Anxiety

I'm on day 6 of stimms and started cetrotide yesterday. This is my 5th fresh cycle and not sure why but feeling so anxious this time. I know it's ok to feel anxious but I've haven't felt like this through the previous cycles. I am lying in bed panicking and keep getting chest pains come and go. Also having a lot more twingy pains with this cycle. Hot water bottle doesn't seem to be helping!

Not sure if it's because I know this will be our last cycle but I feel terrified of having another scan tomorrow. My baseline scan last week showed 6 follicles but on my day 5 scan there were only 3. This is still an acceptable number as I'm following a mild IVF protocol but feel so nervous about tomorrow I feel like throwing up. Also realised earlier that there is a tube strike tomorrow which is going to mean a 2.5 hour journey to get to the clinic. Not helping the anxiety levels.

I should feel prepared as I have encountered most eventualities already. One egg collection with no eggs collected, one failed embryo transfer and two cycles of no embryos good enough to make it or freeze. I am not normally an anxious person and hate the way this is making me feel.

Sorry for moaning just needing to type this out to hopefully get it out of my system and calm down a bit

[Hidden]

Oh poor you. Do you have anything that you can do that calms you down? I really really hope all goes well tomorrow. Will be thinking of you xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Not really as don't usually feel anything like this. Maybe have a bath but don't want to wake OH up. Thank you that's really kind of you!

Honestly do not know why I am feeling so different this time round xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Maybe this is "the round" xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I really hope so xx

[Tugsgirl]

After five fresh cycles I’m not surprised. I guess it had to hit you sometime 😞 You’re very brave, remember that. Remember that whatever happens you’ve done everything you can. I hope you’re very proud xx

[Kari55]

Hi Blue_penguin, it is totally understandable that you are anxious. I know the feeling and I know it isn’t always possible to control it and stop. When I started my current cycle I had bad anxiety and my heart rate was 80-90 every day. The only thing which helps me is meditation, self-compassion and observing what is happening to me. Saying “I love you” to myself felt weird at first but it was actually very powerful.

I also made sure I went for walks as it would change my energy and if I saw a cat I would have a bit of playful time with them. I don’t have my own pets but I think animals are very therapeutic so I try to stroke every cat or dog I see 😊 Sending you lots of love x

[Cinderella5]

I think everything that you are feeling is completely understandable. I think the more failed cycles that we go through makes us worry that this is never gonna happen and that we're getting to the end with no result....this is how I feel anyway. You're doing GREAT so keep telling yourself this.....I think we are all a bit guilty of forgetting this. I hope you're feeling a little better today and all goes well with your trek to the clinic!xx

[Hidden]

Thanks for your kind replies ladies! They really helped. I felt a bit calmer this morning and after battling through London in the tube strikes I made my appointment. Follicles seem to be growing just a bit slower than previous cycles. Aiming for egg collection towards end of next week. Going to try and keep myself busy over the weekend and take my mind off the treatment, if that's even possible.

I can't believe what we have to go through to try and make our dreams happen and it happens to others by accident. You are such a kind group and wishing you all well!! Xx

[dreaming-dream]

I know this thread was from two years ago, but I relate to this...about the anxiety symptoms because of the meds. But meditation is really helpful and yoga too!