So our 6 month wait is coming to an end in roughly a week or so and I’m becoming incredibly anxious about choosing a sperm donor.
Obviously the choice will be made with a lot of thought and in collaboration with my partner (if possible we want some similar characteristics), but I’m just starting to feel really anxious and nervous about being given choices and just picking one...
Any thoughts, tips, advice or words of wisdom anyone is willing to part with?
I can see how this would be hard, I hate deciding what to eat for dinner!!! I have no experience with this, but what I do know is that whatever donor you choose...you will love that baby unconditionally no matter what. Even if he or she does not look exactly like your husband they will pick up his traits anyways 😊 plus I know plenty of people who look NOTHING like their mother or father! I wish you all the best xxx
I had low count and after multiple failures we decided to give a sperm donor a try. My wife is perfectly healthy and I wanted to use a sperm donor to give her the best chance of IVF working. She was initially against it, but came round as it seemed the best way for us to overcome our problems.
We chose a donor that matched me the closest physically and education wise, it depends how much info you can get from the donor.
To be honest we were more focused on whether it would work or not, so my advice would be to hope for the best, but prepare a plan if you're unlucky. Unfortunately for us it didn't work.
Best of luck to you x
Thank you for your reply. My partner is a paraplegic and as such cannot produce sperm so we are trying our luck with donor IVF.
I wish you luck if you choose to try again x
Hi,
I'm sure you cycle will give you a baby! You're in your 20's and in our case my wife was already turning 40. I think studies have shown an egg from a healthy young woman can even work with low quality sperm.
As if to prove it, after several failed cycles with my low quality sperm and her eggs, then using a sperm donor - we switched to egg donor -we are now 34 weeks with a healthy pregnancy on our first go with donor egg from a donor in her 20's, and that was using ICSI with my bad sperm.
Your husband will be the legal father and be the one to feel the baby kicking inside you, be the first to see them when they are born. Once you have a BFP and its the two of you, neither of you will really care where the sperm (or the egg in our case) comes from, especially when you see the first scan and hear the heartbeat.
With your age and a healthy donor you should have excellent results! You have time on your side also.
As a couple who are now expecting from using a donor, my advice would be don't worry too much about the donor, the baby will be shaped by you and your husband, and your love for the child will be like any other parent who had a baby 'naturally' - loved unconditionally.
Best of luck to you. xxx
Thank you so much for your message and kind words.
I wish you a happy and health end to your pregnancy so you and your wife can welcome you long awaited beautiful baby. Good luck xx
Hi AJ
So pleased that your six month wait is finally at an end.
We are choosing our donor so they look vaguely like my OH. Hair colour, build etc. Education isn’t of massive importance to us but they do usually tell you that. You may also have to match your CMV with theirs eg if your positive/negative then they need to match yours.
I’m not sure if you will be offered baby pics, we were with our first donor site and my OH was completely stressed by it all so we are now using a clinic that don’t.
It’s a difficult choice, my OH is completely overthinking every choice and still hasn’t decided but he has a short list. I’m going to make him decide soon as it’s becoming a bit too much of a fixation lol. Good luck with your choice xx
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