no longer heartbeat

[Asha82]

Hi! Unfortunately I found out today my baby hadn't grown since last week and also no longer has a heartbeat so I'm having a d&c tomorrow morning, I'm feeling absolutely heartbroken, it was really hard being in a room full of pregnant women but I managed thanks to the wonderful support of my fiancee, the only thing that keeps me going is that we will be doing a frozen cycle in 3-4 months it will be another double transfer but it will be my first frozen cycle as I've only had 3 fresh cycles at this stage, I just thought I would send this update xx

[Mlove12]

Oh I’m so sorry Asha, you are so strong. Pleased you have a good network around you, fingers crossed for your next round lovely xx

[Asha82 in reply to Mlove12]

Thank you so much I really appreciate it xx

[Crie1983]

I’m so sorry to hear this. Such a heartbreaking time. Sending you lots of love and strength for tomorrow and the future. X

[Asha82 in reply to Crie1983]

Thank you so much I really appreciate it xx

[JA-fnuk Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

So sorry to read your post- sending a big hug to you and your OH Will be thinking of you tomorrow

Take care of yourself

Janet

[Asha82 in reply to JA-fnuk]

Thank you so much, sending a big hug back xx

[Anoncasper]

I’m so sorry Asha! This is awful news. Take time for you and allow yourself to grieve and process what has happened.

We are all here for you if you need us. Lots of love and hugs 🥰🥰 xx

[Asha82 in reply to Anoncasper]

Thank you very much I really appreciate it, sending hugs back❤️xx

[AuroraXen]

Oh Lovely, I'm so so sorry this has ended up so tragically. You've had an awful time lately, I've followed your posts and hoped things would turn out very differently. It must have been a complete rollercoaster for you both. I'm glad you have a great fiancée to support you, indeed I'm sure you will support each other in the hard days and weeks ahead. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow xx

[Asha82 in reply to AuroraXen]

Thank you so much I really appreciate it, it's very heartbreaking but I'm staying strong and positive for my family and for the frozen cycle in 3 months but it's extremely hard, it's been so crazy lately but my baby went to embryo heaven xx

[Kmcdon]

So sorry, not the outcome I had hoped to hear. I’m thinking of you. So heartbreaking

Hope you get on tomorrow and glad you have your frozen cycle to help you keep positive. I found it was a relief to have the d&c as it was over and I didn’t have the waiting to go through.

Make sure you are kind to yourself and perhaps do some not pregnancy friendly things while you can. It sounds like you have great support around you which is fantastic. Xx

[Asha82 in reply to Kmcdon]

Thank you so much I really appreciate it, it's absolutely heartbreaking, I definitely have great support, I just can't wait to recover to do the frozen cycle xx

[Nenad]

I’m so sorry to read this update it’s been a stressful time for you, really sorry. Be kind to yourself and focus on doing things that you enjoy/ relax you. Thinking of you xxx

[Asha82 in reply to Nenad]

Thank you so much, it's really heartbreaking but I have to stay strong and positive for the frozen cycle in 3 months and I have to stay strong for my family xx

[Nenad in reply to Asha82]

definitely stay positive for your next cycle but don’t put too much pressure on staying strong because we’re only human, it’s ok not to be ok sometimes 🤗❤️xxx

[Asha82 in reply to Nenad]

Thank you I know I have done heaps of crying today at the hospital, they have given me strong painkillers which are numbing me up a bit at the moment but when it runs out reality will kick back in❤️xxx

[Nenad in reply to Asha82]

hope you’re ok xxx

[Asha82 in reply to Nenad]

Thank you I really appreciate it, I'm finding it hard to cope, I'm feeling very depressed xxx

[Nenad in reply to Asha82]

I’m so sorry, I know it’s really hard. It’s been a rollercoaster for you lately so take the time you need to heal, physically and emotionally. Your clinic would normally offer counseling if you feel this would help xxx

[Asha82 in reply to Nenad]

Thank you so much I really appreciate it, yes they have offered counseling and I'm thinking about if I'm going to use it xxx

[Icsi_Wincy_Spider]

Im so sorry to read this Asha, August will be here before you know it. Thinking of you xx

[Asha82 in reply to Icsi_Wincy_Spider]

Thank you so much I really appreciate it xx

[Elmo13]

So sorry to hear this Asha. Take this time to rest and recover and come out fighting for your FET. Sending hugs. Xx

[Asha82 in reply to Elmo13]

Thank you I really appreciate it, I will definitely take time to rest and recover for the fet, sending hugs back xx

[AMJean]

I’m sorry to hear this Asha82. I hope you are doing ok. Sending love and best of luck for your next steps 🤞🍀✨x

[Asha82 in reply to AMJean]

Thank you so much I really appreciate it, I'm feeling very depressed but I will be ok, sending love back xx

[Infragilis]

Just wanted to say I'm very sorry you are having to go through this. I went through it two months ago and it was my last chance with my own eggs. Life is unfair but that's great news that you can have a frozen cycle soon. Wishing you the best of luck and for now just do everything that makes you feel good.

[Asha82 in reply to Infragilis]

Thank you so much I really appreciate it, I'm so sorry that was your last chance with your own eggs, are you going to try donor eggs? I hope your ok and everything works out for you also, we are planting a fragipani plant in remembrance of our baby xxx

[Infragilis in reply to Asha82]

That's nice as remembrance 😊 yes we are going to go for donor eggs. Hopefully something works as this is seeming never ending.

[Asha82 in reply to Infragilis]

I really hope it works out for you with the donor eggs, it's a stressful and depressing journey

[Infragilis in reply to Asha82]

Yes it totally is! Wishing you all the very best with your next cycle. Till then focus on your well being and do things that make you feel good.

[Asha82 in reply to Infragilis]

Thank you I really appreciate it and I wish you all the best

[DreamingOfTwo79]

Dear Asha, I am so sorry to read your news, my heart breaks for you, I know how much you were willing this pregnancy on! I hope you will physically recover swiftly from the D&C and that in time your grief will feel less all consuming and the anticipation of your next transfer in a few months' time will illuminate your heart and soul slowly again. Living with loss will rarely get any easier but day to day life will slowly expand around the grief and hopefully will make it more manageable to cope with in the long term. Wishing you all the best for your recovery and so much strength and faith for your next steps when you're ready! Lots of love xx

[Asha82 in reply to DreamingOfTwo79]

Thank you so much I really appreciate it, I'm doing a bit better than I was on Saturday and yesterday, we planted a fragipani plant in memory of our baby and that has helped me cope, I really am excited about the next transfer which will be another double transfer, we have 4 frozen embryo's so we will use them all with 2 double embryo transfer if needed, I feel more positive as I know we still have a chance, thank you for your beautiful message and I send lots of love and hugs back xx

[DreamingOfTwo79 in reply to Asha82]

I'm so glad to hear you are slowly feeling better and planting a tree is such a beautiful and healing gesture! Wonderful that you have another four chances to be a Mum again, you are doing so well to focus on these positives in such sad times, you can do this, I look forward to hearing how you are getting on in your next transfer! Keep well, lovely xx

[Asha82 in reply to DreamingOfTwo79]

Thank you I really appreciate it, I will definitely be posting information about my next transfer but that won't be until August or September xx

[Annjali]

so sorry to hear of this please take the time to recover and heal

[Asha82 in reply to Annjali]

Thank you so much

[Corchi]

sending so much love courage light and strength ❤️

[Asha82 in reply to Corchi]

Thank you so much I appreciate it❤️