Huge fall out with boyfriend

[Kitcat12]

My boyfriend and I have a fantastic relationship and get on so well, but he's got this awful flaw of looking for arguments and saying really hurtful things when he's had too much to drink. We've been together 7 years and I'd say this happens around 1-2 times a year and it's literally the only time we ever argue or fall out about anything. It's happened tonight, he's been out for a drink with a friend and I've gone to pick him up and we've just had a huge row on the way home. I can't stop thinking about the horrible things he says when he's like this and this time he's said hurtful things about the way I've been since being pregnant - he basically called me lazy because I'm struggling massively with nausea and headaches and now I feel like I can't let this go. He even said something that implied I have somehow trapped him in to this pregnancy which was so upsetting after all we have been through to get here. I know tomorrow he'll be apologetic because he always is but I feel like I can't even take his apology seriously because this has happened before. I don't really know why I'm posting this, just needed a moan I suppose.

[aamiller405]

Aw hun, moan away! men eh! mine has a bad habit of picking arguments when hes drunk too, but arguments are normal even the very hurtful ones. Alcohol isn't an excuse but it definitely makes people say stuff that they normally wouldn't.

im sure yous will make it tomorrow, make him work for it though! xo

[Hidden]

Moan away!!! Mine is exactly the same when he’s had too much to drink. He’s not a good drunk either.

Your hormones are extra sensitive at the moment too 😘 sending a huge hug.

Maybe sleep in the spare room so he knows how much he’s hurt you when he wakes up? And babe him grovel tomorrow xxxx

[AnnieAnnie]

Oh no, I bet that wasn't a very nice to experience in the least. Sounds like you need to have a frank chat with him about his behaviour once he's sober. Being drunk doesn't excuse the things he's said to you especially after all you've been through to get to where you are and implying you trapped him. Is he going to continue to throw this in your face or was it a one off? Is this really how he feels? Or is it anxieties and the reality now of becoming a parent is real. If you don't deal with it and bottom it out together and try and get to the root of this outburst, this could fester and drive you crazy. You don't want this hanging over you for the rest of your pregnancy or even after, it's stress and worry you can do without. I hope you can talk it out and get to the bottom of it. Maybe he shouldn't drink so much if he is going to be horrible and it makes him turn into someone he usually isn't. Wishing you lots of luck xx

[LKT1]

All partners should treat each other with mutual respect that is not limited to when sober. If he changes so much when he drinks then he really shouldn’t drink. Of course arguments are normal between couples but if he has any issues he shouldn’t bottle them up and let it all out when he is drunk, even if it’s only once a year. It’s not hard to get your point across without saying hurtful comments. Or if he can’t control it and won’t limit the drinking maybe he should stay over at a mates house. Hope you can talk it out and move forward Xx

[Kitcat12]

Some great advice here ladies, thank you ❤️ He has stopped drinking in the past because of his behaviour when he's drunk. The problem is that he can't unsay the horrible things he's said and I can't just pretend he didn't say them. I just feel like he doesn't realise how hurtful it is to hear, especially when I'm already extra sensitive and emotional. Thanks all for listening to my moan x

[Sunshineraye]

Oh bless you this is never nice.

Mine is the same, will have the odd beer in the week but a couple times year he will go all out when he goes out.

Friday I met some friends and dropped him at the pub with some mates for two hours, in that time he’s managed to drink as much has he can which meant I picked him up drunk 😩 I said to him that I don’t get why he has to do that, he said he just finished and got another ect. He then asked why I didn’t just drink, I said I can’t atm as on buserelin makes me feel crap with alcohol which then lead to a row!

I ended up saying that I want him to support me a bit, we are in this together so don’t see why he has to get drunk! He then said I was stopping him from enjoying a drink and called me some unfair names. Like you in the past we have had issues with him drinking so he’s stopped compared to what he used too but now when he does he has to go all out in such a short space of time 🤷‍♀️ Xx

[Kitcat12 in reply to Sunshineraye]

It's so selfish! We sacrifice and give up so much so that we can go through this journey and I don't think it's too much to ask for a bit of support. He's apologised today, as I knew he would but I take it with a pinch of salt to be honest. Still so disappointed in him!

[Sunshineraye in reply to Kitcat12]

It’s just hassle we can do without isn’t it. Xx