I think its over

[Nobabyyet]

Well that "spotting" earlier has turned into full on red blood and cramps. Can hardly see typing this. I can't believe this is happening. It feels so incredibly unfair. Waiting on my husband to get home to tell him whats been happening. So much money, and hope and emotions and effort...and so much luck getting to a 5 day quality blast that i felt sure it was bound to work. I wish i hadnt told people i was having ivf as cant face the barage of stupid comments that dont help. I can't face the pitiful looks. I can't deal with how devastated i know my poor husband is going to be. I have no idea how so many of you survive this and keep doing it.

[Mannjj43]

Gosh, so sorry to read this. No real advice but couldn't read and run. All I can say is that someday, somehow the pain and disappointment of all that hope and imagining does ease and you find the strength to move on. BFNs are heartbreaking, no other words for it. I hope you and your husband can be there for each other and help support each other until that time comes when the pain begins to fade. Good luck and take care of yourself. Xx

[Nobabyyet in reply to Mannjj43]

Thank you for your kind reply Mannjj43

[Hidden]

Don’t give up hope yet. I had full on blood and cramps during my 2ww. So much so I was convinced I had started my period, i was devastated. Did a preg test a few days later and I was pregnant.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you x

[Nobabyyet in reply to Hidden]

Thank you milly85. Still praying for a miracle. Big congratulations and thanks for your story of hope.x

[Hope76]

Sorry to hear this when is your OTD? I had blood & cramping my second week of 2ww and was shocked to get a BFP. It is not over until you test on that important date. Am keeping everything crossed for you 🤞🏼🙏🏻

[Nobabyyet in reply to Hope76]

Thank you. My otd is Tuesday (which is 10dp5dt) and i am currently on 6dp5dt so was 5 dpt yesterday when this started. This morning there is still bleeding. Very small amount but still pink/red. Also did a fmu test in desperation with first early response and no line. Still praying for a miracle so thanks for your message but i know this def. Doesnt look good.

[Hidden]

I am so sorry to read this. It is truly heartbreaking. It is also very unfair.

Just try and remember that you still have hope. The fact you have managed to produce quality blastocysts (which many couples can’t do) means you can create a good embryo which is the most important first step.

You might not feel it now, but there is always hope xx

[Nobabyyet in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Anna_88. Hard to think of positives right now but you are right there have been positive aspects to be grateful for. Thanks for your message.x

[aamiller405]

oh im so so sorry to be reading this post! Bless you, you must be devastated. Take care of yourself, hoping for a miracle for you xox

[Nobabyyet in reply to aamiller405]

Thank you aamiller405. Keep switching from devastation to deperately clinging to hope while theres even the tiniest of chance. Just wish i could get to tuesday/otd so i can deal with it properly.x

[aamiller405 in reply to Nobabyyet]

Aw I really hope things turn around for you.. Will be thinking of you, try and get plenty of rest in the mean time xo

[kirstyblue]

Is it just a small amount of pink or is it more like a period? X

[Nobabyyet in reply to kirstyblue]

Hi Kirstyblue. Right now its a small amount of pink/red blood but seems to be on a fairly continuous flow from yesterday evening. My periods do sometimes start out quite slowly. My body temperature has also increased a lot in past 48 hours. This also tends to be a sign of my period. Just praying it stops and will call clinic later this morning from work.

[kirstyblue in reply to Nobabyyet]

See how it goes. Spotting can be normal and if you are using pessaries this can also cause spotting. See how it goes. Hope everything works out for you x

[Nobabyyet in reply to kirstyblue]

Thanks

[Novice_knitter]

Oh hun I’m so sorry to read this, I’m not surprised you’re worried. I’m still praying for your BFP on 10dptf 🙏

If it gets to the end point and if things don’t work out - consider asking for advice for how you tell people. I had a good of friends that were full of stupid platitudes and so I texted them as a group and just asked for memes to chear me up. Wasn’t amazing but it avoided the platitudes.

Thinking of you and really hoping this is just part of the process to you getting your BFP xxx

[Nobabyyet in reply to Novice_knitter]

Lovely message and useful suggestion....think i'll def do that avoiding the platitudes tactic. Thank you.x

[Nodds]

It’s an ar5e isn’t it? Something similar happened to me last month, so I totally understand how you’re feeling. I found that it was the responsibility of making it work and the hope that it ‘could’ work which made it difficult when the results came through.

Unless you’ve been through it, no one will understand the raw emotion that treatment creates. Those people I did tell about the treatment; I told them that if they didn’t hear from me on testing day, then it didn’t work. This way, I didn’t have the pressure to keep them ‘up to date’, and I didn’t have to put up with the sympathy and empty words.

A month on, and we’ve booked a holiday, we’ve been to a few comedy nights, had lots of long walks with the dog and lazy days on the sofa. We’re both having reflexology and I’ve been researching our next step. Yes, it’s tough, but only the best are selected for this journey. Cry, laugh and love with your Husband. You’ve totally got this xx

[Nobabyyet in reply to Nodds]

Such a nice message. Thanks for your understanding. I cant really put things into words at the minute but can tell how much you get what i'm feeling from your own description and useful to hear your suggestions on how to cope. Thanks for taking the time to write it.x

[3005]

When I was getting spotting they said it’s normal in your 2ww, I would speak to your clinic as you still have a few days until your OTD, so don’t rule out the possibility of it still being ok.

Good luck for your OTD x

[Nobabyyet in reply to 3005]

Thank you so much and so sorry to hear you've had your bad news today. I hope you are okay and taking care of yourself. This IVF is so unfair and draining in every way. I hope you and your partner are looking after eachother.xx

[3005 in reply to Nobabyyet]

It really is!

Take care yourself and fingers crossed for Tuesday x

[amandac84]

I am so so sorry. I don’t think I have many words but sending you love and comfort! Xxx

[Nobabyyet in reply to amandac84]

Thank you. Hope your colds better. Fingers crossed for you.x

[Vatty]

I know exactly how you are feeling, we did our test last Sunday and it was negative. Absolutely gutted as feel it is our last and only hope. Do what you feel is right for you xx

[Nobabyyet in reply to Vatty]

Sorry to hear your bad news. It's crazy so much time,effort, money and emotions and then the wait for the final outcome that is litterally going to either make you ecstatic or crush you...no inbetween. I hope you are taking care of yourself. Thanks for the message/empathy.

[Purple_star]

Haven’t got any advice just wanted to say I’m so sorry this happened to you. Sending hugs to you. x

[Nobabyyet in reply to Purple_star]

Thank youPurple_star

[Hidden]

I am really sorry... It's not fair...

Please don't care about pitful looks, ignore people who don't help you, think only of you, be nice to yourself and read that you are amazing and strong and brave, because you are really those things and many more.

Lots of love

[Nobabyyet in reply to Hidden]

Lovely message thank you.xxx

[Hidden]

So sorry to read this. I don’t have any advice as it’s my first cycle and I’m a bit behind you, but truly thinking of you. Xxxxxx

[Nobabyyet]

Thanks so much. Good luck with your cycle.xx