Sister in Law pregnant again....

Hey Guys,

Not really a question just a comment.

My sister in law announced yesterday she was pregnant with her 2nd child. She has been trying since January.

Just hit me hard as I remember saying, hopefully we can get pregnant before they announce their next child.

We had one failed IVF round and waiting for frozen cycle.

Feel like everyone we know has their life totally sorted.

My sister in law has a well paid job and now expecting again and I had redundancy and sub fertility!

I am sure everyone on here feels the same about announcments - happy for the couple, but reflecting on their own situation.

I know this is so trivial compared to what some of you are going through on this forum.

😑

Xxx

[Aleelilook]

Never trivial lovely, announcements are bloody hard, I never know what to do with my face, plastering on a smile when inside I’m screaming “it’s not fair”!!!! Have you decided when you’re going to go for your frozen round? Xx

[Hidden in reply to Aleelilook]

Haha yes I know. She is younger than me so I assumed it wouldn't take her long.

We have out appointment for frozen cycle on the 14th June. Counting down the days!

💕💕

[Aleelilook in reply to Hidden]

Ah not long now, good luck lovely! Hopefully this will be your time xxx

[Hidden]

It's not easy. My sister in law sent out her 12 week scan photos on the day of my egg collection. They didn't know we were having egg collection but I doubt it would have made a difference anyway. We got zero fertilisation to top it all off.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Oh that is so hard 😑 xxx

[emu2016]

Not trivial at all. Those feelings will always be there and sometimes they’ll be harder or easier than others xx

[Hidden in reply to emu2016]

Yes it is strange mixed emotion - as I love my sister in law - but I just want it to be our turn for good news. So many announcements have passed from others.

💕💕💕

[Hidden]

We can all relate to this trust me!! I’ve had my brother, sister, cousins and 4 friends all pregnant at the same time and all of them feeling awkward to tell me apart from my brother who bless him didn’t realise how painful it was for me to look at scan photos after losing so many babies especially at 14 weeks 😢. It’s perfectly normal to have a moment of ‘why isn’t me?’ ‘Why is is it so easy for some?’ but you get through it and realise everyone has their own personal struggles. My main problem on this long painful journey has been my age but I wouldn’t have changed it because i’m on this path with my husband who is such a blessing in my life and who I met at 42 (an old friend) and married 6 months later. We all have our story but no matter how hard the struggle don’t ever forget how lucky we are and all our blessings in life which keep us fighting on 🙏🏼😘xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yes I know everyone has their story behind each announcement.

I feel so grateful that I love my partner and we met late-ish too.

I do not regret not having kids with my previous partner, nor do I regret taking the time to meet someone I really love.

So - there are lots of positives.

It is just so strange that some people just simply decide to try - have sex and straight away pregnant! No idea how hard it is for others.

We have kept our IVF and TTC totally secret from our friends and family. Think that is why it all builds up inside.

😘😘😘

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It’s hard to keep it quiet but in a way I wish we did because when they know you’re having a tough time it makes them awkward around you. It might be so easy for some to get pregnant but I can guarantee they have other struggles in their life and envious of you for many other things! I wish you the best of luck for your frozen cycle 😘🤞🏼Xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yes so true. I see you are pregnant! So encouraging that your journey paid off with a positive result. 💕💕

Thanks for your kind responses xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Even with our clinic telling us to try adoption we just stuck with it and made it happen. Only 11 weeks so no counting of chickens just yet but hopeful 🙏🏼. All fingers and toes crossed for your FET 😘🤞🏼Xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It was meant to be then obviously!

😀

So glad you stuck it out.

Xxx

[Hidden]

Its so tough. Weve kept our IVF a secret although had to tell my boss due to appointment dates etc. My friends have met partners since weve been trying 3 and half years ago and theyve gone on to have 1 or 2 kids in that time and their kids are now walking and were still trying. Its unfair. One min youre really happy as something is going right the next min your down as somethings screwed up. Infertility sucks. Sometimes i look back and think why didn't i freeze my eggs at 30? but i wasnt financially stable back then. My OH has thrown in the towel after 2 rounds as hes completely skint and were left with a huge loan to pay off and no frosties. Im saving like a mad woman for donor cycle. Ive given up my social life for the last 3 years so yep i have friends but barely see them anymore. Saw my bestie in January and my other bestie in December. Didnt even bother with works free Xmas party as had my 2nd round in January which failed anyway so i may aswell have gone! I will try one last time and then that will be it for us were gonna have to call it quits X

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yes totally understand.

Wishing you luck for your next round - this might be it!!

💓

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou i truly hope so. I wish you luck too 🍀🍀🍀🍀💓

[AlexHoBo]

Totally understand how you feel. Not even counting the pregnancy announcements/ births of 1st, 2nd, 3rd 😱 child, christenings .... anymore.

Some hurt more than others, and we feel bad being happy but not so happy for them 🙄 But it’s all normal feelings considering what we re all going through.

Wishing you luck and sending big hugs xx

[Hidden in reply to AlexHoBo]

Awwww thanks! 😘😘😘

[elle80]

It's not trivial. It's what you are going through and it's how you feel, it's massive!!!

My husbands ex is about to give birth with her 2nd, apparently she didn't seem happy to be pregnant, she's not bothered about the father and doesn't want to live with him etc. And she's older than me!! Well I won't dare say what my thoughts were when she told my husband two days before Xmas, when she was only 10 weeks!! Nicely timed!! Lol.

I think we all understand how you are feeling and it is so normal xx

[Hidden in reply to elle80]

Oh god! So funny as my ex had a baby with someone after a few weeks of being together - now split and fighting for custody! We are on good terms and I wish him well. But we were talking about it this morning in reference to our situation! Surely the universe knows we can do it! 😅

Xxx

[Tugsgirl]

I don’t think anything is trivial where ttc and ivf is concerned. You have every right to feel the way you do; happy for them, sad for you. It’s so unfair xx

[Hidden in reply to Tugsgirl]

Thanks for your kind response.

😚

[Sophandjim]

We are in exactly the same boat only just started the injections for our first attempt and was feeling excited, but we went to the in laws and my sister in law wasn’t drinking and refused any tea or coffee (very unlike her). We think she is pregnant with second child but I get what you mean, happy for her but also gutted we are not in their shoes. 🙁

[Hidden in reply to Sophandjim]

I know the feeling. I was watching her like a hawk and knew before she announced it, I could just tell.

She has no idea we have been trying or indeed had our first round. We are really glad nobody knows as I know they would act strange around us.

Best of luck with your 1st cycle - hope this is it for you!

We cannot wait for our frozen cycle in the coming weeks.

Xxx

[NMP1026]

Hey hun

This post rings so many bells with me. It's such a difficult position to be in.

2weeeks after our 1st fresh round. My brother's girlfriend turned up to a family party on the hottest day of the year wearing a vest top and leggings. Showing off her 14week bump. My heart was beyond broken! They knew about the IVF and that we had just had a failed round. During the day my brother went onto tell me how they weren't trying and he can't remember how it happened. Heart and broken!

My nephew is now here. We received an invite to his christening a few weeks ago which they are having on fathers day. We lost my dad in 2010. However we also got a BFP following our 2nd FET. at the time of the christening I will hopefully be 13weeks.

Sorry hun I don't mean this to be a self centred post by no means at all. I just want to say no matter how much it hurts things can turn around. I'm wishing you so much luck xx

[Hidden in reply to NMP1026]

Thanks so much - this helps put things in perspective.

I know our luck will change and we will have our time.

So happy you got your positive in the end. You will never take it for granted.

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and keep you fingers crossed for me!

💕💕