since my last post a few months ago a lot has happened. I felt really really bad then and I took your advice to go to counselling, which really helped me. I also started to talk with my family and since then I am almost feeling relieved and further supported. I want to thank everybody here who shared nice and supporting words with me.
Since my Clomifen treatment did not not reliably work, I had now 2 cycles being monitored with a trigger shot. and now I am here waiting for my period to come. I am 12 days after ovulation now (ovulation was confirmed by blood tests) and I am expecting my period today. So far nothing. I know that this can have a lot of reasons. I dont want to test at all, I am pretty sure it is negative. But I have absolutely no idea how to survive the next couple of days. I am telling myself all of the time it did not work, but obviously there is hope.
Maybe there is somebody out in the same situation to help me?