Hi! I have had 3 medicated iui attempts this year and they have been quite rough on my body. I am in a rather stressful and competitive job and get a lot of pressure sometimes. The pressure seems to mess up my (PCOS but rather regulated by myo innositol and diet) cycles - my current one is totally too long after a fight with my boss. HR is aware and supportive about fertility treatment but advised not to tell my boss. I probably have been less productive in the last year with heartbreak and medication but this is compared to 'normal' overworking which seems to be expected in my job. Now I am about to start ivf and am worrying about how the stress impacts the outcome of the EC cycle if it does affect a normal unmedicated cycle already so much. I do want to stay in my job, I usually enjoy it. I just feel I cannot be a high-performer at the moment and happy eggs are more important now. What did you do to relax and deal with pressure? Thank you for your help!
How to cope with stress: Hi! I have had... - Fertility Network UK
How to cope with stress
Unfortunately, coping with stress in this situation is quite difficult. But you need to try to accept this situation. Perhaps you need to reduce the length of the working day. Then you will have more time to relax. But remember that in the first place should be your health, and only then work. Excessive overvoltage is not useful for you in this situation. I wish you good luck and patience.
Hi there,
It is really hard when you are in a busy and demanding job. One thing that helped me tho was adjusting in my brain what was important. The desire to have a baby and the importance of what me and my husband were going through is so much more important than a meeting or a report. I still do my best at work but it’s not my priority. My health and journey with my husband is. That flip in my brain helped me get more perspective and less stressed and focus on taking care of me which is really important. Unless you work in a hospital then your job is not life or death & shouldn’t be stressed over in that way! Hope this helps and best of luck with your journey xx
My boss is threatening to take away a reward after 6 years of work as the other members in my team are working more for the last year. I do kind of understand this, but is difficult to get my head around it, especially since there is no guarantee that the baby thing works at all. But I agree, I will have to make health and happy eggs my priority. Thank you! Is all not so easy and I sometimes so wish to get normal life back...
Totally understand how you are feeling. You do feel like bring on pause whilst you focus on IVF and it can be all consuming. Your boss shouldn’t be comparing you with others though. Focus on what you have accomplished and not what others have. If you are still delivering on the day to day tasks you are still doing a good job regardless of the extra hours anyone else is putting in! Sounds like you just need to focus on you, do the necessary at work but stay away from the stressful competition! Good luck! X
Hi
I also have an extremely stressful career where it is considered normal to overwork and I can very much relate to this. I used to have a boss like yours and decided to leave and join a more family friendly company when I was trying to get pregnant as I knew they wouldn’t be supportive of home working and flexible working once I had a baby.
I have now had a baby and returned part-time and work from home 3 days a week at the company I joined - it’s so much better than what I would have faced at my old company. I do not think I’d have coped emotionally and logistically would probably had to have left the company anyway as childcare means you often need to leave early and be able to leave immediately if LO gets ill or has an accident etc.
My advice is just stick this out for the time being but look around for a company that supports working mothers.
Hi, I also have a stressful job and understand how difficult it is to juggle work worh ivf. Could you work from home when you have ivf appointments? I would also suggest taking time off during egg collection and embryo transfer days. Best of luck!!! X
Thank you! I can have appointments before work with my clinic which helps a lot. For EC they said one week off, maybe more dependent on how my body is doing (expecting it to overreact a bit as it did with the iui attempts). I can have 20 days/year off for fertility treatment - HR has been really nice about it. The workplace itself is family-friendly in its policies, the field and group around me a bit competitive. Will probably need to find a different job but if I leave now, I lose an ok maternity bundle if having a baby works plus starting somewhere else with fertility treatment on the way is probably not so easy too.
You are all such strong women going through all of this!
Your company has good policies! I would definitely recommend taking 4-5 days on and after egg collection. I totally agree we don't want to lose our maternity leave if we could get it!
Hi there! How are you? I hope you are feeling better. So to first cope with stress, you will have to accept that is a normal thing. You can also share your story with us on this forum and talk to people here. Because we all have been through that so we understand how you are feeling. If you feel like crying, so then cry, don't hold it in. If you are angry that why it's hard for you and easy for others? Then grab a pillow and punch it as hard as you can. You can also write a journal and keep track of yourself. These are some of the common ways to deal with stress. I hope this helps you. Take care. Bye!
Hi! I hope you are doing well. I can understand that this is tough for you. It's a good thing that you are thinking about Stress. Stress can have a very impact on your treatment. You can reduce stress by doing yoga or exercise. You can also get rid of stress by writing about it in a diary. Also don't hold your emotions inside you, let them out. That way you will be able to create more space inside you for good thoughts. If there's no stress, then you will feel improvement in no time. Take care of yourself. I hope this helps. Stay blessed. Bye!
Hey, I understand as my job is stressful too - out of yours calls etc and I’m seconded into a second role while still maintaining responsibility for the original.
I wasn’t sure what to do but did tell my boss and that made things better as when I did need some support they could do something - if he didn’t know he couldn’t really help was my thinking.
It was very hard to switch off and I was doing lots of hours to work around appointments etc.
In the end I think being busy helped distract me from it all and helped during the waiting periods. Currently 13+1 and when I found out it had worked had a bit of a calmness come over me, or maybe a priority feeling, where it doesn’t stress me too much now as there’s bigger things at play than just work. But I didn’t get that feeling until the BFP.
Find what can help you switch off, be it exercise, reading, escaping into a great show, cooking, walking, and hopefully it won’t affect treatments at all xxx
Hi hon. How are you doing? Stress is a very bad thing for fertility. I have seen many people who failed just because of stress. It affects men and women both, for men it's like a sperm killer. I can understand that this is tough for you. It's not easy to balance work with treatments. But you will have to do it. To cope with stress you can do a lot of things. Share your feelings with someone who's close to you. Don't lock your emotions inside you. Tell yourself what you are going through is normal. You can also do exercise to get rid of stress. I will pray that things get easier for you. Best of luck. My blessings are with you. Goodbye!
It helps a lot to hear that it is normal to feel like everything is too much and the treatments taking their toll on the body. I am a bit stupid to just expect to function as normal (whatever this is) and am trying hard to keep going and a bit of external stress just tips the balance. Thanks everybody for answering, am feeling much better and less stressed already and have booked some gym sessions and took a day off from work today 🌻
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