How to feel when you have to admit something is wrong

[Kathryn1984]

So, after a miscarriage a year ago. My GP has referred me to fertility clinics (nhs). I just got home from work and the letter is there. I feel upset because I never wanted it to come to this, I thought I would get pregnant naturally again, like I did before. I really don’t think I’ve got the strength to do ivf. It’s taken me a year to be able to sort myself out after the miscarriage. I’m just so scared of it all. I know this is the very beginning of it all, but I’ve been trying over 2 years now, and it’s really taken it’s toll. I’ve got 6 options of where I go. How do I choose? I’ve said it before, but the strength you all show is incredible.

[Hidden]

I’m sorry for your loss it’s really difficult.

But I think it is positive you are being referred for a fertility specialist. Hopefully you will get some answers & get you closer to your miracle baby. Take it one step at a time. You might not need IVF.

I think for choosing clinics look live birth rates, perhaps visit the clinics, think about convenience such as mileage & parking to make it as less stressful as possible.

I think it’s natural to feel like this . I felt upset when we failed to conceive before referral to a fertility specialist but I’m so glad I did ( the second nhs fertility clinic) because without that I wouldn’t have had my endometriosis diagnosed & I wouldn’t be having a baby in 7 weeks time after a long 7 year struggle.My endometriosis made conceiving impossible but once it was treated I fell twice naturally ( one was a miscarriage in 2017& after 6 years of TTC)

I can’t comment on the IVF front but others I’m sure will put your mind at rest.

Good luck with it all xoxo

[Hollibob]

Don’t be scared...just see it as maybe getting some long awaited answers and a little helping hand.

You’ve been fighting for a long time and therefore you have the determination to carry on 🙂

Have a look on the HFEA website for info.

I would contact each clinic and request the same information from them to see how they respond and how you feel from that experience.

Also find out if they are having any free open days/evenings to look around and meet the staff...it nice to have a look and see what the feel of a place is like before turning up on day one for treatment

Obviously when you have the information, you can look at success results etc, but some base them on a positive test and others on live birth.

Take each day as it comes and don’t think of it as a massive hill x

[Hidden]

Hi Kathryn, I went through a patch of terror at the thought of having IVF, during the stage when I was coming to terms with not getting pregnant naturally . Although its not reached that stage for me yet with IVF the thing that's helped me is saying to myself, no one is making me do this, I don't have to do it, and if I chose not to then that's okay. Taking that burden off myself helped me to be consider it as an option without fear, and to be kinder to myself. Also a specialist I recently saw said something really helpful, looking at our test results he said despite a few questionable things but he had no doubt we would fall pregnant naturally at some point, but the question was when do we want a baby. We answered, well a couple of years ago. He said, well then, it's treatment you may want, to increase the chances of that happening soon. Somehow it helped me accept having treatment is a way of being kind to myself really ...

Hope that helps...

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