Has anyone done or is about to do a double embryo transfer? I am transferring two embryos in my third FET in accordance with the NICE guidelines but I feel so judged, guilt tripped and spoken down to by everybody I’ve discussed it with and it’s really getting me down 😔 I’ve even been told that if I have a stillbirth or a disabled baby it will be my fault. I have fully researched the risks of twins and although some risks are double that of a single baby the overall chance of those things happening are still very small in % terms. Just wondered if anyone else was facing something similar or how you dealt with that? Xx
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2-shades-of-hope
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Hi there, I’m really sorry to read some of the comments that you have received when you’ve discussed a double transfer.
I’m currently in the 2ww of my 4th transfer, 3 of which have been double transfers. The chances for my age of having twins is low. When I had my first transfer, I did get pregnant with a singleton, but unfortunately had a miscarriage.
I personally believe that it is you and your partners decision and no-one else’s!!
Hi-I’ve always had double transfer except for my first round when I only got one embryo.
It doesn’t necessarily mean you’d have twins although that is a risk but my consultant advised to have a double transfer as it actually increases the chances of one taking and embedding by about 5% (so they said) and I would do anything to increase my chances of success. Good luck with whatever you decide but don’t let anyone’s judgment or opinion affect you. It’s up to you.x
Hi I’ve also transferred two in my last 3 cycles - did 1 first time only. Currently in 2ww from first fet. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for what is a very personal decision and just go for what you want and feel is best! X
Hi my love.... do what you think is best for you. I transferred two and only one embryo took and I’m now 34 weeks. If I had transferred one... would I be pregnant now? Who knows? But I’m glad I went with my heart. Go with your heart dear xxz
I am due to have ET on Monday - as I’m 41 the clinic have said their recommendation is for 2, but they’ll give us the option on transfer day of using 1. I think they also said it would depend on the quality of the embryos at transfer. Tbh if they recommend 2 that’s what we’ll go with. I can’t believe you’ve been judged for considering it when the clinics themselves recommend it! You sound like you’ve done your research - go with your instincts. It’s your decision, don’t let anyone make you feel bad for making it. This journey is hard enough without people chipping in with their negativity! Good luck xx
Thank you, that makes me feel better. We are all trying to do the best we can for our families/future families. Good luck with your transfer x
Don’t listen to anyone - it’s none of their business. I had a double transfer round one and a triple transfer round two, I did get a singleton BFP round two but sadly it ended in MC. I will do a double or triple next time. Just follow your instinct and ignore the rest of the world it’s nothing to do with them. Good luck x
Thank you, it does really help to hear that. I’m sorry to hear about your miscarriage, my last transfer ended in miscarriage too. I hope your next transfer goes well x
From our 2 good and 3 intermediate quality frozen blasts both embryologist and my fertility Dr recommended a 2/2/1 scheme for transfer, with one good and one intermediate transferred together. We were happy to go with that and I'm 17 weeks with the one that stuck from the first double transfer.
No one knows the future. None or one or both might stick. You don't know beforehand so you have to go with your gut. There's a lot of talk about twins and complications but as a perfectly healthy twin myself, I know that's not necessarily what's going to happen.
