Hi lovelies, today was probably the worst day of the journey so far because the hope has faded. Egg collection on Friday, had got 23. Call on Saturday to say 19 had fertilised. Obviously we knew the risks and possibilities it wouldn’t work but day 3 call and more or less told end of the road as abnormal or not developing as should. Wish i had written it down as I was just gutted. They said they will ring back Wednesday but my gut feeling is that nothing short of a miracle this cycle is out. It was our first ivf. Male factor fertility.
Guess we’ll know more once we meet consultation to review in due course but feeling so lost and hopeless.
Hope anyone in same boat Has better journey with their embryos this week xx
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Bing84
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Thank you runuphill for your kind comforting words. This group is the only thing keeping me sane at the moment. I don’t want to get my hopes anymore for day 5. Just going to get it out of my system tonight Then dust myself off and plan for next steps. Thank you for reading this x
I’m so sorry you had to go through that phone call, I’m sure it was a blur of emotions. Like runuphill said, really hope you have some late developers there as they said they will call again on Wednesday.
You can also ring the clinic back if you feel like you want any clarity on what was said and where you stand today, I know I’m useless in these situations, my emotions take over and I only hear the negatives. Sending you a big hug x
Thanks kibo for your comforting words. I never even thought to call them back, I’m all over the shop. Will get husband to take call next. Hope this is our rock bottom so we can only go up from here with our next go. X
Oh my goodness! My heart is absolutely breaking for you both!! When we started out in this shit journey we had a disaster 1st cycle. Our embryos fertilised (our issue was male factor too) but I was older so a lot less numbers wise. Getting this call is horrific on every level. However we did another 2 cycles and the same thing ddint happen. Mine came down to egg issues as usually when most arrest my day 3 it is an egg thing (from day 3 to 4 sperm causes the arrest). I firmly believe our hospital got our protocol wrong first time as even with my old eggs we got a few 5 day blastocysts on the next 2 cycles.....and they changed my drug protocol. Anyhoo the point of my message is I know you must be so heartbroken and completely understand hownit feels but every cycle is different. Sending massive hugs & love!xxx
Thank you Cinderella for sharing your experience. Annoyed at myself for not doing more research and being equipped with more knowledge so I could have prepped myself Better for such a negative outcome. Feel clinic could have equipped us better.
Funny you say that about egg. I was told last week that they would not do fresh transfer due to risk of OHSS. Again not prepped us that this could be a scenario so had to change trigger. Just wish we had some answers.
Just trying to focus on staying strong to give it another go.
Thanks For checking in xx glad to know I am not on my own.
Its absolute hell, nobody prepares is for this outcome. I certainly had no idea either....not that I'm suggesting clinics should put a damper on things but it would be good to know this could happen. Hopefully they'll be able to tweak things for next time. Meantime be kind to yourselves!xxx
Oh, sweetheart, this post almost brought me to tears because I had this exact experience in December. First cycle, 23 eggs collected, 15 fertilized normally, all had deteriorated by day 2/3, nothing progressed normally so nothing to freeze or transfer 😔 I truly feel your pain, especially after having had such positive egg collection and fertilization results.
When this happened to us, we had a very long debrief with the clinic, which made us feel slightly better. They told us not to lose hope and they are tweaking our protocol next time, as in my situation they think the stimulation drugs could have affected my egg quality. Unfortunately, they will have no clear answers until we see how the next cycle goes. Sending love and empathy, and please reach out if you want to talk more ❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry that you had such a crushing call today. We have also been there on past cycles so understand how devastating it is when things deteriorate, especially after earlier stages have gone so well. Really hoping that there’s a little fighter in there for you that keeps developing. I have seen many women on here who have had success against the odds with poorer quality embryos, so that’s what I try to hold on to. Sending big hugs xxx
So sorry to hear this. You must be devastated and we're all here for you and are thinking of you. I am keeping the hope alive for you, though, and I am hoping you have some fighters and get some good news on Wednesday. Hugs and love. xxx
My first cycle also ended it a similar way, and you are just so not prepared for this outcome. I was forward thinking estimated due dates, childcare the lot. Talk about crushing when I didn’t even get a chance to transfer.
My doctor also said this was like a research cycle which didn’t please me at all given it took all my savings. However despite the shock and emotional rollercoaster, keep going, your time will come.
Thank you Charlie. Whilst I am sorry you have had to go through this too, it is somewhat comforting to know I am not alone and it does happen. I agree that is disappointing what the consultant said. Likewise have paid privately and will be difficult to self fund next one.
But I guess The longer the journey goes on for, surely the closer we are getting. Just wish we had a crystal ball!
Wishing you all the best with your journey zx
So sorry to hear this - did they tell you why they didnt do a day 3 transfer? I have had a transfer as early as day 2 if they weren't looking great just to get them back in.
Hi daisy thanks for sharing your experience. Because of high risk of OHSS, they always were going to freeze them. Was gutted last week as not able to have fresh transfer so just one disappointment after another! But just need to think positive and keep going xx
Oh gosh what a horrible horrible time you are having, I am so sorry you are going through this. I really hope there's at least one terror in there that keeps going and you get to do a transfer.
Its no help now but in my experience every round is so different, it will take you time to come to terms with what's happened but don't lose hope completely as next time is a whole new start xx
Thanks daisy for your supportive words. I cannot begin to tell you what enormous strength that I have drawn from this group. You are all my rock.
I am not going to let this cycle define our journey and already starting to focus on next time. Wishing you all the best in your continued journeys wherever it may be xx
Hi Bing, I’m so sorry you had a horrendous update call. I’m not sure anything can really help you prepare for the curveballs IVF and infertility throw at you, if you keep your expectations low it doesn’t hurt any less when things don’t work out 😢 I agree with the suggestions above (long follow up with consultant, take someone to write notes, 1st cycle is an experiment to see what works best for your body and situation). I’m sure when you’re ready to try again the clinic will be able to tweak your protocol to see if they can get you a different outcome. Xx
Hi Bing, i’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this, it’s completely crushing and heartbreaking to receive that phonecall. We’re never fully prepared for the journey that IVF takes us on. These forums are so helpful in reassuring you that you’re definately not alone!
Very similar to my first cycle in Oct, 19 eggs collected all fertilized except 4 abnormal straight away. The other 15 never made it past day 2/3. I was at high risk of OHSS so they were to be frozen anyway but none made it to that point. From numerous consultations we’ve come to the conclusion that the stimulant meriofert was too high for me and may have impacted the quality of my eggs. Although the main reason we’re going on this journey is down to male fertility issues (or so we believe at this point).
I’m about to start my 2nd cycle next week but ICSI this time on a lower dosage but we’re filled with fear that it may happen again. The only thing we can do is push through it and keep going. There are so many wonderful stories on here of hope. You just need to keep positive and believe it will happen.
Sending you tons of well wishes, take care of yourself Xx
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Arrest day 3 - embryo stop developing
No day 2/3 progress call for embryos? Straight to day 5? 
Inappropriate call
UPDATE: day 3 embryo + day 5 blast
Embryo Transfer Done & Now...2WW
