How do you cope with the waiting game?

[MissN]

Hi ladies,

I'm not sure how everyone's experience has been, but i feel like i have spent so much time just sitting and waiting. Waiting for appointments, endless scans and blood tests, for my body to be ready, then for it to recover and to start the whole process again. We all must have the patience of a saint.

My last IVF cycle was cancelled. I was told to wait for my next period. It came but apparently it needs to be the one after. So another month has gone by and i am still sat waiting for AF to arrive so that i can begin the next stage, waiting for day 21 to begin my down reg injections. Of course, AF is a no show. It was due last week but currently nothing.

I am starting to go a little bit stir crazy and i am getting beyond frustrated. I just want to get on! I feel so much better when i am actually doing something. I try to break everything down into smaller time scales to make things manageable in my mind. Lets face it, a potential transfer date of 9 weeks away seems like forever.

How does everyone cope with this? I am trying to get on with normal life but right now i am really struggling. If anyone has some advice on how to make AF show up NOW, that would be much appreciated too lol xx

[Tugsgirl]

It’s always the way isn’t it? When you don’t want af (pretty much every month) it’s bang on time yet the one time you want it it’s nowhere to be seen! 🙈 No advice on how to make it show up either, it will come when it’s good and ready.

The waiting is a struggle, a real struggle that doesn’t seem to get any easier no matter what stage you’re at, believe me, but the only way through any wait is one day at a time unfortunately. Good luck xx

[MissN in reply to Tugsgirl]

Thank you for the reply. It is such a struggle. I have been ok for the last month but it really feels like it's dragging now. I am booked in for a scan tomorrow so hopefully they can give it a jump start xx

[emmab178]

You really do end up putting your life on hold for this process. I'm just about to start my third box of 90 folic acid pills, so that's 6 months worth gone by and transfer not for another 2 weeks yet. It does fly by when injecting though x

[MissN in reply to emmab178]

I totally agree, you put your life on hold. I've been trying to plan things for April but know that i will be at some point in the process so cannot confirm anything. I didn't mind the injections because i felt like it was progress. I am actually looking forward to the next step of side effects (hot flashes) because i know that's one step closer. It's such a crazy process. Hopefully we will all be sane by the end of it. Good luck with your transfer in 2 weeks. How are you finding the stims? x

[emmab178 in reply to MissN]

I'm on a fet so I'm happy that I'm down to a reduced dose of buserlin as that's helped my moods alot. I'm on tablets of progynova to get the lining up. Scans on Friday where hopefully we see the triple layer and get to go ahead

[Hidden]

Hi, I was meant to do ivf in sept but am still waiting for my first transfer due to delays at each stage. You have my sympathy! The frustration is really hard to deal with. Im trying to keep focused on things outside my fertility struggle but it’s hard when the fertility issues keep invading all my time and plans. I think breaking it down as you are doing and keeping small goals in mind is a really good way of doing it. And if you’re feeling rotten that might be a good sign AF is coming - she’s often preceded by misery hormones! Xx

[MissN in reply to Hidden]

Oh no! That is a long time to wait! Why has it been delayed so long? Where are you currently at in the process? XX

[Hidden in reply to MissN]

First time a uterine polyp was found so I went off for polypectomy. Then this round they think they found potentially another polyp and I got OHSS so they felt it wasn’t safe to go ahead beyond egg collection. We did get Frosties though so there has been some progress 😊. I’m currently waiting for my baseline scan (Thursday - postponed once already as AF didn’t show!) to see if I have more polyps (in which case it’ll be my 3rd surgery to remove, then hormone controlled frozen cycle), if no polyps then it’ll be a frozen cycle next month or month after (depending on how my insides look post-OHSS). I think the frustration level with delays has been really challenging. It feels like one step forward, two steps back all the time! You’ll get there though - just hanging in is tough. Xx

[MissN in reply to Hidden]

Wow! And here's me moaning. It sounds like you have been through one hell of a tough ride. But like you said at least you have had some progress with your frosties, how many did you get in the end? Hopefully the scan goes well and you don't have to have anymore surgery. I've suffered with OHSS in the past so know that is not fun at all. My fingers and toes are crossed for you xx

[Hidden in reply to MissN]

From what I see on here we have our delays and difficult waits for lots of different reasons. It is all just a very difficult process, whatever your issues are! So nice there’s a group to share these things on. Makes me see we’re all ultimately walking the same road just with a few different twists and turns. X

[Bluelady-sing]

why was the ivf cancelled?

