Hello lovely people, I'm new here today and really hope for some advise to help keep me sane from you lovely ladies...& maybe to give me some hope too.
I'm 40 and currently 4dp5dt on my 2nd ICSI round. The first cycle back in May was free on the NHS (just before I turned 40) & short protocol, this cycle is long protocol & we are self funding but still at NHS. First round 10 eggs, 8 fertilised, 2 pre blastocyst transferred day 5, but all other eggs had stopped developing by then so nothing to freeze & BFN. This round 12 eggs, again 8 fertilised and 3 transferred day 5, 1 blasto & 2 pre blasto, all others had stopped developing by day 4.
Day 2 post transfer I went for a short slow walk and suddenly had excruciating pain in the right side high ovary & tummy, across my hip and into my lower back. It went on for half an hour, I had to lie on a bench as I couldn't walk, it took my breath away it hurt so much. Then it stopped and since then absolutely nothing, I feel very normal, it's just my emotions that are painful 😔 I fear it was my body rejecting the gorgeous little embies. Has anyone else had anything like this? I also felt no symptoms last time and had the BFN so I'm devastated already and loosing hope.
On top of this my partner is severely depressed and hasn't really supported me through this process or the last cycle (he says he wants a family and knows time is against us but can't cope with the reality of this) so there is no positivity in our home or relationship, I feel very alone. I was also made redundant just before my last cycle in May and haven't been able to find a new job yet and the stress of all this has led me to develop stress triggered diffused hair loss which ironically I'd be more upset about in any other circumstances but at the moment it seems small in comparison but it is knocking my confidence...so all in all a compete mess and I'm so scared of that BFN next Friday when I test, how will I cope? 😔 Xxx