anyone's husband refuse to move to donor eggs?

[Jenp2018]

I am devastated to say the least, after 5 years of fertility treatment including 4 fresh IVF cycles I have had to come to terms with my only option of becoming a mother is with donor eggs. I attended counselling with my husband to talk about donor and out of it came the fact he just " is not into it". I hate him, i can barely look at him without feeling angry. He thinks we can just pick up our lives and continuing living whereas i am a broken person, how does he expect after 5 grueling years just for me to turn my back on motherhood. Does this mean the end for us? i am just so confused i am not sure he is just enough for me... maybe i sound crazy and a little harsh but my future has been turned upside down. I have never felt so anxious. Anyone out there in a similar situation or managed to change their husbands mind? x

[Jenp2018]

thanks for your reply. I have never even heard of that treatment. I must look into it. I would travel anywhere ! I would really appreciate if you could send me the info. thanks again x

[Rella22]

Hi Jen,

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know this journey is the most difficult thing to endure and takes a toll on relationships. I suggest taking sometime off to reflect and discussing the topic again when things settle down. Have you told him how it’s affecting you? Perhaps try counseling again to gain an understanding of his reluctance towards the egg donor.

I hope things work out and sending you hugs.

[Jenp2018 in reply to Rella22]

thanks so much for your reply. I can't see him changing his mind, we have discussed it so many times and i am just talking to a brick wall. He has even gone to a fertility counsellor on his own to talk about it. I just feel if he really wanted to be a father this wouldn't be an issue. Its just a disaster of a situation and right now i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel but i am sure that will change. thanks again x

[ClarabGlasgow]

I’m so sorry to hear this. There’s a Netflix movie called one more shot where they use donor egg and sperm and I found it really warming to the idea - might be worth a watch together ? X

[Jenp2018 in reply to ClarabGlasgow]

thanks Clara, i did actually make him watch it don't think it had any effect on him.

[Dreamingofbaby]

Oh that so hard indeed. Hope he comes round to this as no matter what any outcome would still be your child. Take good care of u xx

[Jenp2018 in reply to Dreamingofbaby]

I know that's the thing I know he would love the child and be the best father. Thanks for the reply x

[haileyp85]

My partner and I struggled with the idea at first and it ended with us breaking up for a short time . We both did a lot of talking and decided to go ahead and trying with egg donation. Maybe talks to him about why he doesn’t want to use a donor x

[Jenp2018 in reply to haileyp85]

I wish you all the success with donor eggs and thanks for your reply. We are spoken about it and fought about it so many times at this stage it's draining. I

[Jen_jen]

Hi Jen, I’m sorry to hear this. I spoke to my husband about possibly going down DE if my own eggs didn’t work for us and I know he was not up for the idea which made me sad. I didn’t see a problem. He said he would rather adopt. Adoption would be my last option if DE didn’t work. Hopefully your husband will change his mind xx 😘

[Jenp2018 in reply to Jen_jen]

Thanks Jen, I don't even think he would adopt which makes me think he isn't really bothered about being a father. It's such a frustrating situation. Having online support is so great though and to know you aren't the only person going through the shit! I hope it all works out for you x

[CAS2]

Hello. If you are in the UK, why not go along to one of the Fertility Shows in London or Manchester? They have loads about donor eggs and it was a real eye opener and definitely something we decided to consider if we needed to. My OH was really surprised at how far they can go to match a donor for you! Good luck x