No heartbeat

[Kit84]

After seeing a little heartbeat a few days ago it wasn't there today. (7 weeks 4 days). Absolutely devastated. I know it's something many people on here have had to go through, often many times, but just can't see a way through this just now. Keep thinking that was maybe my one and only opportunity to be pregnant. How do people move on from here?

[Lots8788]

Oh hun I am so so sorry to read this. Absolutely gutted for you. I know it may not feel like it right now but you will get through this. Hope you have lots of support around you. Here if you want to chat. Big big hugs xx

[MissSaoPaulo]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, life can be really sh*tty and unfair sometimes. I know there's nothing anyone can say, but sending you big hugs. I hope you get your rainbow baby someday, but you'll never forget this little one xxx

[Afrohair]

So sorry I experienced this back in September at 12.5 week can’t help but think it was my last chance we all feel similar and lots of ladies to support on here stay strong x

[Michael30]

Oh I am so sorry to hear this. Sadly not much at the moment is going to make you feel much better at the moment, but I agree, you will get through this and find the strength to move on, never forget, but try again. I know it xx

[Cinderella5]

Im so sorry to hear this Kit. So truly heartbreaking. Massive hugs.xx

[Gem2410]

I’m really sorry to hear this. It’s heartbreaking. Take all the time you need. I hope you have support around you. Sending you lots of love 💖 💖💖 xx

[ttcemmie]

Oh Kit. So sorry to hear this. Sending you big hugs. It's hard not to think in all-or-nothing terms at the moment, but this is a situation that is impossible to understand; no matter how much times passes. It's really not fair.

[Hidden in reply to ttcemmie]

Its so bloody unfair isn't it when you have set your heart on something only to be told its not happening!

[MrsH86]

I’m so sorry to hear this, it’s such an utterly devastating thing to happen. Be gentle with yourself and process it all in your own time and way x

[KayCan]

So sorry, absolutely devastated for you. Sending love xx

[Corchi]

Sending love and courage and light. Take deep breaths, be kind to yourself. Grieve, cry and let it go. Do whatever you feel. I’ve had 6 miscarriages and I can relate. You WILL be ok.

[HelenJudi1]

I’m so sorry to hear this! x

[Hidden]

That's a right blow isn't it when that happens and it feels like someone has offered you sweets and then there aren't any as its always a right blow when you have set your heart on something think it is happening only to find out no it isn't!

The only thing that helps with this is time.

[Hidden]

I am so sorry to hear that! It is so sad. Do take care and be kind to yourself. Sending you lots of good vibes!

[Littlepeax]

♥️💫♥️ So sorry sending you lots of love xxxx

[andromedae9]

So sorry to hear this. I had an MMC confirmed earlier this week. Can't get my head around it.

Hope that you have lots of support around you. Just PM if you need to chat. There so many lovely people on this forum that will offer you support. Take care of yourself. It's all so unfair.

xx

[Kit84 in reply to andromedae9]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It just feels desperately unfair. Sometimes it doesn't feel real then all of a sudden it hits me again. Hoping you have lots of support around you too. X

[andromedae9 in reply to Kit84]

Thank you ❤️

[Klndmr]

I’m so sorry hun 💕💕💕💕 Sending millions hugs your way 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[amandac84]

I am so sorry for you. No words will make this better but sending love and support xxx

[FrancyItaly]

I’m so so sorry to hear that. I also have Pcos and I had a miscarriage in September, I was 11 weeks but the baby measured 7. I didn’t get to see the heartbeat but maybe that’s a good thing. I know mums feel reassured when they see it. If you need to talk PM me, i’ll help you as much as I can. I know how lonely it is when you have a miscarriage. Talking to people who experienced it definitely helps to go through it 💕 Don’t worry, people with Pcos can have healthy children and I’m sure it will happen for both of us.

[Kit84 in reply to FrancyItaly]

Thank you. Wishing you lots of luck and strength for whatever your next steps are. X

[Tiddly1984]

So sorry. Hope you have lots of love and support around you. x

[CLDxxx]

So sorry darling. Sending love xxx

[Lavender96]

Oh Kit I’m so sorry to hear this! I found out about my mmc at a 13 week scan and it’s really heartbreaking, especially after you’ve seen a heartbeat. I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to move forward, it took time but I did get there. There won’t be much anybody can say right now to heal that pain, but please know that with time it will start to get easier. Take the time you need to grieve and let the tears out. I hope you’ve got lots of support around you. Sending big hugs xx

[Kit84 in reply to Lavender96]

Thank you. X

[Picalilli99]

I’m so sorry this has happened Kit. We have been there so can understand how utterly heartbreaking that feeling is after seeing a heartbeat. Please be kind to yourself and take the time you need to grieve. You wont forget your little one but you will begin to feel better, in time. Sending huge healing hugs lovely xxxx

[GiantPanda]

That's so sad, and I've got no advice I'm afraid other than to say look after yourself and I hope you feel better with time. X

[Georgie17]

I am so sorry this has happened. It is such a cruel journey and your time will come. Take care and big hugs xx

[Willow1976]

I am so sorry, I had a negative viability scan on the 20th december after our very first positive after 7 transfers...

