I am so blessed to have one IVF daughter, but now secondary infertility. We got our BFP after FET but today had the 7 week scan and the embryo is small and has no heartbeat. I’m devastated.
The hospital said they will scan again at 8 weeks, it could just be behind but basically don’t get my hopes up. They really didn’t sugar coat it.
Has anyone had this and the baby was actually okay?
I feel so different from my first pregnancy which made me think is this not right or maybe it’s a because it’s a boy and they feel different. But I’ve had no symptoms at all.
It was also shit being told all that without my husband with me. Anyone been through this? What happens now after 8 Wk scan if no heartbeat do I wait for miscarriage or can I insist on a surgical procedure????
Thank you ladies.
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Capps8
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I’m really sorry to hear this. Our first transfer I got a BFP. We went to the 7 week scan, and had exactly the same, no heartbeat and measuring 6 weeks and so many days.
We weren’t offered another scan, we were just told it wasn’t going to progress.
I was told to stop the medication and the embryo passed naturally in my next cycle.
Sorry mine isn’t positive, but I do understand how upsetting it is to hear that news
Thank you. I’m so sorry for your loss too. No extra scan just waiting sounds terrible. So now I’m quite thankful they are doing another one next week. But I have no hope in me at the moment.
So sorry, I know how you feel. I had a natural pregnancy and they didn’t see the heartbeat at 7 weeks. I hoped for a miracle, I miscarried naturally at home at 11 weeks without meds. I hope this is not your case and that you are just behind with the implantation, not sure how it works with FET 💕
I know… in fact I was thinking to take meds at the time and then it happened. I didn’t want to separate I guess, I was in denial! x
I am so sorry to hear this Capps8. Last July I had a similar experience, our first round of IVF and at my first reassurance scan - I was on my own because of Covid restrictions to be told it was measuring small at 7 and a half weeks and they could only see a faint flicker of a heartbeat, similarly I was told it could go either way but certainly they seemed to be suggesting it was unlikely to be good news. I went back a week later for a scan (again on my own) to be told it hadn’t grown and there was no heartbeat. I can remember the pain and devastation like it was yesterday and my heart goes out to you. This time waiting in limbo is the hardest. All I can suggest is just doing whatever you can to get through each day until your next scan. Is there any counselling you can access at all? For me I got referred to an EPAU, my body would not let go of the pregnancy naturally, sadly my local hospital would not accept my clinic notes so I had to be rescanned and then told to wait another two weeks to see if the baby picked up (I knew it wouldn’t but to be put through that extra wait and pain was horrible). I then went into hospital for medical management and passed the baby there. I hope my story isn’t the norm and other consultants/EPAU’s would be more supportive and kind. I know we are realistic through our IVF journeys and almost through self preservation protect our hearts, but try to keep eating nutritious food and taking your meds just on the off chance. I’ve certainly heard examples when baby has picked up. Thinking of you and sending you lots of strength xx
Thank you for your kind words and I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s really good to have some realistic expectations of the next few weeks. I just can’t bear it to drag on.
Hi Tilly, so I’m now having the same as you. Second scan today and nothing changed. Referred to local hospital this afternoon and they won’t accept the notes. So a third scan today and I need another next Friday until they accept it all. I’m not sure to go with local or general anaesthetic. Do you have any advice please? Thank you.
Oh I’m so so sorry to hear of this news. No words or anything I can say can take this away from you. But I know that pain and I’m thinking of you. So sorry you’re also having the same experience with the hospital ….I made a formal complaint after my experience - but you can maybe think about that later, that’s not the priority at the moment. So I didn’t have the D&C, and the hospital only offered this procedure with epidural. I had the medical management, so a tablet put high into your cervix which started contractions and I passed the baby in hospital - again protocol that I had to stay in rather than do it home. In the end I was grateful for that as I felt safer and needed a lot of pain relief. Thinking of you so much during this impossibly tricky time. Any more questions then let me know xx
Thank you, it’s good to hear different scenarios. I’m just not sure how to handle this now. I have another week, stopping progesterone tonight so it could happen naturally I just want to make an informed decision.
The red tape is also infuriating. I asked the sonographer if she’s ever seen a pregnancy after ‘8wk-no heartbeat’ and she said no but I still have to wait another 8 days now. I also offered to call my clinic and ask for the notes but they couldn’t accept them. I want this baby more than they understand so why would I lie about the bad scan results. So frustrating.
