Donor Eggs

[Carmel1001]

Hi All,

New member here. I'm trying to figure out all the information available for donor eggs and wanted to ask members here for advice.

If I go abroad, and I'm lucky enough to get a BFP and give birth, can that child trace the donor? In countries like Spain, can you get donors who don't mind being contacted, possibly, in the future by the child?

Is it always the case that if I get treatment in the UK, donors are always traceable ?

I'm asking as I weigh up where to get treatment , I'm in two minds about using a donor the child cannot trace. I guess even if the donor details are known now, in 18 years they may be completely untraceable .

I'm also scared how I would tell the child .

But above all of this, I know any child I have through a DE would be loved and adored by me and my husband, I just want to do whats best for the child.

Thanks for your help.

[Abaco]

We're having treatment in Poland and it's totally anonymous there, We were told by an NHS consultant that in the uk, there is a 2 year waiting list for donor eggs and once the child reaches 18 they have a right to know the donors identity. Am unsure about other countries sorry. All the very best for your journey x

[Carmel1001 in reply to Abaco]

Best of luck with your treatment! Thank you for the advice! xxx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Carmel1001. You could try looking at dcnetwork.com that's Donor Conception Network who have lots of information which may help you. Hope all goes well for you. Diane

[Hollibob in reply to DianeArnold]

Think the website address is slightly different

dcnetwork.org

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK in reply to Hollibob]

Oops got my .com mixed with .org! Thanks Diane

[Carmel1001 in reply to DianeArnold]

Thank you xx

[Cinderella5]

Spain is anonymous donation so you may only get some basic characteristics like height, weight, hair colour, eye colour, blood type. So no there is no way for them to be traced. Its like this in most countries in Europe. In the UK donors are traceable but only once the child reaches 18 can they get the details. IF you choose to tell the child then there are some books that you can get for kids that are the result of egg donation. They come for all different ages so you can allow them to leaf through books to get the jist from an early age. The one I saw......mummy and daddy wanted a baby so badly and they were so sad, a kind lady helped them to have you and mummy and daddy were so happy.....you get the general idea....you can check them out online. There is another forum that has a lot of chats regarding egg donation, whether to tell, not to tell etc on Fertility Friends that may also help you. Good luck!xx

[Carmel1001 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thank you for the great advice xxx

[Hidden]

I agree with the others our hospital said its now legal in the UK for the child to know who the donor is when they turn 18. Im going to Cyprus for donor and its totally anonymous. They match hair colour, eye colour, height, blood group etc but thats all. Im the same i will love a child regardless as to whether they are donor or not and will probably explain to them at a young age. Hopefully they wont hate me for it! x

[Carmel1001 in reply to Hidden]

Best of luck in Cyprus and thanks for your reply! xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

I think the length of waiting list in the uk varies depending on where you go. My friend has just been a surrogate using a donor egg and the dads definitely didn’t wait two years for their donated eggs.

[Carmel1001 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Thanks for your reply, its given me lots to think about!

[Caroliono4]

Hi Carmel.

I'm currently having donor egg treatment in the NW and there was no waiting list at our clinic. It took about 3 weeks for us to find a match and as our cycles were relatively similar we started the treatment regime within a few days.

I have always been interested in family history, knowing where I came from etc. so wanted to make sure a child was able to find out this information, if they wanted.

The Donor Conception Network website was extremely helpful to us and, if we are lucky enough to conceive, I will use their books to explain to our child.

Good luck with whichever treatment course you decide xx

[Carmel1001 in reply to Caroliono4]

Best of luck with your treatment! And thank you for the advice! xx

[Caroliono4 in reply to Carmel1001]

Btw we are signed up to a multi cycle donor egg programme with Access which allows 3 fresh cycles and fets. Costs £16,500 with 70% refund if unsuccessful.

[AJJ123]

I had counselling when considering donating my eggs. Their advice to me was to make them aware that mummy had treatment from the doctor to enable her to have a baby from the earliest point, to be honest in the simplest way to avoid any future negative feelings (this related to me telling my current child and subsequent child to be about what I had done in order to have another baby and that there are people out there who matched their genetic make-up). In the end I didn’t go through with it, it takes someone who can detach and I couldn’t, If they came to my door at 18 I’d be worried I’d get too involved hence why I’m not a great candidate (in the UK they are informed at 16 and have the right to my personal information at 18) xx

[Carmel1001 in reply to AJJ123]

Thanks for your reply, its good to hear from the donor's side. I think its always best to be honest with yourself.

Being a donor is a world away from putting up your baby for adoption, but its still a very big decison. I'm hoping by the time my future baby (if I'm so lucky) gets to 18, it will be much more common to be born via donor and much more people will be adults who were born through anonymous or non-anonymous and able to support each other.

[AJJ123 in reply to Carmel1001]

I think I could do it for someone I knew, or knew up to the point of egg collection perhaps. If I needed an egg donor, it may sound hypocritical but I’d have no problem xx

[forMoira]

I chose to have treatment in the UK as it was important to me to give my child the option of tracing their biological heritage when they are 18. Of course it is more expensive in the UK than in Eastern Europe but I could afford it and felt that it was a really valuable thing for my child to have the option of looking into their genetic identity and heritage if they want to.

My brother is adopted and has never wanted to trace his birth mother but I think that being able to make that choice is important. I only had to wait a few months for a donor here. I feel grateful to her and also feel that she may also find resolution from the child being able to contact her in adulthood. Of course she may move away, but it is often still possible to trace people and who knows she may even keep the clinic updated on her location.

These are all personal choices. Good luck making your decision.

[Carmel1001 in reply to forMoira]

Thanks for your reply! I hope your treatment goes well. My partner is thinking we should go abroad , I think we're so used to failure, it would give us more go's if the first donor cycles don't work. But I'm much more comfortable about the idea of staying here and of course the tracing the genetic donor. A big decision to make. x

[forMoira in reply to Carmel1001]

I'm not sure it is much cheaper in Spain but I think it is cheaper in Eastern Europe. Maybe access fertility can help you if you want to fry one round in the UK. I paid £8500 but got some refunded as I had no embryos to freeze.

[Mantaray75]

I got my BFP today using an egg donor in Spain. It is totally anonymous and legally the clinic aren't allowed to give you more than basic info. We were told her height, weight, eye & hair colour, age, whether she had kids and why she wanted to donate.

There is no waiting list in Spain and the clinic were very professional.

Good luck with your choices.

x

[Carmel1001 in reply to Mantaray75]

Congrats to you!! I'm so happy for you!