Feeling Emotional 😭 : it’s my brother... - Fertility Network UK

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Feeling Emotional 😭

Sarah_a_2018
Sarah_a_2018

it’s my brother’s wedding next weekend, I’m a bridesmaid and while I’m so happy for them and really looking forward to the wedding, but had our IVF cycle been successful in January, my due date would have been 02 Oct, leading up to our treatment I kept thinking would I go into labour early will I have had our baby by their wedding day, would I go past my due date, knowing my luck I would have gone into labour on their wedding day! This year has fiown in and it’s almost the wedding and we have no baby, we’re not even close 😩 dosnt help that I’ll have my period during the wedding 😭😭😭

I feel silly because I’m grieving for something I never had, I don’t really know how to express my feelings and my family doesn’t understand so I’m just really moody and lashing out at everyone, I’ve got tomorrow and Tuesday off so I can at least enjoy some me time, since I know I haven’t conceived this month I can sweat out my frustration and grief in the gym.

This is so frustrating and just when I think I am emotionally healing enough to start our next cycle I get the fear and something stops me, I just don’t feel strong enough to go through it again for it to not work, I couldn’t bear another heartache like this but at the same time I know we need to be able to take the help we need to have a baby 😢

3 Replies

I understand completely but having said that you have to ask yourself if your fear of another failure is stronger than your desire to have a baby. It’s that desire that will drive you forward. You can do this 💪🏻 xx

I totally understand. A work colleague got pregnant naturally at exactly the same time that we were going through our first failed cycle. It was torture having to watch her bump grow, thinking of what could have been. She even ended up having it on what would have been our due date.

She’s just about to return to work after a year off on maternity and we’re still childless. For my own sanity I have to give myself some space.

I hope you manage to really enjoy the wedding and your emotions don’t get the better of you. It’s totally ok to feel the way you do xx

It is a form of grief so never feel that you are not entitled to feel sadness. Of course you are. That round of ivf symbolised a possible future.

I guess just do the bridesmaid things you have to do, enjoy the occasion as much as you can.

I had ivf counselling after my first round was unsuccessful and it helped because the counsellor was there to listen to me and allowed me to put myself and my feelings first. Have you looked into this?

Wishing you all the best. Try to keep positive. I know it's hard. It's the hardest thing ever. Hope it happens for you!

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