Confused about where or even if to start on an IVF journey

[tiddy]

So I started thinking about Children 6 years ago when I was 37. We decided after lots of discussion to adopt. We went down that route but my partners daughter, gave us a terrible reference. She has never met me (her choice) and is mentally ill but apparently that still means we were rejected. Even though everything she said was untrue about my partner being an alcoholic. He likes a to have a beer at the weekends. and in 8 years I have only seen him drunk twice at his parents funerals. Anyway, i was devastated that we were rejected and thought I had accepted that I would never be a mum. However I don't feel like I have tried everything and am now wondering if I should explore other options. There are some issues:

1. I am 43, 44 in Feb

2. My partner has had a vasectomy so I would need a donor

3. I wont get any help through the NHS, so will have to pay for any treatments

4. My periods have stopped

So my questions to everyone is, should I try IVF or is it just too late? and if I should try, where would i start?

Any help and advice is much appreciated.

Love to you all.

Tx

[Noodleone]

I think the first place to start would be to go and have a range of tests done with a private fertility clinic including checking things like your AMH levels (egg reserve). From there you’ll have proper facts to make decisions from. I just did my first IVF round at age 41 (we are yet to do our frozen transfer). I went into the process with the misconception that IVF was a much surer thing - it is worth knowing up front that success rates with own eggs beyond 40 are not great. Hwoeevr, donor eggs are an option. We were given around a 10-15% chance of it working per cycle and that is with a very high egg reserve for my age and no sperm issues. I don’t get regular periods either but have PCOS. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[CAS2]

I agree with Noodleone about having tests done. Also if you are considering donor eggs I found The Fertility Show in London really insightful as loads of companies there promoting donor eggs. Something I'd never really considered before. xx

[Jenny_]

oh, your partner's daughter is so annoying.

You will need to look around to find a clinic that will take you on. Private clinics are sometimes more selective to their patients as they want to keep their success rate high. I remember when I had my initial consultation, the person congratulated me for meeting their requirement. I was so shocked as I had thought they would be keen on taking private patients.

I had thought adoption but my husband doesn't want to adopt. Nevermind.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Lots of love.

[tiddy]

Thank you ladies. I have contacted London women's hospital as they have a programme for over 40s and do a fertility mot. I will do that and will definatley be going to the fertility show. Thanks for all your advice and help. Fingers crossed lxx

[Jaygee]

First thing I would do is get an AMH Test done and see what that says. Personally if that came back poor I wouldn’t bother myself, unless using donor eggs. Everyone is different but my IVF clinic have said success after 40 is very very low but you never know. Don’t want to be a Debbie downer, just trying to be honest. That being said my mum had me naturally at 41 but I would get tests done first and see from there. X

[tiddy in reply to Jaygee]

Thanks Jay, I am going to have the tests and see what they say. Members of my family have had babies into their mid 40's. Having done a lot of research yesterday, I think using donor eggs might be the solution. Much less invasive for me and the chance of a healthier baby and after all that is all that matters. Thanks for your advice and you aren't a debbie downer, you are honest. TXX

[crisps88]

Sorry to hear your awful experience, sounds so unfair and you would make a great mum. Start with your gp - who should refer you for all your necessary tests and /or advise with what’s next step. Would you consider donor embryos? Good luck Hun X x x x

[LorrieWalden]

Hey Tiddy! How are you? You are a strong woman. You have struggled so much but still not losing your strength. First of all, i agree with noodleone, the first thing you have to do is get yourself tested. It will clear out the main thing for you that do you need donor eggs or you are good with your own. If your body is strong enough to carry a child then IVF won't be a big problem for you. But if that's not the case then Surrogacy is the perfect option for you. I have also had my baby through IVF but i was in my early 30s. I will pray for you. My blessings are with you. Take good care of yourself. Good luck! Goodbye!

[Alyssa123]

Hi Tiddy! I hope you are doing fine. It's never too late to try for a baby. You need to visit a fertility clinic and get yourself tested. After that, you will be able to find out which treatment is the best for you. If your eggs are in great condition then yes you can use your own. But if not, then you will need to go with donor eggs. Mostly people at this age go for donor but it really depends on your condition. Be patient and everything will be alright. I hope this helps you girl. Take care. Good luck! Stay blessed! Bye!

[sadievalentie]

Hey Tiddy! How are you? I hope you are doing well. According to me, it doesn't matter what your age is. You can start whenever you want. Although its easy to do it before 40 but good things don't come without struggle. So if you are willing to take the pain then visit a doctor. He will be able to guide you on what treatment is best for you. He will also check if you will be able to do IVF with your own eggs or you will need a donor. Don't worry about anything, it doesn't matter. Good luck. Stay blessed. Take care. Bye!