See it’s so hard to explain to people not in our position. I love my husband with every part of my heart. He is the kindest man ever. Ivf has been a roller coaster for us as it is for everyone. But we have held our heads up high. We have cried Jesus we have cried. We’ve been angry at the world at life but never at each other because wherever this journey takes us we are in it together. And when the journey stops we will work it out and we will still be in it together.
But …. What happens if one of us is no longer here 😢 evenings spent staring out the window, watching the same old shite on tv. I’m probably being a twat and possibly slightly hormonal 😬 but it does scare me. I have heaps of friends but none of them are spooning me to sleep at night and they all have their own family’s to look after. Am I gonna be 80 sat in a nursing home waiting for …. Aww yeh nobody to visit 🤦♀️ Anyone else sometimes feel like this or just me being a tit xxx
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Boo718
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Oh my goodness, I think about this all the time. You are not alone in thinking this. I thought about it even before we started IVF. But now it feels so much more like a possibility its so scary. I feel selfish for thinking it! 🥺🥺🥺🥺 but we need to be positive Boo. However hard it is sometimes! 😘
Hey, I know it's hard but you are def not alone in worrying about this. I tell myself that we'll have the greatest adventures and travel and we'll make it work just the 2 of us but then what when we're 70? I reassure myself that my uncle never had kids and I adore him and he asked me to be executor of their will so I'll be there for him in the way ,hopefully, my nephews will be there for me.
Either that or let's take up bridge when older and we can be care home buddies! 😂
Either way hope that this won't have to be the case and our dreams finally come true xx
Please don't think about those thoughts. A loved person told me once that throughout life there's always someone jumping on our wagon, meaning that there are always kind people around us, even when things look grim.
I feel exactly the same too but with a slight twist on this - I love my husband so much but he's awful at making conversation and I'm worried I'm going to have a really lonely and quiet life if we don't have children. At the moment I talk enough to compensate for it but I'm getting tired and I think eventually my enthusiasm will wear out 😔 This journey has really sucked out my joy for life.
This journey is so tough isn't it, and affects us in so many ways. Thinking of you xx
Oh, I'm so sorry to read that you are feeling like this at the moment. When I read your post I can really relate to you but please try to distract yourself with something at the moment. I know it is not always easy but even if it means starting a hobby or an activity that allows you to interact with other people. This phase will pass and the storm will not last forever.Here's a big hug! 🤗
Thank you for your reply and for caring, I really appreciate it xx You're right that trying to find a distraction is a good idea. There were a couple of things I wanted to start pre-covid which inevitably fell by the wayside, so I need to look into them again. Wishing you all the best, and thanks again xx
Hello darling, you don't know how much I understand you!I've had similar thoughts to yours during the past two years. It's not nice.
What I am trying to do at the moment is to keep myself active doing things and when these negative thoughts come up I try to disconnect. I know it is not easy but one has to try. Also, when you manage to push them away you will see that it is worse the thought of having the sense of fear in your head (with all these scenarios we imagine) than what is really happening in your life. Try to stay present. There are relaxing techniques out there.
Also, there are many things one can do in life (travel, study a degree, help others, visit a museum, learn to cook, start a new hobby...), for me what seems to work is to try to live the present without getting caught up too much in things that have not happened yet. Believe me, it is challenging for me but I'm trying.
I don't know your circumstances, but I hope you stay positive.
I forgot to mention that I recently found out that my neighbour (48 years old) is pregnant. She went the egg donor path and she looks very happy. I hope I don't offend anyone but my intention is just to let you all know in these moments of negativity that there are options out there!!Lots of love to all of you
Yes I feel like this a lot lately ! After suffering the loss of our miracle daughter last year & the loss of a close family member just 2 weeks later I fear losing my partner more than ever . I think infertility really does rack all your emotions too & you just end up fearing what the future may hold , it’s such a shit show isn’t it.
I often wonder what life was like before all this & the innocence of having basic problems to worry about rather than the thought of a lonely empty future.
I feel as the years go by & we all still in this relentless journey how much strength have we even got left .
But some how we just carry on as we know we have to x
Trust me you are not alone. If my final attempt at ivf does not work then I too will be a little old lady sat sad and alone in a care home with no one to visit me and no family to call on me. It feels me with dread to think of getting old 😕
That you for saying exactly what I’m feeling. Sunday dinner, just my husband and I eating dinner alone is excruciating for me. I think we have nothing to look forward too. Nothing to keep us busy, all we do is work, house work and telly. I’m so scared that we will be alone and no kids.
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2 little beans ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Waking up to this little fluff ball! 
Our little baby: God is always faithful. 
A little bit worried - not sure what to do
Waiting...life on hold
