IVF - 1 week to go - emotions?!

[Hopeful_wishes]

How did people prepare or feel just before starting IVF?

I start my first cycle next Sunday. I’ve been ok most of the time (apart from a couple of wobbly moments!) and decided very realistic but secretly hopeful was the way to cope. Close family know and are saying I should be positive but I’m scared to be positive as I don’t want to fall to hard if it doesn’t work.

This weekend I have been staying with my sister-in-law who is 8 months pregnant. It has been lovely to feel the baby moving and i am so happy for them.

The baby shower was today and I was genuinely fine... until this game was announced... pick a homemade cupcake, one cupcake has blue sweets inside... “if you select the cake with the blue sweets inside you are next to fall pregnant”... I wanted to cry at the suggestion of this game... I picked a cake and was last to look... blue sweets inside... I could feel the tears coming so took myself off for a little cry! I just didn’t know how to take this, and would probably of cried either way! 🙈

I’m feeling stupid for one silly cake being able to rattle my head so much!

This whole process is making my head hurt! Any tips or coping techniques would be much appreciated!

Wishing lots of luck to you all xxx

[Suzy86]

Hi!

I start stims next Sunday(hopefully!) Are you starting stims then too?

The first time (and this time really) I didn’t do anything to prepare, just ate as healthily as I could but not so much that it was a shock to my body. At this point I think it’s probably a good idea to just do what your body is used to food and exercise wise and not change anything too drastically.

Wobbly moments are totally natural and my first cycle I remember being super wobbly because I didn’t know what to expect. This time I am much calmer and at peace about it and I feel like each day I get closer I get a little stronger. I know even if this round doesn’t work...I have survived failed transfers before, I will survive it again but I’m hopeful I won’t have to.

It’s so easy for people to tell you to stay positive and yes of course we should. But many people don’t understand the ins and outs of IVF and how much work goes into it. You are able to scream, shout, cry, be scared and be postive at the same time. IVF is one of those crazy times were you can feel every emotion at the same time and intensely! Don’t let anybody tell you you are being negative...ignore them if they do. If they haven’t done IVF quite simply...they just don’t understand.

That baby shower game Sounds horrible and the fact that you were even at a baby shower shoes how strong and amazing you are. You’ve totally got this! Everyone here is with you! Good luck xxxx

[Hopeful_wishes]

Thanks for taking the time to reply, I start norethisterone and buserelin on Sunday so a little behind you.

It’s so reassuring knowing that people on here understand. You start to question how your feeling when people don’t seem to get it.

I’m sure the girl would be mortified if she knew how it made me feel; I just couldn’t quite handle my emotions. I was determined not to miss the baby shower though, we’re a close family.

Fingers crossed that this is your lucky cycle! 🤞 xxx

[Cinderella5]

I think you've been brave this weekend! Baby showers and IVF really dont mix. Dont beat yourself up about getting upset. Its an exciting but nerve racking experience. My only real advice is if you can just take things one hurdle at a time. I think you're right to manage your expectations, I dont mean to sound mean but people around us think IVF is the answer to everything and unfortunately the failure rate is high! Dont get me wrong, some ladies are lucky first time and others not so much, its a huge lottery! Wishing you loads of luck.xx

[Hopeful_wishes in reply to Cinderella5]

Thank you for the advice, taking one day at a time really does seem to help. I have decided that everyone around me can be positive on my behalf - hopefully this will help!

Wishing you lots of luck xx

[louisajane80]

You're doing the right thing by trying to stay positive. It's such a roller coaster but I have found for the most part I'm excited about finally starting the process - however long it may take.

That baby shower game sounds very cruel and insensitive. It's difficult when others have no idea of what you're going through so in some in ways it's not their fault. It sounds like you handled it well.

I'm a bit ahead of you having started Buserelin 10 days ago and due to go in for my first scan a week tomorrow to see if I'm ready for stims.

This is my first cycle like you.

No specific advise other than eat healthy and look after yourself - mentally as well as physically. I've found little pleasures like walks in the sunshine and reading a book have kept me pretty calm and relaxed about it all up to now.

Best of luck and let us know how you get on x

[Hopeful_wishes in reply to louisajane80]

Thank you for the reply, I’ve never been on such an emotional rollercoaster, and it’s not over yet!

I know she wouldn’t of meant for the game to be insensitive, it just came at a bad time for me.

How have you found the buserelin injections? I hope the scan goes well tomorrow and you are ready for the next stage. Good luck 🤞 xx

[louisajane80 in reply to Hopeful_wishes]

Scan is a week today. In the meantime I’m on the daily buserelin injections which are going ok. Thankfully no side effects. Hope it stays that way!

Will you be on the long protocol?

[Hopeful_wishes in reply to louisajane80]

Glad to hear the injections are going ok! Yes, long protocol, I have a low AMH of 8 for my age (29). I’m doing buserelin and then menopur x

[LunaLovegood11]

To cope, I’ve found that removing myself from certain triggering situations helped - baby showers, people bringing babies into work, kids birthday parties etc. Anything that I have felt may make me worse for getting involved.

There are some great books and podcasts out there that are really useful. Our clinic had a support group which is good and we’ve been out with another couple and chatted to others.

I’ve kept distracted with date nights, nice relaxing nights in, work, and trying to be as normal as possible during it all (as normal as I can be without drinking, injecting myself and sticking pessaries in my bum 😂)

But if I’ve felt like I wanted a cry or a rant, having one and realising it’s a release.

I’m on my first cycle and have my OTD tomorrow... So at this stage I can’t really offer a ‘success story’ but hopefully tomorrow it will be 🤞🏻🍀

[Hopeful_wishes in reply to LunaLovegood11]

Thank you for the advice!

Tomorrow - eeeek! Sending you my best wishes for good news xx

[LunaLovegood11 in reply to Hopeful_wishes]

Thanks so much! X

[Hopeful_wishes in reply to LunaLovegood11]

Just seen you got your BFP - congratulations - fab news! Xx

[HollyT7]

It's such a rickety path and so individual that you will find your own ways of what works and what doesn't. Sometimes a cry on a bad day is the answer, sometimes a chocolate bar and sometimes nothing can take the worry away, the other half of the time you might be 100% positive, you just never know. You sound super strong doing what you have done so I'm sure the universe will be kind to you during this.

My advise is to take each day as a new day, try to put your positive pants on at least once a day. More importantly, be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up over thinking things, don't question how not so well you might think your coping as you will be doing an awesome job.

Sending you lots of momma to be vibes, I wish you all the best ❤️ xxx

[Hopeful_wishes in reply to HollyT7]

Thank you for the lovely reply and advice - I will definitely try to wear my positive pants!

Just seen you had your 12 week scan, exciting times ahead! congratulations xxx