Struggling - delayed transfer

[Leo2017]

Sorry in advance for the pity post!! 😢Congrats ladies who have had good news and best of luck to to everyone else still on this journey!!

On Thur we had 4 ‘lovely’ embies at Day 3, which were left then to Sat for Day 5!! On our way to hosp (we have 4hr journey) we got the devastating call to say 3 had stopped developing and the 4th was an early blast so they needed to give it longer!! App’mnt pushed back 3hrs, by which time embie had developed into a 2bb but my lining was too thin to transfer!! 😢 We’ve had to freeze the embie, stop all meds and start progynova as soon as I bleed for a frozen cycle!!

Sat really was one of the toughest days we’ve had, and this is our 4th cycle with 3 miscarriages last year - I think it’s all so real now that at 41 in the next couple of weeks this is not going to work for us!! 💔 so broken by it all and never felt so lonely!! Hence reaching out to you lovely ladies who can relate to this horrendous journey!!

Sending love and strength to you all!! xx

[Dunla]

Hi Leo, I’m so sorry to hear of your losses last year. I can’t imagine how difficult that has been for you. It’s totally understandable that Saturday was such a tough day for you. Sending you a very tight hug xx

[Leo2017 in reply to Dunla]

Thank you Dunla, i feel guilty for feeling so low when we do have one frozen but I’ve just no positivity left in me at the moment!

I hope you’re doing well!! xx

[Dunla in reply to Leo2017]

Don’t feel guilty! You’ve been through so much and you build yourself up so much during a cycle, it’s so disheartening when you experience a set back. Focus on yourself for a bit and then you can begin to prepare for a FET xx

[Nobabyyet]

Hi. So sorry to hear. I'm waiting to start my 1st IVF later in Feb and the its such a strong feeling when i read others posts both good and bad as you can totally imagine how you might feel in that situation. That's devastating and i'm so sorry you've had another failed cycle. It's true what they say that when you sign up to the IVF journey you are stuck on it and at its mercy. I pray that i'll be lucky but at 38 with both male and female factors i have no idea what this will put me and my relationship through. Take care of yourself. Nobody should have to go through what you are going through.x

[Leo2017 in reply to Nobabyyet]

Thank you for you lovely message - and that is so true about being stuck at it’s mercy!! One of the areas I’ve struggled most with is the complete lack of control!!

You’ll get through this and your first cycle should be rightly full of hope and positivity - I pray you get your bfp!! Sending love and strength your way!! xx

[Nobabyyet in reply to Leo2017]

Thank you.x

[Cinderella5]

Ahhh Leo, Im so sorry! Its so horrible to build up to transfer and for nothing to happen....so upsetting even if you know its for the best! This whole thing is so out of control and with your previous losses, it must make things even harder to bear. I know its hard but try to focus on the fact that you have a lovely frostie and it wont be long until you are reunited! Massive hugs lovel;y!xx

[Leo2017 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thank you Cinderella, this journey is just so cruel 💔 - but I don’t need to tell you that!!

Really hope you’re getting through the 2ww and sending positive thoughts your way!! Really hope you get your bfp!! 🤞🏻Xx

[Cinderella5 in reply to Leo2017]

Well I can't say I've had lots of heartbreak compared yo some but yes it's a tough & very tiring journey so far.....I feel you!😔😘

I'm doing ok thank you, feeling positive sometimes and not so much others....you just wonder what hoops you need to jump through to get pregnant....who knew eh?!😥 Hopefully we'll get there!!🤞xxx

[Faith27]

Bless you!! During all of this, you are still wishing other people the best of luck and commenting on other stories about having strength - which just shows what a lovely person you are. It always seems to happen to the nice people (if I do include myself in this shitty journey which has by NO means been anything like yours).

It's heartbreaking that you have had so much bad news, again and again. I'm really sorry to read what you are going through. You truly deserve to wear your pitty pants for a while if you feel you need to!! Sometimes you have to put them on, to get the strength to go into the next stage.. Hopefully the frozen transfer will bring you some hope again as time comes around but until then.. hot bath and pitty pants until you are feeling ready to take them off.

It's a strength in itself to say you aren't ok and it makes us better in the long run. Glad to see your reaching out during this time when you are feeling lonely but remember it's ok to put yourself first and it's definitely ok to not be OK . You're a tough cookie and you will pick yourself back up - with your partners support, when you feel able to I'm sure xx best of luck xx

[Leo2017 in reply to Faith27]

Thank you for your lovely kind message!!

Your right about pity pants, sometimes you just need some time like that and it strengthens me to get up and fight again!!

Sending you all the luck for your journey and very much hope you get your bfp!! xx

[Penders]

Oh hunny I've been meaning to message you as I've not been online and wasn't sure if I'd missed any updates. I'm sorry that it's not gone to plan so far, I would be feeling upset too you've had so much to deal with this last year. This whole journey is just so rubbish and heartbreaking at times. Will be keeping everything crossed for that little embie when it's time to do your fet. Sending you big hugs and lots of love xxxx

[Leo2017 in reply to Penders]

Thank you Penders!! It really is the most heartbreakingly cruel journey!!

I really hope you’re starting to enjoy your pregnancy now and relaxing a little!! xx