Egg collection . Do I need to be ther... - Fertility Network UK

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Egg collection . Do I need to be there with my wife (sound's bad, i know)

Loulav
Loulav

Good morning x

My wife and I had our scans yesterday. My lining is 8.9 and her follicles are measuring roughly 10. (I will be carrying by wife's egg).

So they've said they will do EC this coming Wednesday or Thursday, it will be decided after another scan on Monday morning.

This sounds really bad, but i can't get time off work to be with her when she has her EC. Would I of being allowed in the room to hold her hand anyway? Is it an all day thing? As i finish work at 1.30 so do you think they could do EC on an afternoon when i can be there?

Any advice would be appreciated. Thank u x

67 Replies

Hi Loulav, I'm only speaking from my own experience so not sure if clinics do it differently. I've had ivf at 2 different clinics and both do EC in the morning. Not sure why, could be something to do with the anesthetic (I had GA first time and sedation 2nd time). The procedure itself doesn't take too long, maybe half an hour but there's lot of prepping before and then she will need time to rest after. Both times our EC was about 8am and we were out by about 11ish. The EC is a minor procedure but because of anesthetic and sometimes it being quite painful, it is wise to have someone there with her just to hold her hand really. In this instance (while it'd be nice for you to share the experience) could you ask a friend or family to be there with her? They might also say that someone needs to be with her for about 24 hrs after procedure because of anesthetic so bear this in mind. Obviously with sperm donations a male partner has to be there, but I'm guessing you are using a sperm donor. Best thing to do is speak to your clinic and ask them the estimated times and roughly how the day will go. I hope you're able to sort it out, work time off can be such a pain! xxx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Lilli79

Thank you Lilli79 for your lovely reply. My mum said she would take her. But my wife wasn't keen on having my mum holding her hand during the procedure, if you get my drift 😉😂.

We wanted to ask the consultant yesterday when we had our scan, but bottled out.

Yes we have a donor ( a lad in the marines over in the usa ) .

I don't want to tell work as my contract isn't fixed and its due for renewing, so if they get wind of it , i don't want to be out on my ear. When I have the ET , I'll have to throw a sicky. X

Lilli79
Lilli79 in reply to Loulav

Sorry forgot to say that i don't believe that your partner is allowed in the procedure room anyway but they are allowed in the recovery room after. If you have a friend who could do it that would be great, but even if your mum is there just to drive her home then that might be a help. I wouldn't say it's totally necessary to have someone in the recovery room with her as the nurses are usually really nice and attentive. Our first clinic wouldn't let us leave until we had booked a taxi (my husband doesn't drive) but second clinic were a bit more relaxed, but I don't think I would have driven home just in case. Remember there are lots of ladies who do ivf alone so I'm sure the clinic will have some experience of this. Hope it all goes well for you both xxxx p.s. ET is a doddle, and doesn't involve anesthetic so you might be able to get away with saying you have a doctors appointment or something. The latest our clinic could do transfer was 3pm so you might get away with it!!

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Lilli79

You've being extremely helpful Lilli thanku.

Putting it to prospective too about woman who do it singular , so thanks for that.

I was told ET is worse than EC, so I've being dreading it. Also thought i needed bed rest for 2 days? X

Lilli79
Lilli79 in reply to Loulav

ET is a bit like a smear really, they literally just stick a probe thingy up there with the little embie on and that's it. I didn't find it painful at all. I took 1 day off after EC (so day of EC and day after) but ET I was in work in the morning, got the call about 10am and had transfer about 2.30. My husband didn't come with me first time and I drove myself home. I took no time off work at all. 2nd time our ET was thankfully on a Sunday so my husband came with me, also back in work the next day. Both times were successful for us (first baby we sadly had mc at 12 weeks but currently 27 weeks with twins from 2nd ivf) so I don't think taking time off work makes a difference. I think they actually say it's better just to carry on as normal. Do you have a physical job? Only thing I'd say is you'll need to take it easy during the 2ww. If you're office based or whatever you'll be fine xx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Lilli79

You're expecting twins!! How amazing. Congratulations. Do you mind me asking, how many eggs did they transfer for you to be expecting twins? As we have asked for 2 to be transferred, but the clinic won't. They said they will only transfer 1 egg.

