I've done the egg retrieval, given myself a cycle off and am all good to go with my first ever FET next week.
We have 6 pgs normal blastocysts in the freezer.
Yesterday at my day 2 scan I asked the nurse if it's dangerous to be pregnant and weigh 108kg (BMI 37). Absolutely nobody has asked me my weight or brought it up with me at any stage during this process. So I've assumed it was fine.
I've read a bit lately though and thought I'd ask her personally. She said there are higher risks of things like gestational diabetes which can remain after the birth and form into diabetes for life! That terrified me and I said I need a few days to think about whether or not to cancel this FET and do it in August or not. I won't delay it longer than 2 cycles as I'll be 39 by then. I just don't know if I can dramatically lose enough weight by then for it to really make much difference?
Should I just go ahead and transfer one blastocyst next week and hope for the best or postpone?
What would you do please?
Written by
Fingerscrossed38
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
It’s a tricky one! I think to substantially reduce risk of complications due to weight, you’d probably need to lose quite a bit. And is it realistic to do that quickly, and what are the chances of keeping it off? Yoyo-ing isn’t good for anyone.
I’d probably start eating as healthy as I could - enough calories and nutrition not to deprive my body and potential baby, but also not over-indulging. And see if it’s realistic to move more. I’ve started to make it a thing to walk 10,000 steps a day. That should help in getting/keeping you healthy, even if it isn’t translated into weight loss.
I’d go ahead. The older you get, the higher the risk of age-related complications. You’d probably trade the weight risk for the age risk...?!
Just a few thoughts. Not sure what I’d do, but probably go ahead as per above. Good luck!
Not to worry! That could be a good idea! Are you using an iPhone? That will track your steps (approximately) too, and I think most other brands do too.
Rather than going for long walks only to push up your step count, try to replace in your routines: exit the bus/train/tube earlier and walk, park further away from your destination, take the stairs, etc. Shop groceries every day and do it walking. Then it doesn’t seem such a commitment to reach. Also, remember that a single step more is good. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re not going to reach your target that day, but still try to do something towards it rather than giving up entirely (as I often catch myself doing!). For me, postponing the inevitable treat (dark chocolate, a bath, a bunch of flowers) and “allow” myself once reaching a milestone works too.
Hi what I experienced in past and is thru that overweight person in very beginning of trying loose some weights it goes really kwik...after is slowing down so u need to “do”little bit more things around your self to make sure u keep diet.
In my case I love sweets ☺️ but when I drop them all eating healthy one or two main meals not eating in evening (last food around 7.30 8 pm ) in 10 days I lost 2.5 kg . My BMI is around 33 so I want for my self to loose maybe another 8 kg before I go through FET cycle.
Don’t “kill” yourself hun just eat your breakfast have some snack before lunch after lunch another snack like yogurt or fruits....for tea have some grill meat or green salad something really light that is easy for your stomach to digest.
In very late evening if u feel to “snack”something just drink some water and if u still want something have a fruit or humus reduce fat with carrots.
Try to drink at least 2 litres water a day that helps. Xx
Thanks for the tips. So would you suggest I lose some weight first then do the cycle in August? I am flip flipping differently. I don't want to wait but I also don't want it to fail because of my weight
I got my BMI down from 31 to 27. I wasn’t allowed an nhs cycle until I got below 30. I eat a calorie deficit and track my food in my fitness pal (tip though, turn off the exercise function, it’s not accurate and you should eat the same calories regardless of what you’ve burnt that day). Monitor everything you take in. To figure out your calorie deficit (it’s different for everyone) just have a google. There’s a sum to figure it out on an individual basis and as you lose weight you should update it coz your calories will go down. Also eat high protein, it’ll keep you full for longer and helps maintain muscle so it’s fat you’re losing not muscle.
The advice about walking 10,000 steps is really good. Also, if you’re on Instagram follow James smith pt. he’s a bit laddy but knows his shit and is no nonsense. He even did a post telling women who complain about mum tum to get over themselves coz they’re the lucky ones to have conceived (turns out he’s adopted). I loved him for this.
