**Sensitive** BFP since 8dp6dt and huge anxiety after losses

[Kt8e21]

So I’ve been secretly testing since 8dp6dt after having 2 embryos transferred on the 30th June.

I’ve told my sister but I’m so worried to tell friends who know I’m doing this process after having had a previous chemical and 12 week miscarriage earlier this year.

I’ve been using boots own strips to see if there was a progression line and I think there is a difference?

I’ll be using another FRER tomorrow on my OTD to compare with the other one I took on Monday before I contact my clinic.

How do people cope with the worry and anxiety after previous losses? I feel like all the joy has been taken out of it.. even though I know I’m lucky as a lot of people struggle to implant.

[PRAYINGFORTHISTOWORK]

Exciting... there is defiantly progression there.. I know it is very hard not to worry but try and enjoy the moment, what every happens tomorrow, the next day will not change where you are today wether you enjoy it or worry, so i would say jump for joy this is an amazing result and I pray that it will continue to be positive news for you. Would you mind me asking your decision on transferring two? Was your clinic on board with this x

[Kt8e21 in reply to PRAYINGFORTHISTOWORK]

Hi thank you. I need to be more positive!

Yes my clinic was on board with it.. I had a meeting with the Dr after my last miscarriage and my worry was due to my age it was more likely the embryos were abnormal and I regrettably never had them tested. The Dr didn’t want to test them now incase they didn’t survive the thaw/refreeze. He also didn’t want to do other tests until I’d used my remaining embryos as ive already implanted. The plan was to test myself before my final IVF round and then test any embryos. As I had 4 frozen embryos left the plan was to do 2 double transfers as if I did them all single then it could take up to a year to transfer if they didn’t implant. I didn’t want to collect eggs in a years time when I’m a year older.. wanted to collect them when younger.. but the plan I bought means I can’t start next IVF round until all the embryos had been transferred. I really didn’t think one of these would implant as the grades weren’t great compared to my last one that implanted but miscarried. Hopefully if one/both have implanted they are fighters and keep growing!

[Kt8e21 in reply to Kt8e21]

Just to add I had a FET in May of a single embryo and that failed to implant.

[PRAYINGFORTHISTOWORK in reply to Kt8e21]

Thank you for your reply it is sooooo frustrating, it isnt until you start that you realise some decisions you made at the beginning now effect what choice you are having to make. I truly wished the clinics would inform you about the pros/cons of certain packages etc at the start so you can then weigh up all your options. I really dont understand the rule in having all the embroys transferred before being able to start again, it just isnt looking out for the individual, you should be able to have the choice. Anyway rant over and I really do hope this time is your time. What is the next step for you does the clinic take bloods for you? or do you just have to wait for a scan? x

[Kt8e21 in reply to PRAYINGFORTHISTOWORK]

Yeah it’s saved me a lot of money in the long run as all the FETs are included in original cost.. but wish I could have done the 2nd round sooner whilst I’m younger ish!

My clinic don’t do HCG blood tests so have to wait for the scan.

Hope your journey is going as well!

[PRAYINGFORTHISTOWORK in reply to Kt8e21]

Would your doctor not do the blood test for you? if you tell them how anxious you are? Just to give you that peace of mind, as I completely get how stressful the waiting can be. I'm on a journey but not my own one (although it feels like it) it's my daughter that is going through it, and it's been such a traumatic time for her. But on a positive note we have both learned so much and I just did not realise how difficult some peoples journeys are to become a parent x

[Kt8e21 in reply to PRAYINGFORTHISTOWORK]

I never thought to ask them.. but will do thanks!

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Kt. Wowser! That certainly is a positive. Hope all continues as it should. Diane

[Cinderella5]

Im so sorry for your losses.😪 I lost two pregnancies early on before we got our twins....I'm evidence that there is success after loss but there's no two ways about it.....its flipping hard. I think you just have to spend your days peeling yourself off the ceiling unfortunately. I used to think every bedtime, I've made it through another day. I'm so happy for you and I know it's early days but really hoping this works out for you!! Nice lines and congratulations.xxx

[Kt8e21 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thanks for sharing your story.. congrats on your twins! It’s great to hear positive stories after loss!

[Kmcdon]

Your post really resonates with me as I’m experiencing exactly the same thing. Two losses and just finding it really really hard. Just to up the ante my progesterone is a bit low so I’m 😢😢 . Cinderella5 your words always help so also thanks from me for your reply. Xx

[Kt8e21 in reply to Kmcdon]

When is your OTD? Has your clinic told you to increase your progesterone? They told me mine was borderline ok before transfer.. so I asked them if I could do the Lubion injection as well as the pessaries and they agreed. I had it last transfer as it was really low then.

[Kmcdon in reply to Kt8e21]

OTD was Monday. My clinic does a blood test so they tested progesterone as well. Slightly low so now on two utrogestan twice a day and two Prolutex a day. Previously only took one prolutex a day. Levels ok on day of transfer. Xx

[Kt8e21 in reply to Kmcdon]

Congrats on positive! Great they’ve upped it for you!

