Feeling broken after 4th negative res... - Fertility Network UK

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Feeling broken after 4th negative result!


So after another cycle another heartbreaking news of BFN this morning my mind is whizzing around. I cannot continue on this heartbreaking journey! Adoption is our next course of action but scares the hell out of me. Does anyone have any advice on the next steps?

29 Replies

Hi amie really sorry you ve had such a tough journey with ivf. My hubby and i are adopting we were approved a fortnight ago. You will most likely nd to wait 6 months after ivf before you d be accepted . Just do lots of reading on therepeutic parenting, look into what local agencies or authorities offer, consider is there anything you could do now. Any changes to your house, do u nd to save money, get childcare experience? Etc. Good luck xx

amie1 in reply to katya38

Thank you for your reply xx

amie1 in reply to amie1

And good luck xx

So sorry to hear this lovely, big hugs. Like you said your head is whizzing around give your self time to come to terms with everything. Have you had tests to see why your not getting pregnant have you had a biopsy of the womb lining are you sure you've exhausted every avenue possible adoption will have it's own heart breaks along the way too hun I don't know the system but I can imagine it's not an easy one. Give yourself time and treat yourself don't think too much. That's what I do every time I have a loss I look for ways I can mend this and end up suffering with insomnia because all I'm doing is thinking researching not been abke to rest. Take some relaxation time hun and just be good to yourself for now. Big hugs 💗💗🤗😘

amie1 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

Thank you! I have endometriosis and its my partners sperm count etc that's the issue. I will ask again at the clinic if anything else we can do but I'm not sure I can handle the physical and mental torture of it all again xx

AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to amie1

Iv got endo too hun. Bless you lovely. I'll pm you later and well have a chat if that's ok 💗🤗😘

I wish I could advise but I can’t. I just want to say sorry about your bfn. It must be so hard having had four. Very harsh. However you get your family, I wish you well on your journey xx

amie1 in reply to Tugsgirl

Thank you sweetie! X

Im so very sorry youve had another loss. You must be heartbroken! There are no words i can say to make this better but I wanted to let u know i am thinking of you. This world is a very unfair place xx

amie1 in reply to TTCs

That's lovely thank you x

TTCs in reply to amie1


Aw-amie1 I am so sorry. This journey is so cruel and unfair and one I will never understand. There are probably few words of comfort but we’re all thinking of you and whatever decision you make I wish you all the best. Big hugs.xx

amie1 in reply to Sharonl75

Thank you. I can never get over how cruel it is and the unanswered questions that plague our minds xx

So sorry to read this, I’ve looked into adoption and you have to be 6 months past treatment. Take some time to rebuild your strength, it’s so cruel xx

amie1 in reply to E_05

Thank you for your reply xx

My husband felt a lot better about adoption after we went to our local authority’s adoption information evening. (I was always pretty pro adoption). They are open events held every month, you can just show up or prebook so they know you’re coming. You can be at any stage of looking into the process; we were honest and said we were going to try more treatment first, and whilst they did say we would be best to wait six months after finishing treatment before starting to go through the adoption process, they still gave us loads of info and we got to talk to an adoptive parent about how it was all going too.

OK great thanks, yes I think we need to gather some more information from an evening like that xx

Definitely see what’s available in your local authority x

I’m so sorry that you have had this awful news today. I strongly considered adoption last year but my OH thought that we should give fertility treatment a shot first.

Take some time to process today’s news and good luck x

amie1 in reply to Kyell2

Thank you, you too x

Hi Amie1, I’m so sorry to hear about your result today, it is crushing. Although we haven’t looked down the adoption route yet, I hope you find support and advice on here xxx

amie1 in reply to 7AVA

Thank you, this forum helps so much, just to let it all out.

7AVA in reply to amie1

I agree, take care of yourself xxx

amie1 in reply to 7AVA

You too x

Amie I am so very sorry that you have had such a difficult time, I do understand how heartbreaking it is to experience one failed cycle after another. It can be soul destroying. Take good care of yourself at this difficult time and very best of luck for the future xo

Hey there hope you're doing. Don't stop fighting! I know it is exhausting but there are soo many other methods that you could opt for. Why don't you try IVF or surrogacy? All these treatments are pretty successful. In IVF the embryo will be artificially created in the lab with the help of your egg and DH's sperm which will then be placed in your uterus. You could also opt for surrogacy. This method will allow you to be genetically linked with the child which is really good. Make sure that whichever method you consider you get it done at a good clinic. On these forums, I have seen that a lot of people mention a clinic in Eastern Europe do check that out. I did personally conduct my own research as well and to my amazement, they offer great packages. The two packages are honestly so reasonable and so accommodating. Also, the legal framework is talked about in the first few meetings which I loved. However, make sure you do a proper research. And please don't lose hope till yet. All my warm wishes are with you, I hope you're soon able to conceive. Sending baby dust your way.

So sorry to hear this. Sending lots of love and hugs and hope you feel less heartbroken soon. Just think.. there is a child out there in need of a loving home that you are going to save soon and love immensely. Lots of love and hugs xxx

Oh, Annie! I am so sorry for your loss. I know what you're going through atm. Nothing is more painful them this. There's nothing I can say that will make your life good. It must be devastating for you after 4th though. You're in my prayers hon! This journey is very painful, I agree. But that doesn't mean you should give up and not try again. There are many successful techniques like IVF or surrogacy. Which can help you easily? Their success rate is very high. I m not against Adoption but the baby has not linked to you biologically in anyway, that is something that bothers me the most. When i couldn't conceive naturally, I selected Surrogacy for my problem. I had my surrogacy abroad. The clinic was the best I have ever seen, And the experience was great too. Good Luck! Much Love!

Thank you. I think I would be so jealous of a surrogate having my pregnancy. I think I need a good break from ivf for a while the thought of doing it all again at the moment is awful, I can't take the heart break xx

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