can finally pick our self up. But these low times will always be a reminder of how bad things were but we were strong enough to get back up again!
I’m proud of how far you have come and your willingness to get thru the bad times ❤️ xx
Miscarriage
Miscarriage after IVF
miscarriage :(
recurrent miscarriage 