I work in a school one to one with a boy with special needs. He is very draining and hard work.

I cant believe you went on your own and went back to work. You are hardcore!! Hahah x

Lilli79
Lilli79 in reply to Loulav

Yes we had 2 embies put back in because I am over 38. They don't normally do it if under 38, but I have heard of it happening. It's possible because you have had babies before (wow, 4!! And you call me hard-core! 😄) that they know chances are higher for you. They try to avoid multiple births due to higher risk. I had to sign a consent form but tbh I've found the pregnancy fine so far. Really, don't stress the ET, it's totally fine. If your job is stressful but you really can't get any relief in 2ww how about trying reflexology or something? I did it during mine and its very calming. Many ladies also go for acupuncture. Needs to be a fertility /maternity specialist and also need to explain you are having ivf xx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Lilli79

I might sound daft but what does 2ww mean?

I had 4 children with my ex husband, hence why we're are having this baby as our first together. Iam 40 year's old, so does that lower my chances of the embryo staying put? It will be my wife's egg and she is 31 x

Lilli79
Lilli79 in reply to Loulav

Sorry that's 2 Week Wait, so basically you have to wait 2 weeks after ET until you take a pregnancy test (known as OTD = official test day). Although usually its not 2 weeks, can be anytime from 10-16 days after transfer, depends on what clinic advise. Perhaps because your wife is 31 they are not keen to do multiple transfer because her eggs would be better quality and more likely to stick. I think in all honesty they are following regulations advice rather than just being awkward, but worth asking again anyway!

Lilli79
Lilli79 in reply to Lilli79

Ps. As long as your lining is responding to the drugs as it should there is no reason to be concerned of your chances of the embie sticking xx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Lilli79

Thank you for clearing up the 2ww and the OTD. Ive seem lots of shortened things on many other posts and im baffled! Hahah. Can you tell in new to all this hahaha.

My lining is 9.8 at the moment. Not sure what its supposed to be though x

Lilli79
Lilli79 in reply to Loulav

This might help you

healthunlocked.com/fertilit...

Xx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Lilli79

Oh wow. I've just had a look. Everything seems so much clearer now hahahha. Thanks so much x

Hidden
Hidden

I had my EC in Greece so maybe it's a bit different in the UK but my husband wasn't allowed in the room with me at all. It was a pretty quick process though & I didn't know much about it thanks to the sedation 🙂. I was just told by the clinic what time my trigger shot & EC would be... I don't know if you mentioned wanting an afternoon appointment if they could take it into consideration or not. Sorry I can't be more help! X

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Hidden

Thankyou gracie. I'll have to ask them on monday at the scan x

As Lilli79 said, its usually in the morning. I've always gone with my wife, but I've never literally gone inside the operation room, just supported her going in and taken her home.

At our private clinic we opted for sedation, so my wife ( who is pretty hardcore and independent) could have easily gone home by herself after the procedure.

If your partner is having full general anesthetic then she'll need someone around to take her home.

To be honest, just make sure she has a friend with her, someone she trusts.

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Billywhizz10

Thankyou Billywhizz. So because we're paying private, do you think we will have a choice in sedation or not? X

kt_11
kt_11 in reply to Loulav

I had mine done on the NHS so can’t comment on private clinics. But just wanted to say that even if she felt well after sedation she should not really be allowed to drive home. I had sedation, not GA and wasn’t supposed to drive for 24hrs after.

It had to be my partner there so he could do his sample but if I were in your situation I’d probably have been happy for someone else to be there when I came out if he really couldn’t make it (partner wasn’t allowed in the room anyway).

Loulav
Loulav in reply to kt_11

Thankyou Kt. I think she'll be in safe hands with my mum by the sound of it. X

Just to confirm whoever accompanies her probably won’t actually be able to go into theatre with - especially where done under GA. I think my mum had to wait for about 1hr 1/2 before I came back up to the room so advised them to take something to occupy them while they wait. But yes if someone can be there to give her a hug after and take her home that would be fab. Good luck to you both.

