Next step - sensitive issue 😔

[MissJos]

It’s been a while since i’ve been on here. Life’s been a bit of a rollercoaster since our failed FET in June. Emotions everywhere, work stress, relationships stress all resulted in me having to take time off work to sort my head and heart out.

Started counselling with my partner in September-which was brill. But I just couldn’t cope with work. So was signed off mid October. It was such a relief for me. A few weeks of crying, talking, and relaxing and I was starting to feel positive and excited about doing another FET in January (2 blastocyst left). Then on 9th December I found out i was pregnant. Naturally. I was absolutely shocked but also totally over the moon! We weren’t trying at all! And In the 4 yrs of trying, I have never been pregnant. It was a miracle. It didn’t last long....we lost the pregnancy at 8weeks and it broke me.

I have not been back to work since October and i’m now due to go back next Tuesday (3rd). I still feel emotionally drained following miscarriage, but I’m also very anxious about work. I hate my job, it’s very stressful and i truly believe that i got pregnant because I wasn’t in work. My plan is to resign but I can’t until July. So i have to go back really 😔

But when? Everyone keeps telling me that i’m most fertile after miscarriage which makes going to work, and becoming embroiled in that environment really daunting and i’m fearful that it’ll have a detrimental effect on our chances. I’m probably overthinking everything....typical me!!

Also, I have 2 embryos waiting for me if i want a FET too.

I’m 39 in a week. I’m really unsure what to do. Go back to work and keep trying naturally, stay off a bit more and keep trying. Resign now (partner is fully supportive of this idea). Do FET now or wait.....🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

I realise i’ve just hard verbal diarrhoea here as well....apologies about this 😫. My mind is so busy and i’m so scared of making the wrong decision.

Any advice would be really really appreciated 💗

Thank you soo much.😘

[ttcemmie]

Hi lovely. Sorry to hear everything you've been through. I feel similarly. I want to quit, but can't really do so until after March, and even then really shouldn't financially (although hubby is supportive of whatever I do). I had a month off in November because I was struggling, and also I took two weeks after a miscarriage (really wish I'd took longer). I also worry that stress of work caused the miscarriage and is stopping us getting pregnant, but the clinic has said it would have to be a ridiculously stressful situation and not just general work stress to impact TTC. If you feel you need longer off, then only you know that, and don't worry about work. Or if you can go back to work, still try not to worry about work. I'm just doing a terrible job at work, and having to live with myself on that! Would your work make any adaptations for you - reduced hours, working from home more, flexible arrangements etc. After such a long time off they should help ease you back in to the work place. Saying that, though, obviously the TTC journey is the most important to you right now, as well as your head space, so do whatever you need to and whatever you think is best.

[MissJos in reply to ttcemmie]

Thanks so much for your reply and you're totally right. TTC is my priority, and I'm convinced that stress is my biggest challenge. I'm having a chat with the Dr. today so see what they say about a having another week or so.

I'm so sorry to hear that you are having a hard time too. It's such a rollercoaster of a ride - nobody warns you about all this and how hard TTC actually is!! Don't beat yourself up about doing a terrible job at work. You are there, and present and they cannot take that away from you. We'll get there eh?! Wishing you all the strength, luck and positivity in the world. WE CAN SO DO THIS.....

Take care. XXX