Coping with anxiety between bfp and viability scan

[steph85ryan]

Morning, so I’m 16dpt and I got my bfp yesterday! I was shocked and totally over the moon. I had prepared myself for a negative as it’s my first cycle and I have a low amh. I was quite chilled during my 2ww as I had paid up front for 2 cycles and as I said I felt quite prepared for a negative result. But today I am feeling so incredibly anxious, 2 days ago I felt like I had nothing to loose but now I feel like I couldn’t possibly be this lucky and it has to change right? I’m sure it sounds silly but I don’t have a partner and I feel you all are the only ones that could understand. 3 weeks until my viability scan, not sure how I’m coming to cope x

[MissSaoPaulo]

It's awful isn't it - you've been dreaming of this moment for so long and instead of complete happiness it's actually quite terrifying. I haven't really got any wise words except maybe stay away from Google!! One way or another you will get through these next couple of weeks and chances are everything is going to be fine xxx

[EmGLA]

Although I haven’t been in the same situation as you, I can appreciate where you are coming from; waiting for the other shoe to drop, as it were. I would anticipate that if I’m lucky enough to be in your situation I would be exactly the same.

Good luck with your pregnancy!

Xx

[HopeTTC18]

Congratulations on your BFP.

I’m 8 weeks today. I’d like to tell you that the anxiety settles down after your viability scan as I thought it would for me but it hasn’t. I’ve seen the heartbeat twice now. I even had a second scan at the weekend as I was worried that my morning sickness had gone and I’m still anxious all the time. Now I’m convinced I’ll be ok after the 12 week scan or when I start feeling the baby move but I doubt I will relax at all during the pregnancy.

I hope it does get easier for you. I think it’s because we have been through so much to get pregnant. Hope all goes well for your scan x

[steph85ryan in reply to HopeTTC18]

Thank you for sharing, it’s good to know I’m not the only one feeling this way good luck for the remainder of you pregnancy xx

[Hidden]

Ah congrats on the BFP! Totally understandable you are anxious! My therapist is getting me to do mindfulness exercises, I was super skeptical initially but it's helping...as my big fear going into IVF was miscarrying not it not working at all... So everytime I think about that fear it's a red flag and I start grounding myself, listen to noises be aware of my feet on the ground or the chair under me... It is weird how it helps a bit!!

Also I've rearranged all my kitchen cupboards, reordered the bookshelf and am working on a 1000 piece puzzle and listening to audiobooks...baked too many cookies - so you know keeping occupied ! 😁

Good luck!!! X

[steph85ryan in reply to Hidden]

Haha keeping busy definitely helps! I’ll definitely try the mindfulness. Thank you x

[Scarlett13]

Congrats on your BFP! I know exactly how you feel! I had a miscarriage at 4 weeks last time but I’m now 8 weeks pregnant. It was such a long wait for the first scan last week and the nerves on the day were so huge!!!! But the relief and tears at the scan made the wait worth it. I’m now anxious waiting for the next scan!!! Try and enjoy being pregnant and keep as busy and distracted as you can xxx

[Zebedee1971]

Don't worry, we all feel like that! I had 2 miscarriages last year (7 weeks and 5 weeks) so even if I get a positive this Friday, I know I'll still be anxious about losing it! I always say I wish I could just fast forward to the 12 week scan but even then I reckon there'll be something else to worry about. My gp used to say it's a miracle anyone gets pregnant really, there's so much that needs to go right. My only advice is to take it easy and don't stress. When I lost mine last year I was rushing around like a headless chicken at work and even though the doctor said it was chromosomal, I do think it was the fact I wasn't looking after myself properly. Fingers crossed for you!

[Shelleybean]

Congratulations on your bfp! It’s understandable you feel anxious. Another vote for mindfulness here.. there are IVF and pregnancy specific apps you can get. I find it really relaxing and helps combat the waves of anxiety. Also going out for walks and generally doing things you enjoy helps pass the time and keep you calm, which I think is really important. Hope the scan goes well xx

[Baypony]

Congratulations on your positive 👍 I was worried how I would cope, but 3 days after the test the morning sickness set in and I was so exhausted and felt terrible my only thought was How am I going to get to the hospital and survive the scan without throwing up!