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Kirstyes

Thanks Kirsty. So I take it you didn't have your OH with you either?

My mum has offered to take her. But if no-one is allowed in the theatre at the time of procedure, then that doesn't make me feel as guilty not being there for her x

Kirstyes
Kirstyes in reply to Loulav

Hi I’m single so both my parents came but my dad went for a walk 😂

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Kirstyes

Oh bless you. I take my hat off to you girl!! As my head is blagged with all these different meds and constant appointments, luckily the wife just tells me what to do and when lol x

That's a good question, on our 1 'free' go with NHS she had to go under , but when we had to move onto private clinic, they suggested sedation would be fine. They should certainly offer it.

She wasn't offered the choice on the NHS, but it didn't occur for us to ask. Personally, my wife preferred the sedation, she was up and about after an hour, we even got the tube and bus home. Whereas on the NHS she was out for hours and she could barely walk to the cab.

Best of luck to you both, wishing you the best for a BFP !! x

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Billywhizz10

Thank you Billywhizz, you've being a great help too. I'd be lost without this forum x

Hidden
Hidden

My clinic would let you go in room for egg collection but they had their own little theatre. I never actually let my husband in with me as I felt stronger on my own, and didn't like the thought of me been out of it and him seeing what went on 🤣 .

They always asked me if I wanted husband in and never made a fuss when I didn't

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Hidden

Thankyou cocker crazy. I don't feel as guilty letting her go with my mum now x

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Loulav

I'm sure she will be fine xx

Hidden
Hidden

Can someone else take her home? And you can look after her from 1.30?

I think it is what she feels comfortable with.

If your free from 1.30 then you can step in and take care of her.

Xxx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Hidden

Im a female too. So I will be carrying my wifes egg. So I hope I don't need to give a sample 😉😂😂😂

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Loulav

Oh god silly me! Haha :)

Well that makes things a lot easier.

I think work is so stressful for my other half and I got made redundant during the IVF procedure so we have discussed future cycles I could potentially do egg collection on my own....but suppose he always needs to be there to give a sample....

Is she happy to do it alone do you think?

Xxx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Hidden

It made me chuckle. Lol

I think she would like me there with her. But my job isnt safe at the moment and i don't want them to know we are going through ivf. I will be needing time off for the ET , so i don't want to rock the boat by having time off for EC x

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Loulav

That is fair enough - you need your job if you have a little one!

Aww best of luck with it all. :)

Fingers crossed for you two!

Xxx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Hidden

Thank you. And thank you for your support x

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Loulav

Let us know how you get on :) xxx

EC is done in theatre so partner is not allowed in. Usually a few hours rest after the procedure then just need someone to take her home afterwards and stay until you get there. Can be pretty sore afterwards x

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Sarah_S

Thankyou Sarah. My mum will bring her home and then I can look after her x

You won’t be allowed in the room but she’ll need someone there afterward as she’ll have been sedated. Also she won’t remember stuff properly because of the sedation drugs so best to have someone there after to listen when they tell you how many eggs and any complications. I Is there someone else she would be happy to go with her? They won’t let her go home if she is going to be alone. And she shouldn’t travel alone if she has been sedated, and driving insurance is invalid for 24 hours after sedation. My clinic only do EC in the morning but maybe she could ask to be last on the list? You’ll need to get on to them quickly though as the time of egg collection is determined by the time she takes her trigger a day and a half before.

Thanks for your reply Lizzie.