[MissN in reply to Bluelady-sing]

I ended up with 4 huge follies and a group that would not catch up. So the choice would have had to be to proceed with just 4 or sacrifice them in the hope that the others would catch up. The doctor decided that it would be best to cancel this cycle as we only get one go on the NHS. He thinks that i will have a much better response to gonal f and wants me to change to that next time.

[Hidden]

I hear you..I feel the same! My FET cycle was cancelled and I’m now waiting on my period too. I’m finding the waiting hard but I keep telling myself..what does it matter if it’s this week or next? Or even next month..Until last week when I became more anxious..still no period 3 weeks after stopping. I gave in and called the clinic this morning and they are scanning me to see what’s going on and I have a telephone consult booked to discuss a change of plan and feel better to have something in place. The waiting is so hard..not being able to plan ahead..I am trying to stay busy and not dwell on it all too much. I hope it arrives soon for you xx

[MissN in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Mine was cancelled mid Jan. I had a day of "spotting" (not even that) about a week after. Since then, nothing. The clinic said that was a withdrawal bleed and to wait for a proper period to start again. I also gave in and called the clinic today, they are scanning me too in the morning. They said they may be able to give me a trigger shot for the period. No idea what that means. I have been having cramps for the last week which is driving me crazy xx

[Hidden in reply to MissN]

Ugh yes..the cramps! They are so bad and I’m so moody, even my partner keeps asking if I’m on my period yet I’m so bad! I think they will decide after my scan too whether to give me something to start my period if it hasn’t arrived by then. Mines on Wednesday. Hopefully we can both get some progress this week! Xx

[Starryeyes1984]

I totally emphasise with this. Sometimes I wonder if I am actually the world’s most impatient person but it’s only because I’ve wanted to have a baby for years and now I know why I can’t have one naturally I at least thought things would move quickly since it’s all medicalised. Man it’s been so slow, there’s always something to wait for. And my cycles are completely irregular and sometimes very long so waiting for AF is also a pain in the arse. And random relatives etc... have started asking my mum about my lack of baby status (been married a few years) so I now feel super self conscious like people are talking about me and it makes me want to get started even more!

If you come up with a way to better manage/cope with the endless waiting please let me know!

[MissN in reply to Starryeyes1984]

Aww it's so hard when people start questioning. You want to scream at people sometimes. I have felt this process to be quite isolating despite friends and family being really supportive. Don't worry about what people are saying, you know you are doing everything you can. Where are you at in the process at the mo? xx

[Starryeyes1984 in reply to MissN]

Yes it’s been really isolating. I’ve been fairly open about it as well but at the end of the day I know precisely zero people my age who’ve been through this so it’s been tough. We were hoping to start egg donor ivf next month but my clinic has now said my 4cm fibroid reduces my odds and suggested I take 3 months of prostap to shrink it a bit. But I had a hysteroscopy last year and my NHS consultant said don’t worry about it as it’s not impacting the endometrium or your life. I cannot bear the idea of more delay and being plunged into menopause for good measure. Don’t really know what the best thing to do is. Too many difficult decisions!

[Ohheck]

I feel like ive been waiting forever, but my down reg meds start tomorrow and i am really not looking forward to it, so naturally the night is wizzing by

[Fingerscrossed34]

It absolutely feels like they enjoy making us wait all the time, constant waiting. I was desperate for my period to hurry up this time before an appointment so the tips I found were drinking lots of water and using a hot water bottle as it supposedly draws blood to the area anyway. I don’t know if that’s what did it but it finished before my appointment so worth a try!