Counselling - can't recommend highly ... - Fertility Network UK

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Counselling - can't recommend highly enough!

threesthemagicnumber profile image

Hi everyone, I've seen lots of posts recently where people are dealing with loss and extreme difficulties on their fertility journeys. I've been having counselling for the last 6 months following 2 traumatic miscarriages and wanted to pass on the details of this fabulous charity, Petals that have really helped me to go forward and also prepare for the next step on my journey (which looks like will be IVF). Here's the website - they particularly focus on pregnancy loss, but I know there are lots of other organisations out there that can help everyone depending on what your experiences are.

I've been going with my husband and it's made us much stronger and ready to face the next steps together. It's SO hard to talk about it all sometimes but I always feel a million times better after my sessions and it's amazing to have someone non-judgemental to listen, guide and be there for support.

I've also been listening to Brene Brown's audiobook about Shame which has really resonated with me personally. I've realised that difficulties having children has made me limit my social circles and cut out friends with kids because it's felt "easier". However there's also a sense of embarrassment and yes, shame, associated for me with not being able to have kids and this book is great at helping to address and overcome that feeling. I know everyone is different but thought I'd share anyway. Hope it helps. Love and support to you all. x

9 Replies
Caza2009 profile image

Hey, I haven’t been through a miscarriage but just wanted to say thanks for sharing! Am pleased it’s really helped you!

I’m hoping I won’t have another BFN, but I defo think it’ll be my time to try counselling if I don’t get my BFP this time round.

Sending loads of love xxxx

Kari55 profile image

Thank you for sharing. I read some other books of Brene Brown’s so will check out Shame. X

threesthemagicnumber profile image
threesthemagicnumber in reply to Kari55

Great. It’s actually called Men, Women and Worthiness. Hope it’s useful x

Kari55 profile image
Kari55 in reply to threesthemagicnumber

Is it only in audiobook format? I don’t seem to find it as a book or kindle.

threesthemagicnumber profile image
threesthemagicnumber in reply to Kari55

I’m not’s possible it’s only an audiobook. There’s also a TED talk where I think she discusses some of the similar points but I haven’t watched it myself. It’s here:

Kari55 profile image
Kari55 in reply to threesthemagicnumber

Perfect, thank you! X

LegoBatgirl profile image

Thanks for sharing, I am a big believer in counselling- it really helps x

Novice_knitter profile image

Thank you for sharing - will get onto it asap - any recommendations then I'm all ears!

I'm struggling from my BFN after IVF just over a week ago. Am seeing a counsellor & it does help. There seem to be so many levels of why I feel rubbish about it all - it's more than the grief of it not working out. I think shame/embarrassment/feeling of being an overall failure at life is a key player in the mix. Doesn't help that infertility continues to be such a taboo subject. C xx

threesthemagicnumber profile image
threesthemagicnumber in reply to Novice_knitter

Exactly, the feelings are so complex so it's understandable that there's no easy fix or magic pill to just "get over it". It's a long slow process and counselling is a huge part of it. Let's hope the next generation will have the sense to know that it really shouldn't be a taboo and we can all be more open and understanding about it. I'm really sorry didn't have luck with your cycle this. Wishing you loads of luck for whatever is next. xx

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