Once I lost a certain amount I felt like I had extra energy and started running. Then I joined a gym and got a PT. my weight hasn’t decreased since then but my inches have coz I’m doing strength training so burning fat and building muscle which is denser.
This all makes it sound so easy but it’s not. One major thing that people rarely look at is the reasons behind it. I had to do some work with a therapist about emotional eating and looking at where that came from. Without this you will yo-yo through life. I had a “relapse” after my latest FET bfn but I’ve moved on now looking forward and getting back to it. I’m not going to beat myself up coz this is fucking shit that we’re all going through.
I have loads of great Instagram people you can follow if you’re interested. Please don’t do any fad diets though or try these awful detox teas etc. They prey on people like us.
You have the best motivation going. Just imagine that you are doing this to look after any future child.
Oh tough decision! I know that the NHS guidlines is 30 although some private clinics do allow 35. From what I have read if you can lower your BMI a bit then your success rates are better plus there are less complications in pregnancy. That said lots of ladies with BMI's have success pregnancies too. I think if it were me I would try to lower my BMI (I know how hard this is as I find it extremely difficult to lose weight), you've put yourself through so much to get to this point and if you can a bit off it would be better. The other thing is to remember and I know its not much comfort (Im 41 now) but although your age is increasing your eggs are still the same age, they are frozen in time if you like! Good luck with what you decide!xx
You're so right. They're safe and sound and a few months won't affect them but a few (who am I kidding, a lot of) extra pounds might jeopardise things.
I'm just angry at myself for not being healthier and sorting myself out sooner.
I think delaying things a few months is what I'll do. Even if it's to get myself down to a BMI of 35. Should be a manageable goal.
A huge part of me is tempted trust me! But I think I'd kick myself if it failed. I'd definitely blame the weight and my embryo is just too precious to use when I'm not 100% ready.
Thanks to this forum I'm able to mull over other people's opinions. It's so helpful!
Thanks for replying xx
Please don't lose weight drastically, that will not help your chances at all. Personally, if I was in your situation I would postpone for 2 months to try to lose SOME weight, but mostly to get into healthy habits. If you can make yourself more active, and eat a healthier diet over the next two months, you are more likely to keep that up when you get your BFP. If you have a healthy diet and are reasonably active during your pregnancy, for a pregnant woman, you will reduce your risk of GD. If you aim to crash diet and lose loads of weight before transfer, you'll mess your body up and reduce your chances of that cycle working. Two months isn't long enough to lose loads of weight healthily, but it is long enough to make changes to help yourself and your future baby. It takes 4-6 weeks for a change to become a habit. And if you do start losing weight and maintain healthy habits, don't be surprised if you lose weight throughout your pregnancy. A friend of mine was diagnosed with GD early on in her pregnancy and gained only 2kg by the time she gave birth. Good luck with whatever you decide to do x
I think you're right. I think I'll take the two months off and try really hard to get my head sorted, establish healthier exercise and eating habits and hopefully come August I'll be ready!
I've asked myself a similar question as my BMI is 31. Clinics usually don't discuss your weight. A fertility nutritionist did spontaneously address it, saying it would make a pregnancy easier. Right now I'm trying to eat healthily through egg collections, and then I'll try and gently lose some weight before my next transfer.
I'm surprised they don't ask or mentionit especially if it's obvious you're over BMI 30. If it causes potential complications to the pregnancy surely they are obliged to mention it to their patients? If not perhaps it really isn't that big a deal?? Maybe I'm panicking for nothing? Argh I seriously can't make a decision! One minute I say I'll do the transfer next week, the next I say no I'll lose some weight first and do it in August! I don't know what to do :-(. Well done you though for eating healthily during egg collection at least!
It's better you consult a dietician and go with FET. continue follow-ups with a dietician until you give birth. A dietician will give you a prenatal diet plan depending on your weight blood reports and fertility plans. Beacuse pregnancy can cause you weight gain and since you are turning 39 it's better you start ivf and diet plan as early as possible...
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
What would you do in these circumstances - Cancel or continue with cycle? 
When to have a FET after failed fresh transfer.
Would you go for a single or double transfer? 
Is 55 nmols too low progesterone after FET today?
Period after cancelled FET cycle?
