Fertility Network UK
13,519 members21,971 posts

Lost the plot!

Oh my god people are so insensitive! Today I was told that my husbands brother in law was upset because he doesn’t think we enjoy or appreciate our nephew enough. Apparently we should want to spend more time with him as we can’t have children, so we should just pour our energy into him. Oh and we need to stop treating our puppy like our fur baby because that winds him up as well, and we should be satisfied with his child!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬 Merry Bloody Christmas!

32 Replies
oldestnewest

People will never understand what it's like to be wanting your own child.They have so many expectations of you but they can't for one minute try to understand what you go through.Hes so insensitive and full of himself. I would have lost it too.unfortunately thats what we have to deal with as we go through this journey. Just don't pay much attention to him.i hope you are OK.

3 likes
Reply

Thank you lovely, feeling much better now xx

Reply

My sister was the same before we had children. She told us she only had my niece so we could have a “child” to dote on and spoil. When we got pregnant instead of being happy she got upset and stopped me from seeing my nice, which by the way is the most lovely little girl ever 🤗

Reply

People are completely nuts! Why on earth would you stop you from seeing your niece?! People never cease to amaze me! Xx

Reply

She told me she had only had that daughter after many abortions she has so I could have adopted her. She is the best thing that ever happen to my sister. She should be grateful! My sister is an idiot! 😕

1 like
Reply

??!!! Did I just read that right?? ....

Had she discussed adoption with you before having the baby?? Or did she just assume you would (!)

Sorry that’s the strangest thing I’ve heard in a while (!)

Reply

I try not to think about it! We all have weird people in our families...

Reply

Strangest thing I’ve heard too :( x

Reply

What????? That is the oddest thing I’ve ever heard?!! I mean seriously?!

Reply

Would make it up if I tried! Again... she is an idiot!

Reply

Oh jeezo, I cant believe someone actually can be that insensitive! Apologies but what a t!t. Im not surprised you lost the plot, I would do too, I'd be absolutely beyond furious....I actually am for you! Not sure how you handle that one as I dont think I could be in the same room as him after that but just wanted to say that I dont think how you are feeling is in any way over the top or anything. Sending hugs xx

1 like
Reply

Thank you lovely, I’m bloody off to his house today to exchange presents and dote on his son! Perhaps I’ll show them lots of pictures of my pup like a mad person!! Xx

Reply

Well you havent lost your sense of humour girlie....ha ha ha!! Better person than me going to his house today, dont think I could have done that! Hope it goes ok!xx

1 like
Reply

I’ll just have to make sure I don’t have any wine otherwise I may not be so restrained with my response!!😂

1 like
Reply

No one can tell you how to feel. This is stupid. The difference is you are raising your dog in your home. Not the same as visiting someoneelse's child in their home.. ignore it. They clearly have no clue. I know it's easier said than done x

Reply

Thank you xx

Reply

Oh my. What an incredibly unfair and silly attitude to have. I love my nephews beyond measure but there have been many times where spending time with them has been out of the question, luckily my sister is very understanding.

I really can’t understand the fur baby thing, it sounds like he needs to grow up a bit... Although we have my stepson and, all being well, our baby joining our family in July, my fur baby will always be my baby! Xxxx

1 like
Reply

Hi, sorry your brother in law has been so insensitive. I had a work colleague who knew I had just had unsuccessful IVF say that it was a consolation for me that my sister had just had another baby. There’s also a catalogue of similar comments from family and friends. I suppose it’s like most things, unless you are in that situation yourself you don’t know what it feels like. As for your puppy, you spoil it rotten. I’m currently lying in bed with my husband and the dog snuggled up in the middle of us 🐶💕

Reply

Wow there are just no words for these people!!! Yes the pup is loving life right now, lots of candy cane rawhide!! It’s like puppy crack! Xx

1 like
Reply

Oh gosh, that is bang out of order on so many levels!! 👊

How can people be so insensitive?

🤬🤬🤬 total assh*le! Xxx

1 like
Reply

What a strange and very insensitive thing to say. I’m sorry you’ve had to hear it over the festive period, especially when you’ve been feeling so positive about your next steps. I hope you don’t have to have very much to do with this man in the future. Xxx

Reply

The man is an idiot. I’d send him a strongly worded text explaining exactly what infertility feels like.

Reply

😱😱 this is awful!! I don't know how you've refrained from saying anything. How completely insensitive in every way! And how can they not realise that a dog helps with all those horrible feelings and emotions. Our 2 have got me through the hell of this journey and continue to do so, and will always be classed as our first babies what ever the outcome. I think you need to sit down and have a good honest chat with these relatives and put them straight on a few points xx

Reply

Some people eh?!!! xx

Reply

Best to ignore for family sake. He just does not understand and it will be impossible to make him understand as his never been through it.

Reply

Unless they go through it they will never understand . It’s their ignorance xx

1 like
Reply

Fertility network have a good info sheet to share with people about infertility. It might be worth printing it and giving it to whoever told you what he said (I’m a bit cross with that person too) and asking them to pass it on to him.

On the bright side, it sounds like you have carte Blanche for fun days out with your nephew whenever you want to, if that’s your thing x

1 like
Reply

Thank you I think I will do that, some people are just ridiculous! Xx

Reply

Sorry I would have told him to politely **** off...

1 like
Reply

What an insensitive man. I wonder how he'd feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Honestly some people are just so lucky and will never be able to empathise. I hope you can rise above him and your hubby isn't too hurt. Also I hope you don't have to spend time with him any time soon. Sending you lots of love xx

1 like
Reply

Thank you lovely xx

Reply

Really

Are they under some psychological treatment . Did they miss their medicine . How can one with sane mind say something like that to someone . I just hope that u r able to ignore him . Bcoz it's not good for u to b near negative and selfish people like them .

1 like
Reply

You may also like...