Negative result

[Lynsey0312]

I had a negative result, started bleeding heavily at 9 days post transfer. Finding it difficult to keep smiling through and think I might take a long break before next cycle. I am very open with friends, family and work colleagues and don't know if this makes it harder as I then have to explain to everyone it hasn't worked. I just get so excited I can't help myself! How do others cope with the dissapointment and is it easier to handle if others aren't aware? X

[Klndmr]

Im so sorry you going through this hun ❤❤❤❤ I just experienced chemical last week. Im too open as well for everything and coming back to work and explaining everyone what happened was the hardest bit. I don't really think keeping it for yourself would make any difference. Grieve is grieve ❤ I thought about having a break as well but this week decided I dont need a break but carry on until i get what I'm fighting for! For me is always easier when I have a new plan and something to look forward to. But if you need time to recover take as much as you need! If you need to cry, cry if you want to break stuff just do it. You need to take it out and start fresh ❤❤❤❤❤ Sending millions hugs and positive vibes your and keep strong love our time will come xxxx

[Lynsey0312 in reply to Klndmr]

Thanks for your words. Will probably just carry on too once i've regrouped. And would probably struggle to contain my excitement even though it is devestating when it doesn't work. Good luck in your next go x

[LJW78]

I was very much the same after my first failed attempt. Started bleeding during the 2ww and lost my mind. This time round I'm trying to be much more balanced with my hope but it's incredibly hard.

I have to tell work so I can go to the appts etc but I've found this time I don't entertain any additional conversation about it. I'm keeping my mum informed of all the details but no one else really. I really do think that helps.

At the moment our single surviving embryo, out of the two collected, is in the lab at day 2 and I haven't thought of it all day. To be fair, I'm not that hopeful. But last cycle it's all I thought of CONSTANTLY. You do change. You can have a life outside of your head during a cycle. Don't give up! The next round will be different xx

[Lynsey0312 in reply to LJW78]

It's hard to reign the hope in as the whole process is hoping one thing or another works! I"ll try no to share as much but am an excitable blabber mouth. Good luck, all you need is one embryo no reason why the one you have can't be it! X

[Shirazlover2013 in reply to LJW78]

Just wanted to say best of luck to your little embryo, may it be a strong little fighter 💪🤞

[Cinderella5]

Im sorry to hear that you are going through this. I had a couple of cycles where i bled before OTD, its pretty gut wrenching. All my colleagues knew and a few friends and it is pretty rubbish having to tell everyone that it hasnt worked out so if you can, perhaps only tell a selective few next time. Im not quite sure how we pick ourselves up. Cry a lot, drink too much, eat too much, hug lots....treat yourselves to a night away in a few weeks to reward yourselves for getting through this crappy hell of a journey! Sending hugs.xx

[Lynsey0312 in reply to Cinderella5]

Good advice. I have arranged a weekend away to see a few bands I love, will use it as healing and get back into afterwards. If we weren't resilient before the process we sure get there during it x

[ADC2019]

Sorry it didnt work, it's heartbraking. I tend to keep these things to myself, my mum and a couple of friends know what is going on and i will answer questions if they ask but i dont tend to chat about it otherwise. I feel it's added pressure of everyone waiting for you to announce your pregnant. I got my BFN on sat and my husband was going out for the day, i wasnt handling it very well so after he left he called my friend to come over. Felt so much better after and i know i wouldn't have felt the same if it had just been me and my hubbie doing the chatting. Much as i like to keep things private sometimes you do need people to lean on. I also think if i let the people i work with know they might excuse me more when im a stroppy cow. Im not sure whats for the best. Hope you get over the next few weeks ok x

[Lynsey0312 in reply to ADC2019]

Sorry to hear you weren't successful, hopefully next time. I have found that through talking about my experience then I hear tales of other people who have been here and either been successful or not. I have been surprised at the amount of people who have had trouble conceiving. Can be reassuring but also a bit overwhelming too x

[Shirazlover2013]

Hi Lynsey, I’m with you hun. Had my 2nd BFN on Friday and am struggling with the pain, both physical and emotional right now. It’s just so shit.

I also have been pretty open with friends and all my family know. I’ve told my boss too so I can have days off for procedures and flexibility for appointments. I prefer for those around me to know why I have a face like grim death rather than pretend I’m ok. But that’s just me. No one really knows what we’re going through, my family try hard but often they just don’t get it and don’t know enough about the details of IVF. So I’m here helping others and asking for help for myself as this community know exactly how you feel, the good the bad and the downright ugly.

I’m just going through the motions of life for now, one day or hour at a time. I’m seeing my friends who I can bear to be near (not any trigger people) so I’m not left alone with my thoughts for too long. Night times are tough as that’s when my mind starts to go to dark places. 2 nights ago I was raging with anger at the unfairness of our situation, last night not even pain killers could take the edge off the cramps so I was camped out on the sofa drinking tea watching crap tv until 2am. Hopefully tonight will be better. Good luck to us over these next few days and weeks xx

[Lynsey0312 in reply to Shirazlover2013]

Crap tv and cups of tea are a great comfort. Sorry you are having a hard time too. My dad is really supportive but keeps referring to my imaginary babies which is not helpful! Hope you are more successful next time. Sending hugs x

[Rella22]

I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending you a big hug. I haven’t told anyone, including my family but this is our first IVF route. In the past I shared the excitement when TTC, especially during the TWW but with every negative it became difficult to discuss it. Eventually some people stopped asking. I do think support is important and helps with overcoming the hardships. I’m currently living abroad from my home country so it’s difficult not having my close family and friends. I say do what makes you comfortable and if it provides added support that’s amazing.

I’ll keep you in my thoughts and wishing you baby dust soon ❤️