After the viability scan I felt better mentally, but it didn’t stop me from worrying that there would be nothing there at the 12 week scan. If you don’t have a partner then find someone else to confide in, friend, relative or us on here! You will get through it but I find the anxiety still exists for most of the milestones, next scan, bloods, appointment, etc, and never truly goes away.

[Kitcat12]

I honestly think the wait between BFP and first scan is far worse than the 2WW. It's such an anxious time and you question every single thing you feel. All I can say is if you have any concerns or worries try to stay calm because there's plenty of help to be found. Wish I could say the anxiety gets better but I'm 14 weeks tomorrow and still worried about everything 🤷🏽‍♀️ And no more scans until 20 weeks either. I hope your 3 weeks goes quickly and is smooth, happy and healthy x

[crisps88]

Oh love 💗 💖 💕 I’m really sorry you’re struggling. I feel the same totally. I know you feel lucky and you’re appreciative of it but I’m feeling so apprehensive of it. Can’t relax until the scan!!! You just enjoy it, the little milestones mean such a lot because you’ve been through so much to get here. Try and enjoy it babe X X X

[steph85ryan]

Thank you! All I seem to read on here atm is posts about miscarriages. I try to reassure myself with the stats but I feel so anxious :s I’ve got friends that are pregnant but you don’t understand unless you have given everything you have to get this far! Good luck to you xx

[Hidden]

I did this to! I had spotting throughout which made me freak out & then hauled the net over mc! It didn’t make me feel any better. I think if something awful was to happen it wouldn’t make it feel any better by preparing yourself. I would take it one day at a time in the early weeks- I told myself today I am pregnant tomorrow I might not be but today I am. No one can walk into any scan without worrying ( I had several throughout & worried every single time ) especially after a difficult journey. I never completely relaxed until my daughter had arrived safely could I then finally breathe out. Do celebrate each milestone you reach it’s a step closer towards having your baby. Good luck with your scan hope it all goes well & gives you some reassurance xoxo congrats on your BFP xoxo

[steph85ryan in reply to Hidden]

Aww it’s so lovely to hear a positive story, congratulations on your little girl! Thank you for your support x

[Lyn84]

I am 14 going on 15 weeks originally with twins we lost a twin at 9 weeks and i had had a miscarriage last yr too despite having had 7 scans since 7 weeks i was anxious before that as i had no symptoms and after losing a twin at 9 weeks ive had constant scares even the day before i turned 12 weeks i had a scare, between everything that has happen and having a gender scan in 2 weeks despite all the scans i still fear getting some kind of bad news at my next scan i just think its one of those where despite starting to finally feel like i can get excited i think i will be anxious to the end. We go through a lot to get our little ones and so we feel extra pressure and anxiety for everything to be ok in our pregnancy.

[Rella22]

I haven’t been in that position yet but honestly I’m so happy for you. It’s easier said than done but please try to relax and soak in this moment as much as possible!

Just take it one week at a time and try to occupy your time with extracurricular activities.

[Hidden]

Hi,

I know how you feel... it should be a happy moment but instead it's actually quite terrifying.

I found out that keeping my mind busy was the best way to pass the time. Hope you get good news! Fingers crossed!

[Hidden]

I'm 3 days since I found out I'm naturally pregnant after told failed rounds of ISCI and being told to move on to double donors.

I'm petrified. I've had cramps and feel like I'm going to start my period. I was scared about missing carry because it was constant. They seem to be settling which is making me even more scared that i might be a chemical pregnancy. I'm trying to relax and just enjoy but it's so difficult.

I imagine this is pretty common after all that we've been through to get our BFPs. If you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to pm message me.

[steph85ryan in reply to Hidden]

I had mild cramping constantly since transfer, I looked it up and I’m taking it to be the womb stretching and getting ready for the growing embryo. Stats say once you have a bfp we have around 80% chance of success, increasing with every day. Considering I was told I had an 30% chance at the beginning of all this I’m taking it as good odds good luck, I’ll be thinking of you x

[Hidden in reply to steph85ryan]

Thanks, thats reassuring.