My other 2 have been hard to deal with but this is on a whole new level. I have been so up & down the last 13 days after spotting since 4dpt that I just feel broken.
I know you’re not meant 2 but I had really started letting myself think it had worked. The spotting all tied in with implantation timelines, I had the sore boobs & nausea. I know that could b the medication but as I am a natural cycle I stopped hormones 3dpt.
I am absolutely devasted & whilst I am extremely grateful we still have Frosties in the freezer the thought of going through this pain again is so hard!
I just don’t understand, how can my body feel one way & then it all just disappears. All my hopes & dreams of our little bundle of joy just taken away 😞😞
I’m really beginning to think this might not be on the cards for us & I don’t know how to process that! Al I such a horrible person 2 not deserve this. I don’t think I am but feel like I’m being punished for something that I don’t know I did!
Thanks for letting me vent ❤️xx
Written by
lnf17
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s awful, and no matter how much you tell yourself not to get your hopes up, it’s impossible not to…. I also thought the transfer might have worked, and yesterday found out it didn’t. But you need to let yourself grieve, then pick up and go again - three attempts are by no means the end of the road, persistence pays off in the end 💪🤞🤞
I know it’s so unfair, we didn’t do anything wrong and we have to go through this agony. It’s just luck of the draw 😭
Oh love I am so sorry, its just the cruelest process and I know what you mean about your mind and body playing tricks on you, its so so unfair.
Sending you the hugest hug. defo take some time to come to terms with this and try and treat yourself - you deserve some proper TLC and some real pampering. You will get there xx
Awww sweetie I'm really sorry to hear this. It's absolutely sh*t. Please try not to beat yourself up. I can say categorically that this isn't your fault, it's nothing you've done or haven't done, and you don't deserve it. It's just awful that we have to go through all this stuff when most people don't, and can conceive and deliver their babies with a simple roll in the hay! No needles, no scans, no operations, no drugs, no heartache. I feel your pain: if all goes well with my current cycle and we actually have eggs to collect next week, and IF they then make any embryos, and IF those embryos make it to day 5 blasts... if all that happens, this would be my third transfer too. If I get there, I too will be hopeful: think I have in mind the saying 'after 3 transfers, most people will statistically have success' but the reality is not all of us can be 'most people' sadly. The GOOD thing for you to focus on, when you're ready, is the fact you have frosties 😍 That's amazing, and you will heal from this sadness and disappointment and go again. You aren't out of the game, so try not to lose hope. But I know that probably isn't much consolation now. It's very hard. I'm also starting to think this just won't happen for us, and we need to face it. And then I panic that I'm getting stuck in a negative mindset, but honestly, how can we NOT be negative 😂 Sending you lots of hugs today Lovely xx
I don't experience of that but I from what I read there is slight risk of an embryo not surviving the thaw. I guess it depends how many you have left. Did you having spotting throughout the TWW or just for a day?
No, I wasn’t on progesterone. Had ovitrelle injections 3 days prior to transfer, day of & then 3 days after. I did this for my 2 previous transfers but never had any spotting.First transfer failed 6dpt & 2nd one failed 10dpt
Hi hun...it seems a little strange that you didn't have progesterone support pre - and post transfer... did you not even have pessaries? Having progesterone to support your lining is a vital part of IVF. I would certainly talk this over with your clinic to understand their rationale, and ask for it for next time.
Hi, no never had any form of progesterone. I have found that strange but just assumed that they knew what they were doing.Yeah, I’ve asked 4 an appointment with my consultant as want 2 try a medicated round nxt time. xx
I hear you! I had my 3rd insert that failed about a month ago now and I still feel really deflated and negative about it. I too had the symptoms and was sure it had worked until the last day and then getting the negative results again is just cruel! All I can say is allow yourself to feel crap, pour yourself a large glass of wine tonight, then try to get some endorphins by getting out and about as much as possible. Then we power on again (there are still embryos in the freezer so there are positives to focus on)
Every day is different in this process, you will get your hope back, I promise! I’m about to start round 5 and after round 4 failed I really lost the plot and cried for 3 weeks straight pretty much!! Stay strong and keep believing. Hope is what gets us through. Also don’t forget there are options for us all xxxx
I’m so sorry Inf17. Our 3rd round failed too last month. It’s just heartbreaking. I too let myself think it had worked and even worse imagined that I was having twins, as we transferred two. Let yourself grieve and be sad and will then pick yourself up. This will make you the strongest you will ever be. I’m looking at doing a ERA cycle next, I refuse to give up yet. Sending you so much love, you are not alone. This process is beyond horrible. Xxxx
I just wanted to say I’m sorry and I understand. I’ve had three failed FETs in Feb, June and August this year. It gets harder each time as one disappointment layers up upon another. Take time to be sad. It’s sad, it’s horrible. Talk to your consultant as there may be further tests or medication you can take next time.
