Adoption Advice

Does anyone know if there are age limits for adoption? I turn 40 in a few days and the NHS will not fund IVF. I have just bought a house and can't afford to go private just yet and possibly not for a few years when I will be older and it less likely to work.

My husband and I are not ready to go down the adoption route just yet, but I can't go through life not being a mother either. I've enquired about fostering but been turned away as husband wouldn't foster a child older than 2 and to be perfectly honest, I want to experience parenting a baby aswell

[LKT1]

Hi I live in Hampshire and there are no age limits. They said as long as you are physically able to care for a child then you would be considered. I think there are variations to requirements depending on which county or trust you adopt through but it is unlikely 40 would be considered as an issue. If you go down this route; to speed up adoption process you should both do regular volunteer work with children. Coach a sport, assist brownies, scouts etc. unless you already work daily with children such as in a school or playgroup. We were told this was an essential requirement as they need to see you can build positive relationships with children who you don’t have a personal connection with. Again this was Hampshire’s requirement so may not be applicable for all areas but I’m sure it would still put you in a great position.

All the best what ever you decide x

[Hidden in reply to LKT1]

Thanks for the advice. I think the younger the child, the easier it would be to build that positive relationship. Everyone tells me that adoptive parents are "real" parents but I struggle to see it when all I can see are restrictons and hoops to jump through that biological parents don't have to do and it makes my attitude towards adoption less than welcoming.

[LKT1 in reply to Hidden]

There are a lot of hoops so it isn’t a quick process but you have to think of it as it as social workers doing their best to put a child with their forever family. Some of these kids have been through so much the last thing they need is to think they have a family for it to fall through and them to feel rejected or inadequate.

Obviously adoption isnt the right path for everyone but we went to a drop in info session which was really pressure free and helpful so it’s worth popping along to one just to understand the process and to see if it’s for you. X

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

I would suggest you go to a local adoption information evening. There’s no pressure (well there wasn’t at the one we went to) and you can ask all your questions. When we went to one we got to speak to an adoptive parent and an adoption social worker. It was a really positive experience.

[Hidden]

We have our first home visit with a social worker next week. I'm 40 and my hubby is 43 and that isn't an issue. I think you have to realise that babies are quite rare in adoption so you do need some flexibility. We have friends that have adopted and yes the process is intense and you jump through hoops but it's worth it and once you're parents it's no different as you're a mum no matter what x

[Hidden]

I just want to feel like any other mum does and be treated the same as any other expectant mum or mum to be. I wnt to experience pregnancy ideally, but if that's not to be then I want to experience everything from newborn upwards and I hate that one day my child might want to find their biological parents so it is a huge decision we have to make and I know I'm not ready for it just yet but I hope to be one day.

[katya38]

We go to matching panel for a 2.5 year next month. There's no exact age limit some foster carers will state age they are looking for but at 40 ull be fine. We really wanted under 2 but ended up with a wee girl who ll be nearly 3 when we get her. Most children we d seen were between 15-24 months. U can get

Newborn if u do foster to adopt but always risk they could go back to family. Good luck x