Didn’t really know if I should share this but I just needed to let it out.
A friend who is due next week posted a lovely picture on Facebook with the caption “can’t wait to meet the little person who is half me and half the one I love”.
I’m nearly 25 weeks along with a baby boy via DE IVF and I’m so thrilled and grateful to finally be so close to making our family after 9 years of losses and heartbreak. Every time I feel him move I know I already love him and I can’t wait to meet him but that post gave me a pang of sadness that he’s half the one I love and half and half unknown.
I feel incredibly guilty to be upset when I’m so lucky to be pregnant at all.
Written by
PeanutandCashew
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Oh lovely. You’re growing this miracle human being inside your tummy, you are going to provide for his every need with enormous amounts of love and care. You are his mummy and he will love you so so much.
Someone once told me ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ and it is so true! Dont let that person’s story steal your joy. The best if yet to come ☺️ sending lots of love xx
You are providing everything that precious baby needs you are sharing your blood and he is listening to your heartbeat Don't let one little comment upset you but enjoy this special time x
To your son, you are every bit as much as a mother as your friend is to her baby. At the end of the day, DNA is just a collection of molecules. Xx
I know it’s silly and I know he is mine regardless of DNA. After everything we’ve been through it was such a hard decision to move to donor eggs, I felt such a failure and really worried if it was the right choice. As soon as I got my bfp he was mine, it’s just a little sadness at not passing on all the family traits that run so strongly through my side. x
That baby is definitely half of you. Think of the egg as the foundations on a house, without you, a home for the baby to grow in, sharing your blood, your immunity, your heart, the final build couldn’t happen. You are creating the walls, doors, windows and roof to that little house. Once he is born it will be the way that you bring him up with your ways etc. The final layer of the little baby and the decoration of the house comes from you. It might be a slightly odd way to say that this baby is yours but foundations alone don’t make a house and it’s you that’s creating an amazing one! Xx (hope that makes sense!)
Hi there, I was struck by your comments about passing on family traits... I understand I think how you feel, I am also doing DE and am quite attached to my family, plus the UK is not my native and country so sometimes I feel even more detached from my family knowing I won't pass one any of "our genes". But one thing I know for sure, which is that there is no guarantee that a biological son/daughter will take on "family traits" - even if by that you mean really just "biological" ones (my brother and I look completely unlike each other, and so was for my mum and her siblings). Of course the values and culture that you bring from your background will count a lot. And indeed, as a person wrote, comparison with others can really ruin your life, indeed that's precisely the problem with social media isnt'it!? It can be a trap! I hope you will feel better soon and will enjoy the positives, there is much to be grateful there, but also please try not to feel guilty for those thoughts, they are normal and I am pretty confident you will get over them one day and think nothing of them xx
I think that some sections of society are beginning to embrace families made in more unconventional ways (not the best phrase, sorry!) but we still have a long way to go. But, I truly believe that nurture is equally if not more important than nature... Good luck!
I am currently in the tww with DE. It was a tough decision for my husband and we haven't yet told anyone except two very close friends.
Although we never had to go through with donor egg, I was told this - if you were baking a cake and had to borrow 1 egg from a neighbour - would that make the cake theirs or yours? You are growing that baby inside you, it will have your values & beliefs. It responds to your movements and will copy everything that you do. This is your baby x
Everything the ladies have said is spot on I think the support on here is amazing and this is definitely your baby, your blood is running through him as the ladies have said ignore the outside it’s ur little family that counts xxx
Little bump may not be technically half of you but in other terms it’s your body, blood and absolute darn fabulous that is growing bump oh and then giving birth to bump. Remember ALL of that is your and your fabulousness 💕💕💕
You will fall in love the second to see your little one xx
The baby is yours, without you and your body it wouldn't be growing and you are giving it life. My daughter isn't biologically my husband's, but acts just like him, and is more like him than his own kids! When I was pregnant with my daughter I wasn't with her father and was so scared she would be just like him. Once you give birth and see your baby all these feelings will go away! DNA isn't everything ♥️♥️♥️ Xxxxx
Your baby is just as much half you, as he is half your partner. You are growing him, nourishing him, protecting him, in your body.
You are bound to have difficult feelings from time to time, like any pregnant woman does, and never beat yourself up or discount those feelings - you are entitled to them. this journey is such a rollercoaster.
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xx
I lost all hope now.
2 biggest fears of my life
Face to face infertility group!
3 years ttc, no sign of a bfp, just can’t go on 
IVF or surrogacy?