Hi. First of all I’m really sorry to hear this and I send hugs.
Please don’t think you’ve done anything wrong cause you haven’t.
It’s impossible not to get your hopes up. I’ve been where you are and I hope my story will give you hope.
My husband and I went through 3 failed attempts over 4 years. I thought to that it wasn’t going to work. Then on our 4th try I fell pregnant with twins. We sadly lost one at 8 weeks but one hung in there and now we have a lovely adorable 2 year old son! So it does work…please don’t lose hope!
Like others have said you need to give yourself time to grieve for what might of been. Take care of yourself and although it’s hard try not to make your life all about Ivf. I know it’s hard but you need space and a break from it.
Hey don't be so hard on yourself, might be god has something good for you. Dont loose your hope. I am also on the same boat, trying to not loose my hopes that one day, everything will be fine, all sadness, all sorrows, pain will go away, but don't know how much more time. Might be this is not the right time for us, may be future will be bright and shiny with our bundle of joys🙂
Hey, first of all don't loose hope and you definitely haven't done anything to deserve this. Life has many challenges and unfortunately this is ours. I believe this unique journey makes all of us stronger and able to handle more in life. I had my failed third transfer around two months ago and around this time last year had a miscarriage after a successful transfer. It's such a difficult journey with so many emotions. It's really good that you have embryos left over. I have low amh so never have any extra. When we froze one after a month where I didn't do a transfer the fact that we had one frozen embryo did help me mentally so try hold onto that as your next chance to try is just around the corner. In the meantime take your time to process this and cry and drink wine (because you can) 😊 Hoping you start to feel better soon and always think about all the positive things you have in your life as those are blessings which we should value.
I am sorry your transfer did not work, IVF is an incredibly hard process to go through but you just need to keep going. Try to pick yourself up and don’t look back! I know exactly how you are feeling… I have been through many, many failed transfers until it worked… Stay strong, positive and keep going! One advice regarding spotting the symptoms, it really isn’t worth it. Over the years I have learned to just go through the 2 weeks wait with a lot of distance, I did not wait for symptoms and did not test early. It gives you false hopes and a lot of unnecessary stress. Good luck 🤞
Of course you are devastated! Its impossible not to be. Its impossible not to hope - that's why we're still here, still trying. Its a cruel process. But in the end, when it eventually happens, it will be worth it.
Definitely take some time to grieve and be kind to yourself. Do some none pregnancy stuff you like - go to a spa or take a long hot soaky bath, have a glass of wine. Or have a hot cup of camomile tea and cry if you need to. Sometimes its good to just let ourselves feel, instead of forcing ourselves to move one before we are ready. Its ok to be devastated. Have you got a good support network? Does your clinic offer counselling?
My last round also didn't work. I found out on Saturday. I'm looking at how I can do things differently to make the process less anxiety ridden - maybe putting in place some stress management through out the cycle (in my case, reflexology) and to take a holiday over the two week wait - lots of fun activities instead of working from home on my own every day - driving myself crazy.
I really am so sorry it didn't work. It really isn't anything you have or haven't done.
Hi Kunfupixie, thanks for your response. I’m sorry 4 your loss also 😞Yeah, going to ask for counselling this time, just had 2 make the call to the clinic to confirm the negative test (not how I wanted this morning to go) so waiting 4 them to call me back.
I’m so sorry hun. I used to feel like that so many times, am I such a bad person? Was I in a past life? Why do I deserve this. I don’t know the answer to making the pain less. Deep breaths and a will to go in if that’s what you choose. For me nothing stopped me, I was relentless and I went through 6 miscarriages. The journey is hard the hardest in the world but also worth it. I send you a virtual hug xxxx
I’m so sorry to read this. I know what you mean I am almost finished my 3rd tww nothing left in the freezer and I’m just so terrified of another bfn. My husband and I are good people and it’s just so unfair. Please look after yourself and speak to someone if you feel you need to it honestly does help xxx
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Negative result post first round of IVF
Feeling Anxious 
Feeling low... I think I’ve had 3rd IVF failure 
4 out of 5 have fertilised 🥚👼🏼🙏🏼
First Fail