It is so difficult and I am realising that there is no magic to get through it just time. I am really struggling and have been encouraged to have some counselling... I can only suggest time and be kind to yourself and as I am doing taking one day at a time. Xx

[Elynn]

So sorry

[MontsJ]

I’m so sorry this has happened to you. This happened to me - at my 7 weeks scan measurements were small but there was a heartbeat, by 8 weeks this was gone. The only thing that helped me was time, I needed to grieve all over again and there were a lot of tears over the lost opportunity of achieving my goal and being able to be done with the IVF process. Eventually I was able to start thinking about moving forward and felt some hope again. It took a while for me to get a period again so be prepared it might not happen quickly. Time is the only thing that help help with this overly, and for most you will carry a bit of that sadness with you even when you are able to move on. Look after yourself and know it’s ok to feel all those feelings of sadness, despair, anger etc. Sending you a hug x

[kje1 in reply to MontsJ]

I’m so sorry for your loss MontsJ. I underwent ivf and I’ve had 2 scans both measuring small with low heart rates. I go in again for another scan next week...I know things probably aren’t looking good. Question, did you have your embryos genetically tested? Did they tell you why this happened? like was it chromosomal abnormalities ? I’ve had 2 other MC in the last year - not looking forward going through another one!

[MontsJ in reply to kje1]

I’m not sure if you mean did I have the embryos tested before transfer, as in PGS tested, or have testing done on tissue passed with miscarriage?

I didn’t have either, if this is your third miscarriage I would definitely be asking them to test and to be referred to recurrent miscarriage clinic. Generally the NHS will investigate miscarriage is you have three. You can collect what you pass at home and keep in the fridge.

You are right that they just will say that there was likely a chromosomal problem, this is what they said to me.

[kje1 in reply to MontsJ]

Thank you so much for your reply. I was referring to PGS testing but also wondering about testing the embryo so you answered both!!! I will definitely keep what I pass in order to have it tested. And will also ask about PGS now that it has likely been 3. I can’t through this again!

How many weekend until you started your period?!? Thanks so much

[MontsJ in reply to kje1]

I certainly would say that having three miscarriages doesn’t mean you need to jump to PGS testing. Worth also noting that as far as I’m aware PGS testing is not at all funded on the NHS.

It took 6 weeks for me to get my next period, I have read that for some it takes longer.

X

[GPmum in reply to MontsJ]

and to kje1 , really sorry about your MC experience According to Zita West's book, it might worth also to have autoimmune blood test to see if you have blood clotting and/or autoimmune disorders e.g. existence of antiphospholipid, anticardiolipid, anti TPO, anti nuclear antibodies, overabundance of NK (natural killer) cells, MTHFR mutation(s).

I read an article that the normal PGS testing unfortunately is still far from providing high guarantee as there has been discovery that due to the normal testing a lot of embryos had been discarded and they actually might survive!

The genetic blood tests of both so hubby and us is also a good idea, as this was prescribed by our 2nd RE that has more in-depth experience in IVF than our 1st RE.

[Angels2us]

I am so sorry it's such a cruel process, and it doesn't matter how many times you go through it the pain is still the same, sending you lots of love 😘😘😘

[Shelleybean]

I’m so sorry for the loss of your little one 😢 This happened to us on our first cycle and it’s truly devastating 💔 After the next two cycles failed I also thought our one chance for a baby had gone, but knowing we’d had that one pregnancy somehow helped kept me going and it’s looking like we’re going to have been successful 4th time around. The clinic said getting to the heartbeat stage before had boosted their estimated chances of our success by 20%.

Don’t give up. Take all the time you need to grieve and gather the strength to continue your journey when you feel able 💕💕 xx

[Kit84 in reply to Shelleybean]

Thank you and congratulations. That gives me hope. X

[Hidden]

Oh I am so so sorry. I have been there too many times. Its such a hard place to be. It is truly heartbreaking. Please do not blame yourself. It is so cruel but so common. Is this your first loss? There is a wodmedul charity called Aching Arms. You can make contact with them and they will send you a beautiful Teddy bear to commemorate your angel. Mine has helped me have something tangible to hold at dark times. The pain doesn't go away, but you learn to manage it. You will get through this

[Hidden]

I’m so very sorry a loss is awful particularly when it’s such a wanted pregnancy. We were determined our loss which was a chemical pregnancy (not as difficult as MMC) wouldn’t stop us from trying to for fill our dream. a year later later we went into have a successful pregnancy ( which was filed by great anxiety until our daughter arrived) It won’t feel like it now but in time you will come back fighting. For now just give yourselves time to grieve. Be kind to yourselves. I hope you have plenty of support around you. xxx

[Fifikoko]

I’m so sorry this has happened Kit

Sending you God’s love and strength xxx

[Dolly8]

You poor darling. Sending so much love. Xx

[Kyell2]

I am so so sorry to read this. Sending lots of hugs your way xx

[Itsalongjourney26]

I am heartbroken for you. Sorry for your loss ❤️ xx

[JoP32]

Sorry to hear this Kit.

