Gonna be a hard Christmas

[Sarah83ap]

So hard to talk to anyone about this as no one really gets it.

I’ve decided to try and take a break from the fertility journey throughout December and enjoy Xmas and new year (relax and let go)

It’s so hard as I (silly I know) thought I’d be pregnant by now. When I entered the IVF journey I didn’t realise how many obstacles there were. Now this Christmas I am at dinner with a family member 7 months pregnant and it’s just a reminder of my pain throughout the day. I’m a positive upbeat person and would never show how much it effects me but and it’s life I guess. But I just wanted to share my feelings incase anyone else feels glum at this time of year and to know you’re not alone.

Sucks even more that AF is due Xmas day too! Someone up there playing with me! Lol. Still I’m trying to remain positive and looking to 2020 as our year for baby dust and next Xmas it will be me.

Love and merry Christmas to all! May all you xmas baby wishes come true.

[Joy35]

Hi Sarah. Feeling pretty low myself today. Decided to join on here as I can sit down, read other people stories and know it’s not just me. Plus I don’t want to drag down the family by being upset.

So many of my friends are pregnant at the moment (all mistakes, weren’t even trying🙄).

I’m staring IVF next month so let’s both hope for a better 2020 🤞🤞🤞.

Thanks for sharing

Joyce

[Sarah83ap in reply to Joy35]

Wishing you lots of luck wit your journey! I’m going to have another go end of feb/March.

Always the way isn’t it. Some people blink and it happens. So frustrating!

I find reading other people’s stories so helpful! Makes me feel like I’m not losing my mind. I hope you find it helpful xx

[CharlieW1985]

Totally understand where you are coming from. I find it incredibly hard this time of year as I thought we'd have an addition to our family by now. Every year I wish for it and no joy yet. Let's hope 2020 is our year to become mummies xxx

[Sarah83ap in reply to CharlieW1985]

Let’s hope : ) I’ve always been an even number year kinda girl.. That’s my thinking/hoping lol xx wishing you lots of luck on your journey x

[CharlieW1985 in reply to Sarah83ap]

Lots of luck going your way too... New year new start as they stay. Just trying to keep positive that it will happen for us xxx

[Ropa19]

I’m totally with you! That’s the great thing about this group as you realise there are others in same boat!

I’m also having a shit day today. My cousin who has always got on my nerves has given birth this morning on our wedding anniversary and she’s named the baby after my grandma who she never bothers her arse with! I’m extremely close to my grandma and if we were ever lucky enough to have a baby girl we wanted to name her after my grandma. I just feel like this journey it’s just one kick in the teeth after another!

It just seems to make it all worse around Xmas too doesn’t it?

I hope you have a lovely Christmas though and just try and take each day as it comes! Have a drink and eat what you like and let’s hope we all have a really lucky 2020!! 🤞🤞 xx

[Sarah83ap in reply to Ropa19]

Oh that must be hard. It’s annoying enough when someone you know uses your baby name, let alone a family member! I’d still use it if it were me.

I am eating and drinking everything without guilt and my partner is so encouraging with it. His attitude let’s let our hair down we’ve had a year of it so back to it in January. We booked to go away for new year too (not had a proper hols this year cos of ivf finances) as just want to go into 2029 with positive vibes! Clear the mind and hit reset. It’s the only way I can cope or find reason with it.

Hope you feel better and sending you baby dust for your turn! Xx

[Nodds]

Hi,

I totally understand how you feel.

We decided to take a break from treatment in December and start again in the new year.

It's been a long and hard year; not made much easier by most of my friends announcing their pregnancies. It's not that I'm not happy for them (I'd never wish infertility on my worst enemy), I just feel sorry for myself. So this year, I've allowed myself to wallow (for a week or so) before taking control of the situation and meeting up with my pregnant friends. It wasn't particularly easy, but I'm glad that I did it, because it was my choice how and when.

