First consultation has left me overwh... - Fertility Network UK

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First consultation has left me overwhelmed!


Hi everyone.

I have previously had 6 months worth of clomid and scans etc at the local hospital after FTC for the last 2 years and after that wasn’t successful I was referred to my local fertility clinic, we had our first appointment yesterday.

Perhaps I was being naive but I thought that they would be offering me other types of medication or some other kind of treatment to try first, thinking IVF was the last resort.

We were told that IVF will be our next option which to be honest has left me feeling emotional and overwhelmed. I guess I’d just hoped it would never come to this as it now makes it all feel so serious!!

As I was on day 4 of my cycle it turned out to be good timing so I had an internal scan and a blood/urine sample taken when I was there. My husband has got to go back next week for his up-to-date sample. We were given so much information but it’s all just turned into a bit of a blur and we left without picking up our information pack!!

We have got another consultation after my husbands next appointment but I’ve just got a couple of questions.

Can anyone confirm is it day 1 of your cycle that you start taking the first lot of injections/ medication or will it depend if I’m on the long or short programme?

Also, is it the day that they do the egg collection that my husband will have to do his sample? Sorry for the essay! Xx

10 Replies

Hey, I remember feeling exactly the same, me and my husband come out of the room and just looked at each other in disbelief and shock. The first cycle for us was crazy. One bit of advice I would give you is don’t let them rush you through, do it at your own pace when your ready. Good luck to you both. X

in reply to Melissa11

We said the same thing, we felt like they were trying to rush us through to get on the treatment straight away but we’ve both said we feel like we need some time to just get our heads around it first! Good luck to you too xx

Sorry that you are feeling so overwhelmed by everything, but once it sinks in & you learn more, it wont be so daunting!

I believe the medication you take & when you take it all depends on your lining. & I’m pretty sure that your husband does provide his sample on the day, but I wouldn’t know about that as we used donor sperm (same sex couple!)

Try not to think of IVF as a negative, as there is somewhat more control in the process, although it isn’t an easy ride. Take it all in your stride & think positive!! All the best for your journey 😊🍀 xx

in reply to DisneyJL

Thankyou! I think I just need to start making a list of questions ready for my next appointment. I’m sure after the next consultation I will feel better about it all.

I try to be positive about everything and I am 90% of the time it’s just every now and again I hit a low moment! Xx

in reply to Catbates

Yes, I think that’s a great idea to get a list of questions together. And as Melissa11 said - don’t let them rush you into anything, & ask them to explain things you don’t understand. In our experience, one thing that fertility specialists forget is that to the lay-person a lot of the language is alien to us!!

& we all hit low moments now & again; so that’s only fair! 😂 xx

I felt exactly the same after mine and I remember just coming out and crying! After 2 years ttc I was expecting medication but I was basically left with 2 choices to make...either investigate further & try med Or straight for ivf. I never for a second thought ivf would be an option before trying anything else. I remember almost being angry thinking “your the consultant, you tell us what to do!!” anyway to cut a long story short I keep changing my mind on what to do and actually ended up delaying things for myself. I decided in the end I want to do the quickest (hopefully 🤞) route and go straight for ivf.

I start my first round in a couple weeks.

Take your time. It’s a very difficult decision to make. Ask more questions. Your make the decision that’s right for you. Xx

in reply to kirstyblue

I was the same! As soon as the doctor left the room I started crying, it all just got a bit too much.

We haven’t been given any other options, we were told that the fertility clinic don’t offer further tests, once we are referred to them it is for IVF!

Me and my husband have spoke and have said we are going to go for the IVF but maybe in a couple of months time once we’ve had time to get our heads round it all!

Good luck with your journey, I hope the first round works out for you 🤞 xx

It’s a crazy journey, I do still feel like the clinics treat us like cattle. One in one out!! 🙄 and they expect you to just understand everything. 🤷🏼‍♀️ if you ever need to chat you can always message me, I’ve had a fresh cycle that turned into a chemical, a frozen that was a BFN, we have a review chat on Thursday about the next steps, we have 1 frozen emby left. Fingers crossed it’s 3rd time lucky x

P.s your partner does his sample on the day of egg collection, just before you go in. ☺️

I agree with the other ladies. It hits you like a tonne of bricks. We were referred to the clinic because of an issue I had so I was expecting further tests and meds and then the doctors told us hubby’s sperm was crap and we had a 5% chance of conceiving naturally so we needed ICSI and there was no point carrying on with any tests on me.

For me, once I heard that I just wanted to get on with it as I’d waited long enough for the initial appointment so we made our nurse consultation appointment straight away - Hey had a 6 week wait so I felt like that was sufficient time for us to be able to get our heads around it. I then came home and started researching.

One thing I found really useful is that my clinic did a new patient information evening where they went through everything in loads of detail. It was really helpful to understand the process and be given the chance to ask questions afterwards. See if your clinic do anything similar and if not then I’ve found the slides that my clinic used online - google something like Seacroft infertility clinic information pack.

In answer to your questions, yes, the day you start meds depends on whether you’re on long or short protocol. Long you start on day 21 and short on day 1. And yes, as long as hubby doesn’t have any possible issues with getting sperm on the day (eg no sperm or an issue performing) then his sample will be on the day of egg collection.

Good luck with your cycle. If you have questions as you go along there’s loads of support on here to help you along the way.

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