After a bit of a setback I have now started on my meds for my next FET 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 on our mission for a sibling.
We have signed consent forms for both a single or double transfer and so all being well we can decide nearer the time. I was pretty set on going for two this time, my logic being that I’d rather be sat here in a year with two babies than no babies, and I figure the possibility of twins is pretty low.
However when I was speaking to the nurse yesterday after my baseline scan she kept going through all the risks with me which has really worried me, some of which were… more likely to miscarry, premature birth which could cause developmental issues, could split and have triplets! if there’s an issue with one you wouldn’t know which one, and also the difficulties of two babies. It’s now scared me a little bit, but we would really like to go for two still and I think how likely is it really!?!
Would really appreciate anyone’s thoughts and experiences.
Thank you
🤞🏻💕🌈 xxx
Written by
Daisy-Delilah
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I have 3 embryos frozen and there is absolutely no way I would do a double because for me, the **tiny** risk of twins is not worth it.
I know it was would be insanely hard, because my husband works weekends and I would be struggling with 2 babies and a toddler.... (we're trying for number 2 also).
But that is just me, I know myself well enough to know it would be a nightmare so I don't want that risk! (obviously if one split I'd be very happy to have 2 rather than none like you say - but I can't opt for that possibility knowingly!!)
I definitely know what you mean. My husband is often leaving for work before our toddler gets up and back once he’s in bed, so it would be mega tough and that’s why we didn’t go for doubles originally. It’s been a tough year and so I’m wondering whether if it did happen we’d just figure it out somehow 🤷🏼♀️🤪 xxx
It's definitely not a small risk of twins lol we transferred 2 and they will be 2 in June and currently causing carnage in my living room haha! My pregnancy was perfect no issues at all and they are so worth all the hard work! I wouldn't change a single thing and considering me and my partner to be the luckiest mummy and daddy in the world 💕 All the risks for preterm labour etc are still there with 1 baby they are just a little higher with twins. My friend was pregnant the same time as me and I went longer than her lol good luck with your choice x
hey, I had two very close together after years of infertility and ivf I conceived naturally a complete miracle and after he was born I thought if I’m ever lucky enough to have another it’s going to be perhaps easier to achieve this in first year after having one. So we just decided not to use contraception and when he was 6 months old I conceived naturally again (was in the process of consultations with ivf clinic again to get started) there is 14 months between them and tbh I didn’t think about just how hard work it would be as I just felt so grateful to have fallen pregnant again. So when she arrived it was definitely overwhelming and took time to adjust to two so small but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I think you sometimes have to go with your gut feeling and know how strong you already are with everything you’ve been through to get your first.
Hi I had double transfer fresh embryo 6AA and 5 AA. I'm 41 I did risk it but only one embryo stick though on seven weks scan they could recognize 2 gestational sacks but only one heartbeat. So it depends I took that responsibility they could be 2 and I didn't regret.
hi lovely that’s exciting you are getting ready to start!! As you I know I’ve had a mixture of one or 2 to ver many transfers 🤪and we literally decided on Tuesday whilst sitting gowned up to go in for transfer whether we were doing 1 or 2 again! I think it depends on a few things for me but different on each occasion:
- do you feel your environment is spot on this time (all signs great prior to transfer) to risk putting 2 back in there
- what are the gradings of the 2 embryos (there is evidence starting to emerge that my consultant also highlighted to us that one not so great embryo can affect the development of a good one and as we have had some early chemicals with every double we’ve done we are worried this is what’s happening)
- if you do a double transfer do you still have more left in the freezer? I enjoy the comfort of having something frozen during the 2WW as it lifts the pressure a little.
- all the multiple risks you’ve discussed weighed up against the slightly improved odds of that transfer working. The risks to you and babies if it were twins not just during pregnancy but also after of born premature etc. there are many twins in my family so I’m a little more relaxed about that one but at over 40 with already increased risk it is one need to consider
We decided to go for one this time around but we were literally about to toss a coin and the consultant was the same so there is no right or wrong answer lovely and if you feel adamant and it’s an itch you need to scratch that might be best to listen to your gut xxx 😘
Hi hun, lovely to hear from you! And so good to hear you have a little embaby on board!