My mum has said she will take her. I will be home from work at 1.30 so I can take over if she's still in. I will be having the ET if all being well x

Partners are not allowed in at egg collection but can be their when the eggs get placed back in and she will defo need somone to hold her hand then cuz ET is not that nice. EC is easy cuz u r awake but u dnt give a sh1t cuz they give u so much relaxing drugs. I was well happy. But it was lovely to see my hubby when i had come round. I went in at 11 and by 1pm i was home and sleepin on the sofa

Good luck guys xx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Mrsplant

We're both female and I will be carrying my wife's egg (hopefully). So the ET will be happening to me. Ive heard lots of mixed stories about ET. Some people have said its a breeze. I'll stick with that option I think. Hahha. Thank you for your reply x

Mrsplant
Mrsplant in reply to Loulav

Dnt get me wrong its not horrible but because ur awake ur just more awate. I didn't like it but only the cleaning of my cervix xx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Mrsplant

I didnt realise they have to clean the cervix too x

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Loulav

I didn't notice them doing that during ET...🤔 I had period like cramps and was very emotional. But it is amazing to see the little embryo going in :)

Only my experience but I had no painkillers.....

Xxx

Mrsplant
Mrsplant in reply to Hidden

Yeah it is amazing.. i love how its all show on a camera for u to see and u get the lil picture str8 away

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Mrsplant

This has made me even more excited now x

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Hidden

I can imagine it is very emotional, yes. I can't wait now. Were hoping ET will be the 9th July x

Mrsplant
Mrsplant in reply to Loulav

Awww my 2nd ET is oct x

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Mrsplant

All the best for October x

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Loulav

Ah day before my bday. :)

Xxx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Hidden

Good date then eh 😉

Mrsplant
Mrsplant in reply to Loulav

Its meant to make it more likely the eggs will stick.. unsure if every clinic does it xx

Our hospital allowed my partner in the theatre for EC & it was done under mild sedation rather than general!! I also wasn’t allowed to drive for 24hrs so needed someone to take me home!! xx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Leo2017

Thankyou Leo 😊x

Leo2017
Leo2017 in reply to Loulav

Wishing you both the very best of luck!! 🤞🏻xx

Hidden
Hidden

Hi Loulav, the experience can be very painful! Is there someone else that can go along in your place. I couldn’t walk for a week after my first ec but I was over stimulated and in agony. The second wasn’t as bad in any way but it’s nice to have a close family member or friend along. Good luck to you both x

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Hidden

Thanks for your reply Natalia. My mum has offered to take her. I will be home from work at 1.30 so I can take over if she's in alot of discomfort. X

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Loulav

That’s perfect 😉 Wishing you both the very best of luck 🤞🏼X

Your wife definitely is not allowed to leave the hospital on her own. After the extraction (once you have come to, start talking cohesively, and have had something to eat) you are not allowed to leave without someone there to escort you home. It's because of the intensity of the drugs.

I also think it may be well frowned upon if you aren't there right at the beginning and all the way through.

Good luck xxx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Camillage

I can't get the time off work. So im stuck, my mum has offered to take her.

I will be carrying my wife's egg, so i will need time off work for the ET which will in itself cause a problem.

Camillage
Camillage in reply to Loulav

As long as someone is there with her it will be fine. Transfer is not quite as invasive so you should be ok on your own.

Hope it all goes well.

Xx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Camillage

Ok thanks

I found the EC procedure the most daunting bit. I was so anxious about it & has extremely grateful to have OH there... he was there as they put the cannula in and left the room just before they administered the anesthetic. ET however was fine for me - just like a smear & I wouldn’t mind doing this bit on my own. If you can’t get the time off for EC then that’s that I suppose... but if there’s a way you could persuade work, then definitely do that! Best of luck to you both Xx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Wishfully

Thank you for your reply. I don't want my work to know that we are going through IVF as my contract isn't fixed and its due to be renued for the year soon. As it will be me carrying my wifes egg, work will know that i will be going on maternity leave in the forseable (hopefully)

Wishfully
Wishfully in reply to Loulav

I totally understand. Handling this with work can be tricky. Talk with her - having her mum there with her for EC is still good. It’s for moral support more than anything else, as it’s a daunting procedure. Remember that if all goes really well and you fall pregnant, then you have certain legal protections at work. Such an exciting time for you both, wishing you lots of luck xx

Loulav
Loulav in reply to Wishfully

Thank you wishfully for your lovely words of support x

I cant get the time off work. My mum will have to take her. I will be having time off work the following week because I will be carrying my wifes egg.

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