Finding it hard not knowing what the future holds.

[Lauz91]

My boyfriend already has 2 children who unfortunately he is only able to see every other weekend due to an awful ex wife!😆 We were childhood bf/gf and reunited years later and fell pretty much instantly back in love. He chose to stop himself from having kids as he was very young an she already had another child so he was in his early 20s with 3 kids. Long story short I don’t have children and it’s something I want so we will need to do IVF. We went to see someone and I was tested and it all sounded positive because I was fine that it would work. He already tried a reversal and that never worked. Unfortunately since then I was diagnosed with an under active thyroid and I now have abnormal cells which need to be removed and won’t know if I am clear for 6 months meaning we can’t even try. I love him so much he’s the one, we’re excited moving into our first home together and all I can see is the empty room our baby should be in. I feel suffocated like everyone and people close to me are having baby’s at the moment. I can’t look at kids, baby’s, baby clothes I feel my heart break. Does anyone else feel like this? Has anyone else ever had anything similar and went on to have a child? I’m feeling lost and hopeless xx

[KOT7]

Wow. Well this is a whole world of stress you're dealing with.

I think a lot of us struggle with friends/family getting pregnant around us. I know I do. My best friend announced her pregnancy with her 2nd child last night. I have my pregnancy test for 3rd round tomorrow. Whilst I'm delighted for her, I'm not ashamed to say I'm jealous. You're allowed to feel both emotions!

I'm not in a similar situation to you so can't give advice on that I'm afraid but I'm sure there are lots of people on here that will be able to help you.

I'm the LAST person that would ever want to air all my problems with a bunch of strangers in a 'chat room'...... But a year in.. And I've realised this place is a life line.

Hopefully you won't feel so lost with a bit of support from the group here

X

[SharlyWarly]

Oh yeah, understand completely. My partner had 2 kids when he was with his now ex wife and it has taken years to have our one child together. He had two reversals and neither worked. I spent years being bitter and having to turn away when people told me they were pregnant or even having to walk through department stores with kids clothes or buggies etc. It's bloody tuff when you want something so much it makes you cry so often. And then people move on and have 2nd babies and you haven't even had your first. I am so grateful that we did have our child and she is so wonderful. We are trying for sibling but it is proving much much harder - it's a real test of nerves and it's consumed my head for a long long time. I feel for you, but please know you are not alone and many other women know exactly what you are going through. Sometimes the thoughts in my head were really not nice but it all comes from a place of love for a baby you so desperately want so don't beat yourself up about it. It feels like grief xxx