Back after some time off! Lessons I’ve learnt.

[Jaygee]

Hi all,

So after our failed IVF round my husband and I have been having some time away from ivf. We had a follow up consultation where it was decided they had not put me on the right protocol... to say I was annoyed is putting it lightly!

After the IVF I have not tried at all and have been totally detached from TTC.

Things I’ve learnt :

Yes, I do still know how to laugh and be happy. During TTC I was so highly strung that I forgot to be myself anymore. Being able to wake up without thinking about TTC has been liberating! My husband says he has not seen me this happy in years and it’s great

Treat yourself - husband and I have booked up a holiday in February and are planning another next May to Greece. I cannot remember the last time I booked something up without worrying whether it would interfere with hospital appointments or what if I’m pregnant? It’s actually liberating to not even care!

Your story and others aren’t alike - I spent so long comparing myself to others and their journey. Why did their IVF work first go but mine didn’t? Why did they get pregnant using the pull out method and here I am after months and months of methodical timing and planning and still nothing. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. Just accept it and breathe.

Nobody is out to get you - I cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve sat and cried and said why me? Why is this happening to us? It’s not fair! The bitterness inside me was rife and I hated anyone getting pregnant, even close friends and family. I felt hard done by by life in general. It didn’t get me anywhere and all it did was made me a nasty little person sometimes

Life goes on - husband and I are going to give it another go next year despite the clinic pressuring us to start soon. We’ve both decided that after another round it’s no more. I need to lead a life of happiness and If TTCing isn’t working and making me miserable I need to put it in a box and close the lid and find other happiness. I won’t be childLESS, I will be childFREE. I will embrace that and think of all the positives this will bring me. Early retirement, ability to change my career if I want to, holiday galore, lots of lovable furry friends, and the ability to go down any path in life I like without having to worry about the huge responsibility of children.

I hope for some of you this may have cheered you up on a down day, but I know the chances are slim. I’ve been there and nothing anyone says can make you feel better or fill the giant void in your heart right now. Fingers crossed for you all and you are your own hero!!! Don’t forget that!

[amandac84]

This is such a lovely post, good on you and what a positive energy good you having taken time out to focus on you guys and be happy again xx

[KiboXX]

Couldn’t read this and run. So well said. Put a smile on my face so thank you 😊

[Hidden]

Thanks for sharing your insightful comments! It is so true!!!

[HollyT7]

I hope that when you try again you get happiness and joy at the end of it, whether that be in the shape of a little person or a very luxurious holiday where you can breathe and plan the next. Inspirational post and I hope that others who find themselves in a similar situation are helped to find hope in knowing there is more than one way out of the journey xxxx ❤️ Peace, love and luck to you xxx