I know, I felt exactly the same, it was infuriating, unkind, felt spiteful and dragging the pain out. I think sadly hospitals have these new guidelines in place that they have to use their own scans and leave a certain amount of time as in the past pregnancies were terminated which could have progressed. But like you said and we know if there’s no heartbeat then we know it’s not going to change. I also called my clinic in tears at the time to try and get them involved but they said they couldn’t intervene. It’s so upsetting and extra trauma you don’t need. Reach out to Tommy’s for support and also miscarriage association has lots of info and stories from different women’s experiences. I had some great counselling through work, as my clinic and NHS had long waiting lists. Your right it may well happen naturally - mine didn’t and I held onto it for another 3 weeks before I could have the procedure. There’s things worth getting prepared for incase things do start naturally - I’m happy to send you a list of ideas of what helped me - do you want to message me directly? Xx
Hi, so very sorry to hear what you are going through. This is almost exactly what happened to me.. It was my last frozen blast (I have 1 child with the only blast that was successful) I also had to deal with this while my husband waited outside in the car assuming all would be fine.. I was rescanned at nhs hospital the day after the clinic scan (in case they got it wrong) then had to wait another week for another scan to make sure nothing had changed - I was told to carry on with meds over this time. Unfortunately, for me it was still bad news on these scans & they gave me the option of either waiting for natural miscarriage, taking tablets to force it to happen at home or having a procedure in hospital day surgery to clear out my womb. I chose this way so it was done.I must say it took me several weeks to get over all this emotionally & I took 3 weeks off work. I’m so sorry for you & send lots of love xx
Thank you for your kind reply and I’m sorry for your loss. Everything sounds so similar. I’m going to try and insist my husband comes to the dr appt after the scan as I need somebody to help make decisions. It’s so unfair it’s their baby too.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ve just been through the same thing. Should have been 7+5, measured 6+3 with a faint heartbeat. Rescan a week later to be told no heartbeat. Referred to early pregnancy unit at the local hospital for a scan, then told to wait 10 days for another. As i knew it was over I just wanted the meds to help it pass. From first scan it took 10 days to pass. But it was a very long 10 days. Same as you my body knew something wasn’t right, only had mild symptoms but they disappeared so I expected the worst.
I had about an hour of really bad pain and then it happened.
That was a double FET where only 1 embryo implanted. We are booked for our next FET in November, it’s going to be a long 3 months.
I also have a 5 year old daughter through IVF 🥰
I hope you don’t experience too much pain and look after yourself. It’s the worst feeling to get this far and have it taken away.
I’m so so sorry! This happened to me too. In a way, it was less shocking when I started bleed. However, I’ve read plenty of stories where a week later it had grown and there was a heart beat. I hope you’re ok. You are not alone and this isn’t the end of your journey. It’s just very difficult. Good luck. Xxx
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I went for an early scan at 9/10 weeks (natural pregnancy) and there was no heartbeat. I had a 2nd scan somewhere else with stronger machine which confirmed the embryo must have stopped growing at 7 weeks. I had terrible morning sickness but then it all just disappeared and I thought something had happened and got checked out. I had a d&c (dilate and curette) where they clear the womb medically under general aneasthetic and only had to wait a couple of days. I’m glad I did it that way and it was over quickly. A friend had a similar thing too but used the pills and said it was painful. My mistake was not taking much time off work, I underestimated the emotional impact of it all.
I hope you get better news. Thinking of you, this is such a tough thing to go through xxx
Thank you. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s really helpful to know the different scenarios. I would prefer a general anaesthetic I’m sure. And a good tip about work because I have quite a hectic job and nobody to cover me so I always feel guilty taking any time off but I think it’s a good idea.
Yes my job is hectic too and have the same guilt but health is way more important and work should understand. I pushed through and ended up burning out so I don’t recommend that x
I am so sorry this happened to you. I had a similar experience to you at my private 8 week scan for my only pregnancy so far but my baby was measuring 7 weeks 5 days and no heartbeat. Even despite that I hoped that somehow dates were wrong. My GP referred me to the local NHS EGU where I had to have two more scans as they have to do two scans to ensure the first person didn't make a mistake. I had the second scan a week later as I wanted to make sure there hadn't been a mistake and the baby definitely hadn't grown in that time. It hadn't. I was offered choice of waiting to see if I miscarried naturally (but it had clearly by then already been 2 and a half weeks since the baby's heart had stopped beating and I was still suffering just as bad morning sickness as ever. They didn't advise this option. There is also a risk of infection with waiting) or medical management which is taking tablets like the abortion pill or having an op under general anaesthetic. As there was a small risk of damage with the op, I went for the medical management. Unfortunately I was one of the few people for whom medical management doesn't work and although I bled, the baby didn't pass and I still was having bad morning sickness. My body really didn't want to give up my baby They therefore booked me in for the ERPC op under general anaesthetic which went well and on balance I wish I had gone for this rather than the medical management. I definitely will if I am unfortunate enough to go through this again. Sadly I have been unable to get pregnant since either naturally or with any embryo transfers but I am hopeful that I will. I just wanted to let you know what I understand the next steps to be. I think in your position I would be wanting to see what the measurements are at the next scan and I hope for you they find a heartbeat this time. All the best xx
Thank you so much for sharing your story and I’m really sorry for your loss. I mean maybe there is a chance but I’ve got in my head and my heart I really don’t think this baby is here anymore.
