sadly I got a bfn yesterday and still in disbelief. I am 43 and have been ttc my first for more than 5 years with not a single bfp..my body is too exhausted from high dose of hormones and emotionally unstable. Not sure what my doctor would recommend as a next step. My biological clock is ticking but I need a break.
I hate Plain old me😔
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Bbdust
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Hey, I’m so sorry I know exactly how u feel I had a BFN last week and it’s broken me, sending u love x
Sorry to hear this lovely. Don’t hate yourself, there’s nothing you could have done to make things different. We’ve all got the baddest luck and it is so unfair but definitely not your fault x
Sorry to hear your news. My wife is around your age and is currently 25 weeks after a donor cycle. Don't give up. We went through several cycles using her own eggs, (and I mean loads, spending a small fortune) its the most stressful thing to go through, the hope and then the disappointment, it hard to pick yourself up. Even now we still can't believe our dream might be actually happening and are taking nothing for granted after 6 years of disappointments.
If you can try again, you will find the strength and although adoption of babies is hard in the UK, we had already researched and decided if the donor cycle failed we were going for adoption of a toddler, kids aged 5 or 6, our local council told us there's a real need for parents for kids over 5. Hopefully once we've had a healthy birth, we'll definitely look at adoption for our 2nd child ( who will be older than our first!)
We have a friend who had multiple failed cycles , then had multiple failed cycles with donor eggs ( they even tried donor egg and sperm and nothing) They were going to try donor embryo, but she had had enough of treatment. She had no medical reason why she couldn't get any of the embryos to stick. She's now the mum of 3 kids, all adopted and she's so happy.
Your clinic should be able to put you in touch with some counselling, it can really help for the amount of heartache you've been through
Yes I totally agree, adopting is absolutely guaranteed success. We are in process of stage one in adoption. After all those fails and like you said ‘small fortune’ I decided not to put my body through it again. Because I have had two children naturally thought I could have a sibling for my 4 year old (25 yrs difference between kids!) obviously my fertility has passed its peak. So wish now we had decided to adopt from the beginning. This whole process hasn’t been good for my son or indeed our marriage.
Bbdust, I know you must be feeling there’s no hope at the moment. Give yourself 12 weeks healing time, have some counselling and go to an adoption information evening in your local area. I gave myself only 6 weeks because I was 45 so slightly older than you. You will find out that children under 2 are easier to match to you than you think. Statistics in my area (Yorkshire/Humberside) shows 50% of children waiting for ‘forever families’ are under 2 years! Good luck 💕
Happy for you and your wife, enjoy every second of pregnancy as you have been through a lot reaching this point. I know it's hard not to worry but Hope all will go smooth and you will have that sweet baby in your arms before you know. Xx
Sorry to hear this. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Its not you. Us women in our 40s have age against us. I'm 42 and after two failed rounds i switched to de where the chances are much higher.
Yes I am using my own eggs. I’ve never been pregnant before. This ivf seems like the biggest science experiment of my life. And it’s pure lottery. Strange feeling.
So sorry to hear this. I know how you feel. The hormones raging through your body plus the expectation and dashed hopes make for a very unhappy and difficult time and I think amplifies any negative feeling. Hang in there and sending you lots of hugs xx
Couldn't describe the feeling any better. This time I really felt pregnant with a lot of symptoms that I experienced for the first time. I don't know If i will be able to go through the same again 😔
Me too! I know some might think it a case of wishful thinking but I felt pregnant. I had nausea in morning, fatigue and just felt different and then nothing.... to except blood (sorry for being graphic) but it really cut me up in a big way. I didn’t think I could go through it again
I'm sorry to hear this. Take care of yourself, maybe have a holiday to recuperate and unwind. You could look into an adults only holiday if it's too hard being around families. We did this and it helped me forget about things for a bit. I hope you get your happy ending no matter what you decide xx
My bestie lives abroad and coming on a business trip, will try to arrange for a trip or so..as I can't even call the clinic to agree on my next step.
Glad it helped you relax and enjoy xx
I am sorry. It's so hard being an "older" lady and still trying for your first. I've been on other forums where young women are "devestated" to still be trying for their 2nd or 3rd after just a few months, when they got pregnant on the first try with their now, child.
I just turned 40 and been trying for my first for over 7 years, with not one single pregnancy in all that time. My tests have all come back ok but the specialist did tell me that my ovaries are showing signs of age and basically I don't have plenty of time left. I've considered using donor sperm because I want to experience pregnancy, childbirth and more importantly, bringing home my newborn. Life is so unfair but the fact that we just can't afford any IVF or other fertility treatment is helping me come to terms with it up to a point.
If money isn't an issue for you, you could try contacting Gabriella Rosa. I leared about her fertility clinic through some free facebook challenges she was running and I still get the odd email with advice and suggestons. Might be worth having a look at her to see what she can offer. Her methods are very hard in my opinion with all the do's and don'ts which involve major lifestyle changes but it sounds like you've been through so much already that it might be worth considering . I wish you the very best of luck in your TTC journey.
I'm so sorry to hear this and the heartache you are going through. This whole process can hugely effect self worth, hope and happiness. Its just exhausting in every way.
It's left me feeling stuck and desperate and disconnected from a lot of the people around me. It's good we have this space on this forum to share with each other and feel supported by others who get it.
im now considering egg donar and surrogacy as I've been told my eggs are no good and like the quality eggs of someone over 10 yrs older and are very low in count.
It seems like such an obvious thing to say but so important do do kind and loving things for yourself. You've been through an incredible amount of stress and deserve a break and self compassion. Sending you very much love xxx
I am sorry too for you. This forum offers support from strong sweet ladies who are going through the same as you, so it's easier to understand each other's. A friend of mine told me bluntly to forget about having a child of my own, as if it was that easy, as if i am asking too much!
I stopped telling my friends I am still trying or I am seeing a specialist because they see there's no point in putting myself into hell while it will not work. Only ladies on the forum can relate and understand why i still put myself through this while my chances are less than 1%
Sorry to hear this. I am now 40. Ive had 2 failed rounds of ICSI. First was awful 5 collected and all poor quality didnt make it to ET. 2nd round was slightly better on DHEA (gel) for 5 weeks before egg collection. 2 fertilised double ET both failed to implant. Going for a tandem cycle now in October X
I’m sorry to hear your news. BFN’s are truly rubbish. Please don’t be so hard on yourself, you’ve tried your best, but sadly I think it’s abit of pot luck as to wether it works or not.
I've recently had a failed transfer so know how you feel. It does get easier but the first few days and weeks are so raw. Give yourself time to grief and be kind to yourself. I would recommend counselling as my husband and I have really benefitted from being able to discuss everything with a neutral person. Wishing you the best in whatever you choose to do next xx
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