[Kmcdon in reply to Kt8e21]

Thank you. Xx Unfortunately not helping with the huge anxiety after two previous losses. Trying my best to distract myself but finding it hard. Good luck to you too. Xx

[Poop84]

hi lovely hope and wish you a bfp. OTD! Are your clinic taking HCG bloods? If not I’d push for this. It’s accurate to predict outcomes in early pregnancy ( no a gurantee of course) but I had the same when I had my chemical a few years ago. The hcg bloods helped the drs with focusing on my implantation issues. None of which k hope you have but hcg bloods are good to push for .

Keep us all posted lots and lots of lov me

[Kt8e21 in reply to Poop84]

Thank you! I’m calling today as it’s OTD.. going to ask them if they’ll do bloods. But don’t think it’s something they usually do unfortunately..

[Poop84 in reply to Kt8e21]

they can if your paying too. Or you can source a local private blood test.

Either way I agree with others they all look good line and strong!

I kno your anxious because of what happened before it’s okay and natural . Hence maybe a hcg bloods will help you. You’ll also get a early scan too I’d imagine at 6 weeks? X

[LouCollier]

Firstly HUGE CONGRATULATIONS!!

those lines look great.

Pregnancy after loss is hard (Previously had 3 miscarrages). You do literally have to take one day or hour or minute at a time. try to fill your days with stuff that you enjoy doing. A friend said to me worrying won't change the outcome so try to enjoy the moment (sometimes I could try to imbrace this other days I couldn't)

I would suggest private scans but even then for me that only lasted a couple of days (I had spotting with my son at 6, 7 and 10 weeks also and I thought for sure it was over again).

For me as time went on the anxiety eased a little the futher along I was and I enjoyed it more but I wish I could have embraced it, I felt like I was just waiting for the bad news...unfortunatley thats another thing that MC and infertility robs from you.

BUT my son is now 16 months old and is gorgous so know that you do have good outcomes.

[Kt8e21 in reply to LouCollier]

Thank you. I tested this morning on FRER and it was a dye stealer so it’s definitely getting stronger!

Yeah think I’ll be booking a private scan for after the initial one the clinic will give me. I just need the reassurance I think.

So sorry you had to go through losses.. but congratulations on your little boy! So good to hear positive outcomes after miscarriages!

[Banana77]

Many congratulations 🥳

[Kt8e21 in reply to Banana77]

Thank you

[Twiglet2]

it’s defo hard to believe it or even enjoy it at times after a loss but your line progression looks great and there’s no reason that this one won’t work just because of the past (I am proof of that as are many others). so all I could do was take one day at a time. You are pregnant today so try not think too far ahead at this point is what I found helped as that’s where my mind started spiralling! We didn’t tell anyone until 9 weeks (except my sister who had some kind of psychic sister sense at 6 weeks 🤣) do whatever calms your nerves whether it’s taking another test, having a private scan etc. or even doing things that distract you a bit too 😊🤗 work really made me focus on something else for parts of the day. Whispering congratulations 💜🥰 xx

[Kt8e21]

Thank you. I’ve done another test this morning and it’s a dye stealer on FRER so more positive. My close friends know about the IVF as needed people to talk to as doing this alone.. so think I’ll have to tell them soon as they’ll be asking how it went.. but going to let them know I’m taking one step at a time.. and keeping 🤞🏻that it keeps progressing!

Just read your having another egg collection soon.. Good luck!

[Twiglet2 in reply to Kt8e21]

That’s amazing a dye stealer already! hopefully your friends won’t ask if you aren’t volunteering any info yet and you can tell them when you are a bit more ready 🤗Amazing that you have them as support though but I felt the same about telling people, I felt like I would be letting everyone down if it didn’t work out somehow if they knew about it too! Honestly sometimes we are so hard on ourselves 🤪 xx

[Tally18]

Hi!

I’m exactly the same… 7dp5dt today and had a mmc and a failed transfer previously.

Im testing 3 times a day 🫣 Bcs I’m so worried the line gets lighter or disappears.

Very thankful for my husband who’s been so supportive even got me three boxes of extra tests lol

[Kt8e21 in reply to Tally18]

Ha ha.. he sounds great! Can never have enough! I’ve got 1 left and it’s a CB weeks indicator so going to try leave that until next week!

Good luck with your testing and hope the line keeps getting stronger for you!

[Tally18 in reply to Kt8e21]

thank you 🙏 fingers crossed for all of us!

[Pineapple14]

looks really positive. I understand your worry. I had an early loss a month ago and I’m afraid to even start again. Do you mind saying what grades they were? We have 3 left which are C and minus C which I didn’t even know you could get graded at.

[Kt8e21 in reply to Pineapple14]

Yeah it’s really hard to keep on going but I decided I just wanted to get moving due to my age.

My clinic grade them differently I don’t know which ones I had transferred.. he tried to explain but it was so complicated. I know I had the best out of the 5 transferred in April and it was a BFN. This time I had the next best 2 transferred and he was more interested in the implantation score they give them.. he said out of marks out of 10.. these 2 were given a 7 and a 5. (10 been most likely to implant).

FB23+, EB12, EB22, EXB32+ and FB22

These were the grades I had frozen and tried asking for him to translate into what other clinics would grade them as but he wouldn’t.

[Pineapple14]

Oh it really is so hard to understand. I had my top one transferred a couple of years ago which was BFN. Then next was a B which was my daughter. Then early loss with same grade when trying for second. Thank you for sharing trying after losses. Wishing you all the luck for your OTD and beyond xx

[herewego89]

<3