Devastated 😢😢. How could this be?

[Lindt83]

So last Sat was my OTD and I had an inconclusive result which was then confirmed to be a positive by the clinic on Mon. I tested this morning using Clear Blue Digital just to see if the weeks were progressing and it read the dreaded 'Not Pregnant'. I've not had any pregnancy symptoms apart from some occasional cramping. Not had an spotting/ bleeding. I think I've had a chemical pregnancy? I'm devastated, I don't know what to do! If I just had a negative from the beginning then it would be ok, but going from a positive to a negative is just so devastating. I've been so scared about it and that's why I didn't mention anything, I was fearing the worst which has now happened 😢😢

[Sarahmanc]

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It happened with my first round. Yeah it’s devastating and difficult to process. I too felt like I would’ve found it easier if it had been negative from the start rather than getting my hopes up. The only thing you can do is give it time - just because it happened once doesn’t mean it will happen again. Sending love xxx

[Lindt83 in reply to Sarahmanc]

Thank you for your message. I'm trying to be strong but I just can't right now. I found the whole IVF process so difficult and I don't know if/when I can go through with it all again 😢

[Sarahmanc in reply to Lindt83]

I felt the same - like I couldn’t even contemplate doing it again. But you can and you will. Just give it time xxx

[Lindt83 in reply to Sarahmanc]

Thank you xx

[Hidden]

I’m so very sorry for your loss. I had a chemical pregnancy in 2017 & like you I wish I hadn’t seen a positive test just to lose it. I had severe abdominal pain with heavy bleeding a day after my positive test then a scan a week or so later which confirmed the loss. It broke our hearts but eventually in time we tried to see it in a positive way at least we managed to conceive which we hadn’t managed in 6 years of TTC. Our fertility doctor reassured us we were just unlucky & that was no reason to suspect that it would happen again. He was right. I had another 2 surgeries ( in March & July) to treat my endometriosis as it was so bad I needed an endo surgeon ( had one already prior to falling) afterwards I fell again 13 months after our loss & am 33 weeks pregnant. I hope that can give you some hope you too can have a happy ending. I’m sure your rainbow baby is around the corner waiting for you 😍

Right now just take as much time as you need to grieve this loss there is no wrong or right here. You don’t have to make any decisions right now just be kind to yourselves it’s a horrible shock & a loss of a dream. It will take time to get through.

I hope you have lots of support around you. And I am thinking of you during this difficult time xxx

[Lindt83 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Jess for sharing your story with me and for trying to give me hope. I'm just so distraught at the moment and don't know what to do 😢

[Hidden in reply to Lindt83]

I know it’s so heartbreaking isn’t it. I cried & cried. It’s okay to feel sad you are entitled to grieve. I can remember it well, it felt like our world had come crashing down around us & I didn’t think I’d ever have the strength to keep trying. Time is the only healer. You will find the strength to keep going just give it time. Each day will get a little better. Again so sorry that you are going through this xxx

[Lindt83 in reply to Hidden]

I just feel so empty and lost. I don't want to feel like this. I know you're right though, I just need some time to get over it. Thanks for your positivity xx

[Lou7744]

I’m really sorry to read this, I went through a chemical pregnancy last September and found it really upsetting, much worse than getting a BFN from the start, and that’s not nice either.

Time definitely helps to heal as it’s so raw at the moment. Sending you big hugs 💕 xx

[Lindt83 in reply to Lou7744]

Thank you Lou. How did you get past it? I just don't know what to do 😢

[Lou7744 in reply to Lindt83]

Aww... I had many tears and felt truly gutted for a good few months. I’d really worked myself up over it. However I came to realise that no amount of tears or feeling like poop was going to change the outcome. It’s all so raw at the moment, take each day as it comes, be kind to yourself. You've done everything that you possibly can, it’s out of your control as to whether it will work or not. You will get stronger my lovely 💕 xx

[Lindt83 in reply to Lou7744]

I hope so, thank you so much for your lovely message xx

[MightyB]

Sorry to hear this.

Have you tried a non-digital one (which are more sensitive) or do you think there is no chance?

Like you I had a very very faint positive in my first cycle on OTD. But we got

a negative the next day, so only had one day of hope. We were devastated. That was September last year. Hopefully this gives you hope though - we did a second cycle and I got a BFP yesterday. It has been very hard but you have to hold out hope that you can get there in the end.

[Lindt83 in reply to MightyB]

Congrats on your BFP, hope it all works out good you 🤞. Would there be any point in using a non- digital one? They might give a positive result but that'll be a false result? Xx

[MightyB in reply to Lindt83]

I don't want to give you false hope, all I know is that the digital ones are a lot less sensitive. You can get false negatives but can't get false positives I believe.

[Lindt83 in reply to MightyB]

I used Clear Blue today because that's what I used on my OTD too. The others may be more sensitive, but if they show a positive it will probably mean it's still in my system but slowly dropping (hcg levels) xx

[MightyB in reply to Lindt83]

Oh I see. I am so sorry you are going through this. I know it is a horrible time after all the hard work of IVF.

[Lindt83 in reply to MightyB]

I know😢. Thank you for your support xx

[Olivia1980xxx]

Oh no hun 😔 Did u contact the clinic? Maybe they can do some blood test ? U have some cramps now and again but u didn’t have bleeding. I’m so sorry hun 😔xx

[Lindt83 in reply to Olivia1980xxx]

Yes, I called them this morning. I spoke with the out of hours doctor and they told me to stop the pessary. They said I should get bleeding within a week 😢 xx

[Olivia1980xxx in reply to Lindt83]

I don’t know what to say hun 😔 I’m so sorry 😔

Did u ask them for blood test ? Xx

[Lindt83 in reply to Olivia1980xxx]

No I didn't, I don't really see any point 😔 xx