It’s such a hard thing to go through. Nothing can help right now but things will get better with time, I promise. Take care of yourself and if you can, take some time off work. I found that very helpful (and necessary). Sending you hugs. Xxx

[Kit84 in reply to JoP32]

I'm all ready feeling pressure from work to say when I'll be back. Sometimes I feel okay then suddenly I'm a sobbing mess. At the moment it feels hard to imagine ever going back. X

[Jessy1280]

Sorry to hear this. Its devastating. The exact same thing happened to me a day before my birthday on 11th Dec. Mmc. It was my 9 week scan on the weds (id seen a strong heartbeat on Friday before). Baby measuring 7 weeks 6 days but it had always been measuring 5 days behind. Means the baby had probably stopped on the Sunday. Had to have medical management in hospital 18th December. Went through Xmas breaking my heart.

Reach out if you need to. Its the only thing to keep me going and focusing on cycle 3 soon. Cry it out. It soooo helps. There's some amazing organisations out there who can listen and help you through it xxx

[Kit84 in reply to Jessy1280]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It feels all the more cruel and unfair when everything is fine one minute then gone so quickly. X

[Mary80 in reply to Jessy1280]

big hug to you, so sorry

[GPmum]

I'm so sorry to hear this Big hugs for you.

I didn't have MC experience as it was only implantation failures (2x).

But I lost my older brother in '16 and it took me about 5 months to grieve less. I second what Hidden suggested to reach to the organisation that can help with grief as this is what I did with my brother's passing and another thing that helped (even though it might not be for you) is that my hubby bought me a couple of guinea pigs babies for me to cuddle and I must admit they also helped a lot especially as at that time I regretted so much that I wasn't pregnant (as I believe in reincarnation), but my point is just do all that make you at ease the best.

[Kit84]

Thank you so much for all your kind words and advice. This forum has been a total lifeline. While friends are trying to be supportive if feels like no one really understands unless they've been through this journey. Comments of "At least it happened early" feel like little consolation when our dream was years in the making. I feel much less lonely reading through all the comments and they give me hope that we'll get through this somehow. Wishing everyone love and strength wherever they are in this process. Xxx

[Hidden in reply to Kit84]

Honestly, people don't think. I swear I still have not spoken to my cousin who insisted on messaging me after my last mc that everything happened for a reason and when I asked her exactly what reason that may be she started spouting about staying positive. People don't understand until they have been there. And even if they have, it is so so different for everyone. Thinking of you. 💕

[FrancyItaly]

My Midwife told me to go on the Miscarriage Association website. At the beginning I couldn’t understand why, it wasn’t helpful, every miscarriage story I read was reminding me of my experience. I cried so so much while reading the stories and feeling genuinely sad for other women, strangers who went through the same. I kept reading and reading, sometimes the same stories of early missed miscarriages that were more similar to mine. What can I say, in the end I feel it really helped me. Maybe it helped me to cry more, to take out my sadness, frustration and anger. Today, 4 months later, the pain is still there but it’s much metter, I think of my baby every day, especially because I have many pregnant friends and because my due date in March is approaching. But at least, I don’t cry every day. You are right, this forum is so helpful, you really feel like people understand you and almost care for you more, sometimes you feel closer to strangers than friends. So many friends told me stupid things ‘It happens for a reason’, ‘You can’t always have everything in life’. You need to accept the fact that none can really understand, unless they’ve gone through it.

[Mary80 in reply to FrancyItaly]

so sorry God will put a smile on your face again.

[Skippy1982]

So sorry for your loss. Sending you massive hugs xxx

[Tugsgirl]

I’m sorry to read this, truly. I had two missed miscarriages after ivf treatment too. It’s devastating. Sending you love xx

[Debrakay1704]

So sorry to hear to here this. Sending lots of love x ❤️

[City74]

Sorry to read this. It is devastating. Thinking of you xx

[Mary80]

This will NEVER be your one and only opportunity to fall pregnant, you will be happy again. I have said a prayer for you. God will see you through in Jesus name Amen. Sorry.

[FrancyItaly]

How are you doing Kit84?

[Kit84 in reply to FrancyItaly]

Thank you for asking. I just don't know at the moment! Still can't quite believe it's happened. I'm finding myself getting really upset and annoyed by others responses or lack of responses. It feels like people just don't understand and expect me to be fine. I just can't help thinking that might have been our one and only chance.

[FrancyItaly in reply to Kit84]

The truth is it’s true they don’t understand unless they’ve experienced it! Also, most people simply don’t know what to say, or avoid the topic as they don’t want to upset you. So they pretend everything is fine and that you should be happy it happened at an early stage. That’s why we’re here, to listen, help and support each other! I hope you’ll have your rainbow baby soon.

[Kit84 in reply to FrancyItaly]

Thank you so much. X

[hifer]

Really sorry to hear this. I have been here. I promise you can get through this. Time and lots of support from family and friends will get you through. Sending lots of love xx