9dp 5day FET, anxiety, insomnia and feeling generally down

[Littleflower82]

Hi ya, I don't really have any questions, just feel like I need some support. This is my 4th transfer from 3 fresh cycles ( first fet). The title says it all, i know at this stage I prob could do a test but my otd isn't until Tuesday. I nearly feel like if I test early I will being myself bad luck ( I know this is silly, but it's how I feel), which makes me question my mental health. I cannot stay of the internet, Google and this forum. I can't sleep, literally think I I got 3 hours last night. I haven't felt like this any other cycle, is all the cycles beginning to take their toll. In dunno how much more of this I can mentally put myself through. Hopefully after Tuesday I won't have to do it again 🤞

[MissSaoPaulo]

Sending you some good vibes!! You know how the 2ww messes with your head, and you know that while it seems like it'll never end, you're almost there. I really hope this is the last one for you too xxx

[Littleflower82 in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Thank u x

[Starsandsunbeams]

It's hard isn't it. I have been waking most nights and then can't get back to sleep, but last night I slept right through for the first time in 4 nights. Have you tried any mediation or visualisation stuff? There are some good things on YouTube, it's hard to do at first if you're not used to mediation but if you can be still and focussed on that for a while, it may help calm your body and mind. There's also an app called Mindful IVF which I've found quite helpful. Hang in there, it's not easy is it xxx

[Littleflower82 in reply to Starsandsunbeams]

Hi ya thanks for the reply, I tried the mindful ivf app the last cycle, in might actually download it again for the last couple of days. I was so tired today slept in the afternoon, so prob will b up all night again tonight.x

[Kirmie]

How come you have to wait until Tuesday. I was told to test on day 14 from egg collection despite having a 5 day transfer.

[Littleflower82 in reply to Kirmie]

I'm not sure any of my 3day fresh transfers it was 14dp3dt, my previous fresh was a 5day and it was 10 days so I'm surprised this fet from a 5 day is 11days, sometime I think it depends what nurse gives u it tbh! I know I cud test now but I just feel so superstitious which is stupid, just 2 more sleeps now ( not that I'm getting much sleep)! X

[Cinderella5]

I think the more we do this the more nervous we get as we've already had our hopes and dream crushed before. It's a really tough time and I think we all go out of our minds a little so try not to worry about that bit! No advice really apart from try to get out doors....that is the only thing that keeps me from Googling.🙈 I also felt the fresh air long walks helped me sleep better at night too. Hang on in there, you're almost there....good luck!xx

[Littleflower82 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thanks Cinderella, it definitely has got harder for me with each transfer without a doubt! I met friends for lunch today and then had an afternoon nap. I think I am ringing into work sick tomorrow as I just don't feel myself, really anxious and edgy, I will take the dog for a nice long walk and hopefully tire myself out and clear my head. X

[Scarlett13]

I’m the same as you on every 2ww, very normal thoughts and behaviour. I tested in the afternoon of 10dp5dt with a FRER and got 2 strong lines so I think if you’re doing your own head in, test in the morning, hcg will be strong enough to get a result either way. You can then put yourself out of this limbo misery early or end up celebrating x

[Littleflower82 in reply to Scarlett13]

Hi ya, yeah in know I wud b able to test tomorrow, I'm actually surprised tomorrow wasn't my test date as it was 10dp5dt my last cycle, unless a fet is different but really 11days post isn't much difference. I'm. just superstitious now an think I can't test before the date they have give me, tho this time it is really tougher. How are u feeling? I'm sure ur just on cloud 9 xx

[Itsalongjourney26]

Hoping and praying for the BFP!! hang in there ❤️❤️❤️xx

[Littleflower82 in reply to Itsalongjourney26]

Thank u so much, I hope so too. I c u are N. Ireland, so am I. I assume ur clinic is the royal? U really need keep on at them for anything u want, so i wud question the endo query u have, they tend to use the nhs cycle as a 'trial run'. I learnt that the hard way. X

[Itsalongjourney26 in reply to Littleflower82]

Thank you for your advice. I'm seriously considering pushing things. Xx

[Hidden]

I haven’t got any advice ie IVF but I know what it is like to suffer badly with anxiety ( I have suffered with it during our 7 year struggle & during this pregnancy) We all have bad days but if there are more bad days than better ones( notice I don’t say good days this journey is so heartbreaking) does your clinic offer counselling as it can help?

I am wishing you the best I know you’ve had a really difficult journey. I really am hoping you get a BFP tomorrow & you can start putting this journey behind you. xoxo

[Littleflower82 in reply to Hidden]

Thank u, my clinic offers counselling but on live an hour away from it and have never availed of it. I will consider options tomorrow wen I know the result. Eirher way i think I will still need it.

Thanks for your well wishes, I will update tomorrow x

[SunnyDream]

My best wishes to you! My warmest hugs! Will keep my fingers crossed until your next update after otd. I know how hard it is, as have already had 2 bfn and just hate that waiting time! But still, we are fighters! Then fight! Be strong! I know, that everything will definitely be alright! Looking forward to your BFP!

[Littleflower82 in reply to SunnyDream]

Thank u, I hope your right xd

[sunshineyellow]

Sending you best of luck for tomorrow lovely lady xx

[Littleflower82 in reply to sunshineyellow]

Thank u, nervous wreck x