Christmas is a bit of a bitch tbh. It's that time of year for reflecting, but 2020 is also just a couple of weeks around the corner and having a whole new, fresh year ahead is pretty exciting. And you need the bad times to appreciate the good ones.

The fertility journey is tough and only the strongest are chosen.

Please don't compare yourself to others (pregnant or otherwise), you're following your path and it will happen.

Sending you lots of Christmas hugs

Nodds xx

[Core]

Completely know how you feel, I very much thought IVF would be the immediate answer but over a year since starting and I’m still waiting. This forum is great for feeling not so alone and realising others are going through the same thing xx

[Wildflower28]

Hello,

I understand how you feel. I too thought that we would have a new addition by now. I remember talking about it last Christmas like it was a sure thing without really thinking, so it makes this Christmas harder than normal. I got my AF this week and it definitely affects being able to look forward to Christmas. I'm dreading someone close to me announcing that their expecting which makes me feel like a horrible person. We're early on in our journey and have our first hospital appointment next month but my Husband was told his semen analysis showed some problems. I'm also trying to put it all to the back of my mind until next year, but it's easier said than done. I hope that things improve for you in 2020 and that you have a great Christmas, sending good wishes your way. xx

[Tiddly1984]

Hi Sarah, so sorry that things have been so hard. Cheers to year 2020 being your year...x

[Clover5]

I’m sorry to hear you are feeling so low hun. The fertility journey is so draining and sometimes for your own sanity, you have to take a break from it.

At least you know that you can always come on here and vent when you are feeling this way, as there are so many people that know exactly how you feel when loved ones and friends may not💕. Wishing you all the best for 2020 and that you can enjoy your Xmas as much as possible 🙏❤️XX

[Hidden]

Hi Sarah83ap,

I could of wrote this myself.We are spending Christmas with my sister- in -law who has just found out she is pregnant a month before we start our 2nd round IVF in January.It killed us when we found out after 4 years trying to concieve and a failed IVF.My period is on her bloody way too as always bang on time.😭

You are not alone and we all just get it here not like anyone else does.I wouldn't know how to cope if it wasn't for all the lovelies here and thier advice.🙂

Lets raise a glass on Christmas Day for all of us here who are struggling sitting round the dinner table with a broken heart and painting on that smile we know so well .🍾🥂🥰🤗

Louise

Xxxx😘

[3005]

This rings so true, even down to being due that wonderful AF on Christmas Day!

This is my 4th Christmas thinking this time next year I’ll be pregnant or have a baby, I really thought this year it would happen having IVF but no. Last year I spent Christmas with a family member newly pregnant and this year I have another family member 8 months pregnant. I am struggling with it all so much especially having 3 failed rounds this year and being no further forward, trying to enjoy it but it’s always there in the back of my mind.

I’ve had some therapy sessions which have helped but it’s still a constant challenge.

Thank you for your post, one thing I keep saying is no one gets it, no one understands what it’s like. But of course some unfortunately do.

I sincerely hope you can relax and enjoy Christmas and send you lots of luck and best wishes for the new year xxx

[Sarah83ap in reply to 3005]

Thank you fir your reply. I can totally relate. We been trying for 3 years and really thought we’d have a baby by now if not planning another. But yet here we are 2 failed cycles and feels like my life is passing me by without fulfilment.

We must remain positive tho because we are warriors and I pray that all our time will come!

Have a lovely Christmas!

Thanks

Sarah

[Kyell2]

It such a tough and crappy journey. Plus all the forced happiness can just be too much to bear.

Last Christmas I had a wee cry in the toilet because my parter got me the most gorgeous pearl earrings and I’d always told him I wanted him to buy me pearls when we had a baby. I felt like he had given up on having a baby and had written it all off.

Hoping 2020 is your year!! xx

[Tugsgirl]

Merry Christmas to you. Hopefully you’ll get your bfp in the new year xx