So sorry to hear what you are going through. I'm currently 8 weeks pregnant and have have empty sack. Because EPC told me straight away they have no experience with ivf pregnancies they told me to wait further 2 weeks for confirmation. O my next scan at 10 weeks and I'm petrified what will happen after that...Heartbreaking I know 😪 sorry not a positive story but I do understand what you are going through...xxx
Thank you I’m so sorry you are going through this too. The waiting always feels so long. Waiting for IVF. waiting for follicles, 2WW, waiting for scans. It goes on and on doesn’t it.
I’m so sorry. I don’t have any advice I’m afraid, hopefully some other lovely ladies can offer some but I couldn’t just read and not reply. Nothing anyone says can make the pain any better but know that everyone here is here for you whenever you need us ❤️
I had a similar situation. Measure 6wks with a flicker of a heartbeat at 7wks. Went back at 8wks measure 6w1 and strong heartbeat. Scan at 9 weeks no heartbeat. I called my EPU who could not see me until a week later (my birthday!) so I called another EPU. Madness to have to shop around for help.
Had to be rescanned at the EPU, only a junior doc on that day so couldn’t give me medical management as hospital protocol meant a second scan was needed. Went back the next day, saw consultant, he was really apologetic and said that the protocol really does not apply as the had the clinic documentation from the previous 3 scans.
I opted for medical management at home and although it was painful it was not as bad as I feared. I collected the remains so we have buried them in the garden. I found this hugely helpful but my mental health has still taken a huge battering over it. Be kind to yourself and still have a little hope until you know otherwise.
I’m really sorry to read your sad news . I emphasise as I had exactly the same news at my 7 week scan back at Christmas 2018 before going on to have my son in 2019 . I was given 3 options wait for miscarriage to happen naturally. Take some medication to induce the miscarriage or have surgical option . I initially decided on the natural wait option but 4 weeks later no bleeding so I opted for the medicine. I wouldn’t recommend the surgical option as there is a risk of scarring and asherman’s syndrome. I hope you have the love and support around you at this time. Remember you have shown you can get pregnant and implant an embryo. Wishing you the best going forward. xx
Thank you. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s a hard decision I’d prefer a general anaesthetic and just get it done. But not if it will affect any chances of getting pregnant again.
I understand your preference if that is what the outcome is for this embryo. The scarring is only a small risk. Many women do go through the surgical route and are fine. Your clinic can provide a leaflet with all the questions you may have for each option and what is entailed for what you decide. Thinking of you x
Hello lovely, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It is just beyond devastating, and I am so so sorry, This happened to us at a slightly later scan and unfortunately the outcome was not good even though we insisted on waiting a week, and even got a second opinion at another clinic. It can take a long time for a "natural" miscarriage to occur, so sometimes they will insist that you have the surgical procedure even if you don't prefer it. I imagine that you could also request it. Hopefully things will turn around for you, but if they do not, then I assume you can insist on the surgical procedure. I had one in the spring. It was difficult emotionally, but I was under general anesthesia, so physically I don't think it was too bad. But my husband and I both really grieved it like a death and we actually had a funeral (ours was later and we'd seen her and she had had a good heartbeat, but still). I hope whatever happens that things go as smoothly as they can. Feel free to reach out over message if you need anything or have other questions. xo
Thank you so much for your kind words and I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s harder I think the longer the pregnancy goes on. With IVF I try to close my heart but it’s still painful. I told my husband I feel sad for the baby-embryo but he doesn’t really get it. I really don’t want to wait and risk it starting at work or out and about. But not sure if there are any long term risks with the surgery? Thanks Cathy.
Really sorry to hear that! I being trough the same situation for 4 times and ended-up having a D&C. My losses was all at 7 weeks because of chromosomal abnormalities. Hang in there maybe you have a miracle happening. I know this feeling well and is just horrible. Thinking of you and sending you good thoughts.
I'm so sorry I had this news at my 20 weeks scan last November and it is so incredibly hard to hear those words 🥲 nothing anyone can say to make this better but thinking of you and hope that you are getting plenty of support Xx
I’m so sorry Jess. I’ve been following your story since we both had girls the first time around at the same time! Just really don’t want to be in this right now.
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