Missed miscarriage

[Beingme]

Hi all,

After a failed IVF cycle we were shocked at Christmas to find out I was pregnant naturally.

Unfortunately we discovered last week that the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks and there was no heartbeat, I should be at 9 weeks tomorrow. The hospital told me to wait for the miscarriage to happen naturally and go back in two weeks if nothing has happened. I have no aches, pain or bleeding and have read that many women can take weeks to miscarry.

I am finding each day of waiting harder and am contemplating going back to the EPU to ask for medication to speed up the process as I would like to be able to move on from this and waiting seems to cruel. Any advice would be welcome. Thanks.

[MrsFitz17]

I'm really sorry you're going through this, it's just awful and I know exactly how you feel as I found out last week at my 12 week scan that the baby had stopped growing at about 8 weeks. I had surgical management last wednesday and the operation was fine and I've not been in much pain at all and not had much bleeding. I would contact your hospital again and talk through the options again. If you want to message me that's fine xx

[Beingme in reply to MrsFitz17]

I’m so sorry for your loss MrsFitz17, sending you lots of strength. I’m glad the operation didn’t cause much pain or bleeding. Thanks for sharing your story with me xx

[Hidden]

Hi, just to say so sorry you are going through this - we are going through the same only it was our second cycle of IVF that brought us our BFP. I had a heartbeat at 6+5 but went for a follow up scan at 8+5 and there was no longer a heartbeat. I have waited nearly a week and have literally just got home from another scan at our IVF clinic where I should have been 9+4 but instead still no heartbeat and no growth. The scan also showed there was no progress in terms of the MC and no sign of anything happening any time soon so they have referred me to EPU on Weds... ironically for ANOTHER scan! FFS. I just want closure.

I had been told by my IVF clinic I couldn't be rescanned until Friday but like you I needed to speed this along and instinctively knew it wasnt going to happen on its own. I only hope now EPU will allow me to take the meds or have surgery and not make me wait for another 2 weeks. I am not sleeping, drinking too much wine and basically completely stressed by it all. Wanted to send you huge hugs and say I would wait a week and then go back - I don't think its fair making you wait 2 weeks. Good luck xx

[Beingme in reply to Hidden]

Oh I’m so sorry Daisy1245. I also had to be scanned twice as my first scan was a private one. I found my local EPU we’re not so sympathetic and even asked why I’d come in when I wasn’t in pain or bleeding. So I’m not so keen on going back to them for advice since they just told me to come back in two weeks. So my advice would to stick to your guns and don’t get forced into waiting longer if you don’t want to. It’s so difficult waiting for the inevitable, and makes it so much harder to start to recover from this. Sending you hugs back, take care xx

[Hidden in reply to Beingme]

Oh gosh how awful, its so terrible we are just on a conveyor belt - the least you should be able to expect is empathetic treatment and some sympathy.

I can see why you wouldn't want to go back but much like you are telling me to be firm I definitely think you should too.. you know your body and some people may find it easier to wait it out some of us know we won't and we should be given the treatment that is right for our body and our minds.

Really hope they help you xx

[Hidden in reply to Beingme]

Hi beingme so sorry for your loss x EPU have to tell you to come back in 2w incase there is growth or they’re wrong!

I’ve had 2 Natural and 1 MVA which I have to say the MVA was the easiest option didn’t bleed much after and didn’t have as much cramps or the awful passing of clots. It’s a d&c but your awake with local anaesthetic. Hope you get sorted soon the waiting is a pain you just want it over. Xx

[Hidden]

Aw so sorry to hear this. It’s all just so unfair.

I had a mmc in November which was found on a scan at our local EPU. I thought I was 9+1 but they measured 7+4 and 8+3. I had medical management as I too needed it to be over and get some closure. I waited 3 days for a bed then had an overnight stay whilst waiting for it to happen. This was the best thing as it kept me out of the way of our daughter whilst it happened and meant I got adequate pain relief. Unfortunately it wasn’t entirely successful and it still dragged on for another 2 weeks but it did get things started. I had a a 3 week sick note from the hospital which really helped too.

So sorry you are having to go through this, I hope it happens soon for you or you get a plan on moving forward. Lots of love xx

[Cinderella5]

I'm so sorry for your loss.💔Thinking of you.xx

[Elynn]

So sorry to hear this...hope you have loving support.

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry for your devastating loss. I had a loss but it was early & complete by the 6 week scan, so I can’t advise on practical steps. I can’t imagine your shock to go in thinking everything was okay 😢It’s heartbreaking & only time will make this bearable. Truly awful experience for a women to go through 💔😢it is one day at a time & I promise this will get easier ❤️ please remember just because this pregnancy didn’t work out doesn’t mean the next pregnancy wouldn’t. In time we chose to see our early loss as progress on this journey; we managed to conceive after 6 years of not managing too! 13 months after & 2 surgeries later we conceived again & I am now 21 weeks pregnant with a little girl( hope that gives you hope & I have terrible endometriosis) This is not the end for you, you will fall again & have a happier outcome ❤️ most women that miscarry will go on to have a healthy baby ❤️ I hope you have lots of support around you during this difficult time. xoxo

[Hidden]

I had a missed misscarriage at 10 weeks two years ago, I was recommended by one of the nurses to push for a D&C asap as she had had one and said it wasn't nice to misscarry that late.... I had a D&C 3 days after my scan and it was the longest and most upsetting 3 days, I really feel for you waiting over a week! Once I had the D&C I felt so much better like it was over, obviously mentally I'm still not over it but at least your body can recover. The D&C was quick and wasn't painful after at all and didn't even bleed much, there are risks but discuss this with your doctor and ask how many procedures they have done to get a picture of how experienced they are with this. Do what you need to do, if you can't cope any more go and ask for something to be done! ♥️ I hope you get something sorted xxxxxxxxxxxxxx