Thank you, that’s really good to hear especially as you are a twin too! Interesting that they transferred one good and one intermediate, that’s what will happen for us too as we only have one top grade left and the others have more fragmentation. Good luck with your pregnancy x
Oh no please don't listen to whoever is making you feel rubbish. We had a double transfer in our fresh round as well and are having another one next week providing our embryos survive the thaw. We actually stressed a great deal before our first transfer but in the end the clinic urged us to do a double transfer to increase our chances. None of them have stuck so far and if I could I'd put all 3 of them back! As bad as that sounds I've also learned to tell people less. Esp "non-IVF" people who don't understand what we're doing still like to give you their opinion and do scaremongering. You'll be absolutely fine. Good luck and I hope one of them sticks x
Thank you. That really helps. You are right that people don’t understand unless they’ve been there. Even medical people don’t always truly understand. Good luck with your next transfer xx
Opinions are like ar$eholes; everyone’s got one. Everything we do in life is a risk; from driving a car to eating bacon. The IVF journey is difficult enough without someone forcing their own opinions on us. I believe that for healthy women who are mid-to-upper age limit, we need to maximise all opportunities for a successful pregnancy and if that is a double transfer, so be it. Don’t doubt your instinct and push for what you believe in; it’s your body. Lots of luck xxx
I can’t believe you’re receiving comments like this from people. You’ve made this decision based on sound research and your own experience in your journey so far. Go with your gut and best of luck with your double transfer hun xxxx
I had 2 transferred 2 weeks ago based on the advice of the clinic. Unfortunately I had the BFN this weekend, but I thought a double transfer was fairly common to be honest? Who are these horrible people who are judging you? My advice would be to stop discussing it with them. Best of luck xx
I've had 2 double transfers, neither of which took. They were pretty much the best of a bad bunch each time though so it was really to double my chances of one taking so therefore the chance of twins etc was very low. Go on the advice of your consultant and no one else. To anyone who has anything negative to say to you just politely tell them you hope they'd never be in this position themselves where they would need to make this decision. Stay strong and positive and good luck! 🍀💜
I’m sorry your transfers did not work. Thank you, that is a really good response to tell others and is something I am going to use. I hope that your next steps go well x
Hi, Im really sorry you have such a hard time. The process is challenging enough and you really don't need additional pressure. If I can say smth from a bit different angle-these type of "advice" won't stop once you are pregnant. I'm 18 weeks now and mortified by the things people allow themselves to say to me regarding pregnancy and its scary to think what will happen once the baby is born. So considering this I would say to you pls learn to ignore what other people say as later it won't become any better! Welcome to the world of motherhood-where everyone just knows better than you Good luck with your transfer, stay calm and learn to use "middle finger" a bit more often:)))
Love that advice, you are right. I think this whole process has knocked my confidence and my judgement. I love your attitude and need a bit more of that! Congratulations on your pregnancy x
I’ve just had a double FET on Thurs, which is our second ICSI cycle. Just hoping one will stick and closing my ears to the naysayers. Good luck with yours!
Thank you for sharing your experience. Lovely that you have your daughter now. I’m sorry you went through a chemical pregnancy recently and hope everything works out for you next time x
Hiys, I had 2 eggs transferred. I had my reservations, but you are right, the percentage of something awful happening is very low. I was more concerned that my high graded egg would be affected by the low grade egg. The professionals assured me that this isn’t the case, but it was my choice. I had both transferred in and got a positive test, however, sadly I miscarried at 6 weeks. I don’t think it was the fault of the double transfer though, just one of those things.
I’m really sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I recently miscarried too and It’s horrible. It is good to know that the lower grade wouldn’t affect the higher grade embryo x
Hi 2-shades, I am about to have a double embryo transfer on 7th March. I did not ask for it but my consultant offered it and she seems to think it is unlikely they will both implant anyway - the point of doing a double is to increase the chances of one of them working. I am so sorry that people have been judging you. Mind you, my approach has been total secrecy (only my partner and medical professionals know about it). If anything goes wrong it will not be your fault. It is awful that people think like this... But not everybody does. Most people on here are really supportive and positive.
Also, risks are only risks - we all have some small risk of things going wrong and if the risks were big your NHS clinic would not let it go ahead.
Think about the positives of twins. Most twins are absolutely fine. You get two for one if it does happen and maybe that would be your family sorted and no more IVF procedures? And the babies themselves would have a super close sibling each.
Stay positive and ignore the negative nellies :-))
Thank you so much, it really helps to hear that. I think you have the right idea with secrecy. We are self funding too so ultimately if it was twins it would mean we would not have to pay out for a second (or more) round. I hope your transfer works out, we will (hopefully) be transferring end of March x
Disappointing that the comments you have received are so negative- were they from your clinic/GP? It's unfair enough to be going through the treatment in the first place, let alone have that kind of additional judgement piled on (it only gets worse when you're pregnant- so difficult being a woman!)
I am currently 23 weeks pregnant, and my IVF transfer was a double transfer (fresh). I just have one baby in there now, but baby is doing so well- everything in the right place and a very strong brain/spine/heart.
The annoying thing about medical stats is that professionals will always have to tell you even if there is only an 0.00000001% of something happening. Not always the most helpful when you are already stressing out about other things.
You know in your heart what the right thing to do for you is, and no one should make you feel that way- they just need to give you the facts so that you can make an informed choice without the side order of guilt.
Really hope everything works out for you lovely - lots of love to you xxx
Thank you so much. There was definitely a side order of guilt! The comments that upset me the most were from the patient coordinator who is non medical and counsellor who especially should be impartial. I do like them both and generally really happy with my clinic. Also from a friend 8 month pregnant with 2nd naturally who just doesn’t understand. Lovely to hear you are pregnant and that everything is going well x
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