Thank you for all the useful information.
We will definitely take environmentbinto account, we were going to transfer last time but I ovulated earlier than my trigger and we didn’t know when so it was a bit of a risk and we just went for one in the end.
I will defo check the grading of the embryos as I hadn’t thought of that before. We’re lucky that we have quite a few in the freezer and so hopefully we could do two the same grade. That’s partly the reason we are thinking of doing two, that we might as well just go for it!
I hope you are surviving the 2WW. Keeping everything crossed for you! 🤞🏻💕🤞🏻💕 xxx
hi my daughter only had two frozen and because she was a poor responder and these were untested she decided to trf the two so she could start the whole process again as she was sure it wouldn’t work, and was happy to take that risk. She has just given birth to two healthy boys, the pregnancy was ok she just had a lot more monitoring and scans which was in fact nice to help put her mind at ease. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide x
I had 3 transfers of 1 which never worked and 2 tranfers of 2 which never worked and 1 transfer of 2 and they are now nearly two. I was calm through the whole pregnancy, and then 1 day before the planned c-section, it all went horribly wrong and we had to have an emergency c-section. My son spent 2 weeks in NICU, but is now perfectly fine. My daughter was always fine.
My grandmother also had twins, naturally, and she was apprently told that one will die. Before I had my twins, I though what a horrible thing to say. After I had my twins, I get it, you have to be prepared for that.
You also have to be prepared for a c-section. If the twin lower down does not turn in time, you will have to have one. There is no option of turning like with one.
BUT aside from all that, it is manic and hell, but I have never had time to stress about the small stuff and they do come wiht a built-in playmate.
Most interestingly my multiples specialist told me that it doesn't matter how many ambryos you put in, if you are genetically programmed to have twins you will, if not you won't.
Thank you for the response. Im so pleased your little boy is ok now ❤️
That is so interesting! I’ve never heard that about being genetically programmed to have multiples or not- and I didn’t know there was such a thing as a multiples specialist- where was this at?
This is really useful to know. In regards to c section I would have to have one after issues with my first, so I’m prepared for that.
Could you have all the normal tests that they do for chromosomes issues etc? Or can they not tell because it’s twins?
We were at Dorset County Hospital (UK). At least here, if you are pregnant with twins, you automatically have a twin team look after you as well as your midwife. We had scans every 2 weeks as my son was always a bit smaller than my daughter. I am not sure if that was his actual title, but he totally told me that putting two embryos in changes nothing. Not sure agree with him totally.
You can have all the normal tests, BUT if you have fraternal twins like ours, the test results could be different. This was something that I have to be honest floored me. What if one had Down syndrome and the other doesn't or even worse, one of the syndromes where they cannot survive outside the womb. The first scans literally everyone in the room was holding their breath, even the sonographer. So for example for the NIP test my sons chances of having Downs were higher than my daughters. Both quite low still.
The other things that got to me, were how different they are. Like literally night and day.
And be prepared that everyone feels like they can comment and look into your pram. So Double Trouble, You really do have your hands full and I wouldn't be able to cope, get old really fast.
On the upside you will have random people approach you and tell them about their twins, like it is a little cult you now belong to. I have met a man in my local supermarket who had 2 sets of twins 2 years apart. I asked him how he coped and he reckons he cannot remember 5 years of his life.
We also had a transfer of 2, but were offered it on the day of transfer as one embryo was good but the other hadn’t fully got there yet, and we didn’t want to risk it not being good enough to freeze.
The consent form scared my partner a little, but being a twin myself, it was a no brainer for me - being a twin is such an amazing privilege and a real gift that you can offer a child. When we discussed the chance of triplets with the embryologist, she said it had only happened once in the years she’d been doing it, so she deemed that very low risk. And so my partner then happily signed the forms. We were also happy that it would be a second pregnancy for me, so less risk and strain on my body.
My sister and I (non-identical) were also my mums second pregnancy, born naturally and weighing 4lb2oz and 6lb4oz, so healthy and no problems.
They always say it’s harder to go from no children to 1 child than 1 child to 2 (or 3).
Do what you feel most comfortable with 😊. I would say if we could have frozen one then we would have done that, to give ourselves another chance with a 2nd transfer xx
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