My whole world has just collapsed! - Fertility Network UK

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My whole world has just collapsed!

hifer profile image

I have just found out tonight after my second scan, just before 9 weeks, that we’ve lost the heartbeat. I am absolutely devastated. I feel like my whole world has just collapsed. I’m by no means not the only person to go through this on here so please let me know how you get through this and come out the other side? I cannot see any light at the moment :-( Any advice greatly appreciated x

37 Replies

I just want to say how sorry I am to read this. Sending you love and support at this very difficult time 😔xx

I'm so sorry for your loss. And hope that you know how wrong you are! I have not yet had this but I've miscarried naturally and worried IVF will do the same. My thoughts are with you x

hifer profile image
hifer in reply to Jo_Se

Sorry for your loss too. If it’s any help to you at all, the doctor said that there is absolutely no more probability of miscarrying with IVF as there is conceiving naturally. Xx

I’m so sorry to hear this xxx

❤️ xxx


I'm just so so sorry. This is heart breaking.

I've not been through this so I can't offer advice but please look after yourself.

Sending you so much love. Xxxx

Just sending you huge hugs.

All I can say is just give yourself time ❤❤

This happen to us at the same stage back in March. I felt like my world had ended and couldn’t imagine anything worse. I promise time is a great healer. Family and friends got us through this time. But take it at your own pace. Do what u need to do and be selfish. Always here to talk xxx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply to Justus1

Thank you so much for sharing. That’s very kind and good to know. Did anything help other than talking about it? Xx

Justus1 profile image
Justus1 in reply to hifer

I had to wait over a week or so to have my D and C. Which was really hard. Until that point I couldn’t move forward if that makes sense!! Once the d and c was done, it got easier but it was over time. When I slowly started to feel a little up for it I started to plan things in for the coming weeks and months, so I had something to look forward too. Spending time with my hubby also was my saver, just watching movies and chilling a weird way it’s made us closer. Just do what feels right for u. Your body will be going through a lot emotional and physically. I found the emotional stuff harder than physical. There is no right or wrong. I’m always here, if you need to talk x just message me xx

hifer profile image
hifer in reply to Justus1

Thank you. Yes I can see how it would make you closer. I’m already feeling that way. Yes I just need to go through the actual process of miscarrying now!! X

Justus1 profile image
Justus1 in reply to hifer

Just give yourself time. Have you seen your gp?

hifer profile image
hifer in reply to Justus1

Seeing him first thing in the morning. Then I guess we’ll go through the options x

Justus1 profile image
Justus1 in reply to hifer

Be thinking of you. Message me if you need too x

I’m so sorry to read this, how

devastating for you. Sending you lots of hugs xx

I’m so so sorry, it is just heartbreaking 😞 after my first I was in absolute shock, we went for a long weekend away where I cried most of the time, I just needed to be away from my house and normality. After that I wrote a lot and painted, but most helpful was seeing my counsellor and being honest with myself and others that I was bloody sad, and bit by bit my husband and I pieced our hearts back together. You will get through this eventually. My heart goes out to you xxx

Hi I’m so sorry to read this 😪 I’ve been through this twice it’s heartbreaking.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you big hugs at this difficult time. All I will say is don’t bottle it up and cry when you need too. Xx

I am really sorry to read this and want you to know I'm thinking about you. I have suffered 3 losses and unfortunately am only too aware how difficult it is for you right now. There is no easy fix. In time, the rawness of the grief/loss will ease and there will always be good days and bad days for a long time. Please know you aren't alone in all this. We are all here for you. Talking helps. Take the time to grieve, cry and don't hide your feelings. Be kind to yourself. Do what makes you happy. Treat yourself. Lean on close family/friends who offer their support. I really feel for you going through this. With my last loss in March 2017 I felt down for a long time and was so traumatised and disappointed I felt I could no longer cope anymore. It was awful. My husband was my rock. Also my faith helped. I tried doing things which helped my mood-walks in fresh air, listening to music, going to places e.g. park, sea-side etc. You will get through all this. Sending you a hug. Take care. I am here if you need a chat. Xo

Sorry my loss was at 8 weeks

Just reading your post and the ones of these ladies has brought tears to my eyes and brings back the sadness that losses such as yours brings us. I have had 4 early losses and it doesn’t get easier. The main thing is make sure you grieve and don’t bottle it up - the crying will start and stop and start again’s the process you have to go through. Have you decided whether you will go naturally or D&C. I did two of each but for me ( and it’s very personal) the natural ones helped me grieve better as the D&C is so clinical and it removed me from what was really happening. Anyway yes be kind to yourself, it too brought myself and my husband closer together too as some of the other women have said. Feel free to pm me if you want to anytime, we are all here to support you. X

hifer profile image
hifer in reply to londonrc

Thank you. I’m not too sure what’s available to me at the moment. I’ve got a doctors appointment first thing tomorrow. My fiancée has been a total rock. I’m concerned how he’s coping for himself.


londonrc profile image
londonrc in reply to hifer

That’s great, he is being strong for you which is lovely. In time you can talk to him about how he is feeling, he is probably blocking it out to support you as I am sure he just hates seeing you so upset. You both will get through it and you will get pregnant again. X

Hello there, I haven’t been in your situation but I just wanted to say how very sorry I am for your loss. Thinking of you at this difficult time xx

Im so sorry to hear this! No advice but sending you love and hugs at this time!xx

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I can’t imagine what a terrible shock it must have been😢 I had a chemical pregnancy but I had heavy bleeding so knew I’d lost the baby but to walk into a scan not knowing must have been horrific. Thinking of you during this difficult time xoxo

hifer profile image
hifer in reply to

The doctors were incredible but yes it was incredibly traumatic :-(

I’m so sorry XX

I'm so sorry for your loss xx

Thank you so much for your responses. You all are so kind and it does lift my spirits reading your messages x

No advice just wanted to send love and hugs xxx

Sending so much love ❤️

Just wanted to say thank you (again). I’m reading all your messages which are a massive help. I’m so sorry for all of your losses and for being able to share them so openly. I can understand how many of you say that it brought you and your partners closer together. This forum really is my saving grace xx

So sorry to hear your sad news 💔💔💔 but pls never give up xx

I’m really sorry to hear this. It’s an awful situation to be in. Thinking of you xx

So sorry to read this. My heart goes out to you. I'm sorry I have no advice to give you other than be kind to yourself and do whatever you feel you need to. Take care xx

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