Feel like a failure, should have a had a scan today - miscarriage

[2018hopeful]

Well today we should have been having our viability scan, I should have been 7 weeks tomoro. Just feel sad, disappointment and feel like a failure that I couldn't get our embryos this far. This date seemed ages away when it was booked, but it's sneaked up so quickly. We've been looking into adoption, and I feel that we're not gonna even be lucky enough to get that far. My hubby has had debt which he is paying off, but I worry that with his finances we'll be turned down. We're both in good secure jobs and are earning a good wage. Just waiting for the next thing to go wrong x x Having a pity day I think x x

[Rowly88]

I'm so sorry to hear your news, you are in no way a failure. Sending you lots of hugs xxx

[Hidden]

Aww don’t feel like a failure it’s not your fault at all. You have a good right to feel sad and disappointed it’s only natural.

Adoption wise my friend was bankrupt before adopting her boy if adoption is what U want don’t give up so easily it’s not an easy process but I’m sure there’s ways around issues.

I’ve 3 close friends who adopted ones just finished fostering babies did 5 years.

[kirstyblue]

You are not a failure! You have had the most horrible, cruel thing happen to you which sadly happens to so many women.

Adoption is a wonderful thing to do. It will be a very long process for you but Keep on going as it’s an incredible thing to do.

Stay strong and take care of yourself x

[aamiller405]

You are most certainly not a failure, adoption is a wonderful thing, I wish you all the best x

[MissSaoPaulo]

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You're grieving and of course everything looks negative at the moment, how could it be otherwise? Just focus on looking after yourself for now, physically and emotionally, and in a while you'll feel stronger to face the challenges ahead, so leave them to deal with until then xxx

[Caroliono4]

Please please don't feel like a failure. No one is at fault here, certainly not you. Sadly miscarriage is more common than we are led to believe, just nobody tells you this. If you want to move on to adoption then don't let anything hold you back x

[Hidden]

I understand that feeling but, as one of the midwives told me, remember you’re so much more than your fertility. It’s easy to lose sight of that after the analysis, tests, cycles and ups and downs. And I don’t think debt will prevent adoption. As long as you can show you manage your finances sufficiently to provide for a child it should be fine. Who doesn’t have debt these days?! Best wishes to you. X

[Hidden]

You are absolutely not a failure. Remember most MC are chromosomal and it means baby wouldn’t have survived anyway, it was natures way of saying not this time and it’s no ones fault. I am having a down day too, lots of posts on here about scans which I should have been having. So super thrilled for people genuinely but also reminds you what might have been.

Tomorrow will be a whole new day I promise and feel proud you are going down the adoption route xx

[Kyell2]

It’s funny how these dates implant themselves on your mind and it’s impossible to think of anything but the ‘what ifs’.

Sending lots of hugs your way xx

[emu2016]

Sending lots of love and hope for 2019. xx

[Novice_knitter]

So sorry, yesterday must have been really tough. Thinking of you and will pray for you.

Re- adoption - I’d imagine that if things are secure financially now and there’s a good track record of the debt being paid off (even if not paid off at time of application) then am hoping that this won’t come into any decision-making about adoption.

Xxx

[Novice_knitter in reply to Novice_knitter]

Ps - definitely not a failure, not something either if you had done xxx

[2018hopeful in reply to Novice_knitter]

Thank you, hope you're feeling well x

[Novice_knitter in reply to 2018hopeful]

All going ok so far hun 🙏 xx